Advocacy

Posted by twinklev

As I laid snuggled in bed last night I considered again any future in CRPS Advocacy. I’ve previously mentioned that I’ve already stepped back from much of this. I’m currently not involved in any. I’m partnered with organizations and alliances which may include but aren’t solely related to.

Bay Area, California Taken by Kurtis Ozie (Ozra) VanFleet Sept 24, 2015

Photo credit: Kurtis (Ozra) VanFleet Sept 24, 2015. Bay Area, CA. Stronger Than Pain

I re considered momentarily if I should have anything to do with being a voice for it again. Of course this tugged my heart strings as I contemplated. I need to be sure before I take on any further commitments. Since many of my views and beliefs are no longer what they once were I’m really not what you want and therefore I shouldn’t be involved.

I could feel my head move slightly to the left and then to the right. I was shaking my head no.

While I’ll go on to speak about or share things that have impacted me and others in various capacities of pain, illness and disability, I’ll leave CRPS Advocacy to those of you who inspire to do so.

As able, I’ll share you’re endeavors. I’ll try to read and share your blogs, awareness, events, and accomplishments.

This is really all I can do and I hope that it’s enough.

Advocacy and Awareness: CRPS

Posted by twinklev

sad_facw_behind_a_smiling_face_by_mudabbirali-resized

Image Source: Sad Face Behind Mask by Mudabbirali

I had always maintained a level of balance when raising awareness for Complex Regional Pain Syndromes Type 1: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy and Type 2: Causalgia. My role was to provide accuracy over inaccuracies. Identifying, evaluating and sharing diagnostic criteria for the diagnosis of CRPS. In addition was the difference between CRPS and CPS (Chronic Pain Syndrome) Chronic Pain Syndrome is a compilation of chronic pain complaints which can include RSD or Causalgia, yet is NOT a CRPS itself.

Complex regional pain syndrome occurs in two types, with similar signs and symptoms, but different causes: Type 1. Also known as reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome, this type occurs after an illness or injury that didn’t directly damage the nerves in your affected limb.

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Type 2 (CRPS Type 2) is a severely painful response to a peripheral nerve injury. CRPS Type 2 is characterized by severe, burning pain affecting a specific area as a result of the nerve injury.

Approximately 90 percent of people with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome have Type 1.

The McGill Pain Questionnaire

McGill Short Form Pain Questionnaire

McGill Pain Questionnaire (MPQ)

The McGill Pain Index

The McGill Pain Questionnaire, also known as McGill pain index, is a scale of rating pain developed at McGill University by Melzack and Torgerson in 1971. It is a self-report questionnaire that allows individuals to give their doctor a good description of the quality and intensity of pain that they are experiencing.

This index is subjective. Subjective means that your pain and symptoms are based solely on what you define them to be. It contains no objective findings to establish any certainty whatsoever.

This index leads you all to believe you have the worse pain disease known to man. Above Cancer. The index describes “Causalgia” which the majority of the people with this syndrome do not have.

Upon reading this many of you will suddenly decide that you have type 2. If you didn’t have type 2 there would be less reason to be incurable and in so much pain.

Do you know how many people over the years who have been diagnosed with RSD suddenly changed their own diagnosis to Causalgia upon learning the difference? Too many.

This is why the research and documented statistics are flawed. This is why the healthcare system fails to help us and instead classifies many of you with Chronic Pain Syndrome or Somatic Symptom Disorder.

According to the respected Dr. Philip Getson “Current estimates suggest that there are between two and ten million patients with this disorder worldwide. It is my personal belief that if you subscribe to the theory that fibromyalgia is in fact not a distinct and separate entity but rather a sub-sect of RSD (as I do), that number can be as much as five times higher.” http://www.drgetson.com/reflex-sympathetic-dystrophy.html

This is because RSD and Fibromyalgia share similar subjective results (trigger points/pressure points) and complaints in addition to some objective shared findings. Overactive nerves instigated by stress. The Fight or flight response.

I can assure you that Complex Regional Pain Syndromes Type 1: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy and Type 2: Causalgia can be drastically relieved and has the potential to be curable without drugs, sympathetic blocks, modalities or implantable devices.

I can no longer ascribe to the belief that CRPS is without possibility in healing. I’ll not tell people they’ll never get better, and I won’t be sharing the misinformation that advocacy groups expect of me. What I’ll share are the facts that surround this misunderstood syndrome and how we never have to end up disabled, sick, emotional and grieving over something that has a chance early on for an immediate remission, without years of failed treatments and medications and doesn’t ever have to lead to an end of no return.

I think I’ve proven that.

~Twinkle VanFleet, GohlProgram.com

Facebook Deactivation | RSD(S)-CRPS Advisory Info & Support Group

Posted by twinklev

By December 2nd my Facebook was deactivated. Even though I had considered it over the years, I was worried about losing my group and pages as a result, especially my RSD(S)-CRPS Advisory Info & Support Group created 13 years ago at another location. It was a spontaneous decision and one I have not regretted once.

This Group now belongs to Trudy Thomas featured Blog Talk Radio Host of The Body, Mind and Spirit Network and honorary leader of my group since it was moved to Facebook. If I choose to return it will be both Trudy’s and mine. Craig Fletcher remains an Admin/Leader and Erik and Kurtis VanFleet remain admins for the purpose of recovery. So that there are no misunderstandings Trudy is now me for the Group. Her decisions are as the current owner of the group. I have no doubts in her ability, choices, or decisions. I trust her to fulfill my vision, passion and purpose for which it was founded for.

Trudy is not available for drama, or he say’s she say’s. She would be available as able, as I was, in the event of an emergency situation such as specific breaking of the rules that were established long ago, or those being malicious or instigating toward one another. I may be involved from the background with updates from Trudy though I will not require them.

I’ll always want to know if all is okay. That’s because I care a bit too much and to my own detriment. Being an empath/sensitive only causes me to feel your pain, feelings, thoughts, dislikes, and emotions I rather not feel of you because then I’m over flowing with mine and yours, too.

Trudy is learning to live again and without her husband Mel of over 40 years. It’s only been a month since she lost him to inoperable cancer which had only been discovered 4 months before.

About 2 months ago I had posted on Facebook about Trudy, her situation, about someone we all knew (most of us) and it was a long post but I hadn’t shared who she was. This post was taken so far out of context from a few people believing I was talking about myself that I was dumbfounded. This wasn’t the only post misunderstood. I’ve posted random comments about family, life. I’ve shared meme’s, music, lyrics, poetry that of other’s and some of my own. I’ve shared lines or stanza’s in pieces and parts. Even those are taken adverse. I’m well aware that once it’s on the internet it’s always on the internet. I’m aware that if we make a post that we can’t expect others to comment if we put ourselves out there. Of course. I would never hop onto someone else’s page to scold them or entice an argument. I have however replied on my own page when someone bounces onto mine.

My point is that not everything is internet or online related, and sometimes things are. In this post it was online related, yet taken as something else, when an offline related post is assumed to be about online people. The perception is so often opposite of the intent. Left to interpretation by tone of type. The assumed tone of voice or mannerisms in the typed form of communication.

Please be mindful of Trudy’s loss. My heart continues to break for her.

Facebook is nothing but a trigger for me in my own healing and progress.

The Edge. There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
~Hunter S. Thompson

I’m still doing well since completing the Gohl Program on the 28th of October and will continue to provide progress updates on Manual Ligament Therapy (MLT) as able.

I’m still on Twitter @rsdcrpsfire and my other social media accounts are in tact at this time. I’m still an avid researcher and as hungry to learn as I’ve ever been. I’m also looking for work to attempt to provide for my husband and I.

Since resigning from iPain I have not joined any other organization, nor will I. I’ll share and support as I always had.

I made it to the California State Capital to support Mr. Nate Torgerson, Chief Engineer, Medtronic Stimulation Pain Therapies on December 4th at the California International Marathon where I was right there near the finish line to support him as he crossed it.

medtronic-nate-torgerson-crosses-the-finish-line-california-international-marathon-december-4-2016-photo-by-twinkle-vanfleet-jpg-large

Medtronic Chief Engineer, Pain Stimulation Therapies Nate Torgerson crosses the finish line at the California International Marathon in Sacramento. Photo credit: Twinkle VanFleet

I had the honor and privilege of meeting him later that evening for dinner.

Great conversation, sharing, learning, and food at Zocalo’s in downtown Sacramento. He asked me about my experience winning the Live On Give On Bakken award, and I told him what a surprise it had been to learn that I had and the honor it was to receive it from the hands of Dr. Earl Bakken himself. Dr. Bakken is the co founder of Medtronic. Forever grateful to be chosen as 1 of 12 recognized internationally and being 1 of 2 from the United States. Twinkle VanFleet, Sacramento California.

Twinkle VanFleet, Sacramento, CA, LiveOnGiveOn.org recipient. Original Press Release Photo.

Another honor was being contacted by Mr. Pat Anson of the Pain News Network to consider offering comment on an upcoming article. I accepted.

Opioid Pain Meds Rarely Involved in Suicide Attempts
December 05, 2016 By Pat Anson, Editor

I’ll keep sharing my story, what happened, how it happened, when it happened and anything else I can to support those lost by pain related suicide. As well as those survivors who can never go back to the moment before they attempted to take their own lives. I don’t get to go back and pray for an option, help, that wasn’t there but I can go forward understanding why they did it, what the breaking point was, how severe physical pain was to go against all they believed in just to be free from pain and suffering.

My casting calls are still booming with possibilities since I updated a couple of weeks ago. For now, I’m deciding, and brushing up on the various characters I can play.

Offline, I have an amazing reputation, respected in advocacy, legislation, held in wonderful regard by those that matter, including those in authority, business, politics, and healthcare even when in disagreement over a bill, debate or topic. Online, unless we already know each other, or have met in person it will rarely be the same because what you see isn’t always what you get and what you get isn’t what you’ve already given.

It’s all a stage.

Be good to one another.

~Twinkle VanFleet

#StrongerThanPain

NERVEmber – iPain Foundation

Posted by twinklev

NERVEmber ™ brings awareness to the 150 plus conditions that have nerve pain as a symptom.The International Pain Foundation host the OFFICIAL NERVEmber project events each year. Since its inception, tens of thousands of nerve pain patients and organizations have signed on to help promote NERVEmber. Did you know the color orange is the international color for chronic pain awareness. In over 150 conditions that do have nerve pain as a symptom, RSD is one of the most painful. Yet this condition is misunderstood, mistreated and often misdiagnosed.#NERVEmber is International Nerve Pain Awareness Month (including RSD, CRPS, Diabetes, Neuropathy and more). Each day during the month of NERVEmber the iPain (@powerofpain) will present an awareness task that we can all perform!This year we are also giving away prizes available for everyone who registers to participate and uses the hashtags, complete tasks, host or attend an event. The more you participate in OFFICIAL #NERVEmber events, the more chances you have to win! Check out all events going on in NERVEmber Event Calendar.You can bring awareness to conditions like #RSD #CRPS #Diabetes by posting everyday in #NERVEmber with @powerofpain #PaintTheWorldOrange. Using these tags will earn you chances to win some great prizes!During November, the International Pain Foundation’s #NERVEmber project is also supporting the #CRPSdayofaction, #RSDdayofaction, @theproject3x5’s #OrangeInitiative, A voice for the people with CRPS – CRPS RSD Australian Network, United in the Fight for CRPS Awareness, #ColorTheWorldOrange, #ColourTheWorldOrange.Want to be a #iPain Super Advocate for NERVEmber and have extra chances to win! … Register HERE Thank you for visiting NERVEmber.org and don’t forget to visit NERVEmber™ on FACEBOOK.

See original Source for links.

Source: NERVEmber – iPain Foundation

Adjusting

Posted by twinklev

You don't owe anyone anything... You owe yourself everything. By Dyversiti. Resized It’s not all sugar plums and dancing fairies even when bodily pain is minimized to any degree. Especially in the injury that led to RSD/CRPS and the devastating consequences that just hasn’t let me forget. It has nothing to do with the loss of work, inspirations, or goals that might have been. The regret has remained heavy because of the manipulation involved in a decision, one I would have never considered had I not been told from health care providers that doing so would prevent a detrimental outcome and allow possibility in recovering. The choice was for the ones I already had. I never got better and as a result I not only felt deceived but also used to reduce cost and care for both of us.

I’m trying to tell myself this is what it was for. Today! It just took 15 years to get there. I’ve already told me how stupid I was for believing in others when I knew better and that led to future distrust. I had already overcome, mostly, other trust issues and there I learned to build my wall so much stronger than it was before.

So here I am still trying to clean up my own mess from the first few months of this year and its aftermath that’s only 7 months old that I can’t even throw away as garbage yet because it’s still active with a new appointment in just a couple of days.

Every day that I get better is another day that I ask myself why. What was it all for?

I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see.

Review – Gohl Program | Part 3

Posted by twinklev

Review – Gohl Program | Part 3

By Twinkle VanFleet

It’s time to heal by Kori Leigh

It’s important to understand that MLT isn’t a magic pill we get to swallow and become miraculously cured by. It’s the beginning of curing ourselves. Cure in medicine is defined as:

cure (kyur)
n.

Restoration of health; recovery from disease.
A method or course of treatment used to restore health.
An agent that restores health; a remedy.
cured , cur·ing , cures
To restore a person to health.
To effect a recovery from a disease or disorder.

Remission in Medicine is defined as:

remission re·mis·sion (rĭ-mĭsh’ən)
n.

Abatement or subsiding of the symptoms of a disease.
The period during which the symptoms of a disease abate or subside.

It’s not really difficult to understand that a cure is just as possible as remission can be. How? The answer is simply by restoring a person to health.

“Manual Ligament Therapy (MLT) is a new and original technique created by Arik Gohl. … We have learned that ligaments are a significant source of pain, especially in cases of chronic pain. Until injured ligaments can heal from their underlying dysfunction, muscles will remain in a tense and guarded state.”

I know what you’re thinking. If you have Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Complex Regional Pain Syndrome that you’ll forever live a life of pain with potential spreading from the original site of injury to the rest of your body.

It can be true, but it doesn’t have to be. All of those symptoms, burning, allodynia (pain resulting from a stimulus (as a light touch of the skin) which would not normally provoke pain; also : a condition marked by allodynia) hyperalgesia (increased sensitivity to pain or enhanced intensity of pain sensation), hyperesthesia (unusual or pathological sensitivity of the skin or of a particular sense)

I really don’t have either of the above anymore. My body is still learning not to feel sensations of pain while also recognizing those areas that aren’t hurting. If anything its just hyperesthesia I’m working through. Example, sock me and I’ll feel that sensation long after the actual event. Like a repetitive action.

Keep in mind after years of pain, signals misfiring, injuries taking on abnormal healing paths, other areas of my body becoming effected beyond the site of the original injury that I have a main role to play in reversing these abnormalities. I have to reset my perception to pain by reversing all that my body knows, felt, and has learned as a result.

5 days of Manual Ligament Therapy has gotten me to this point. The custom orthotics is correcting every abnormal step I’ve taken since January of 2001.

You might be thinking manual? Yes, you’ll have to be touched, and you’ll have to move areas you’ve stopped using due to RSD/CRPS, chronic pain. This isn’t traditional physical therapy, you’ll actually feel restricted tissue, muscles, and a myofascial release of those symptoms and connective fibrous tissue eased.

What about burning which is the hallmark symptom of RSD? It’s eased the same way.

Currently MLT isn’t a covered therapy under insurance. Like many other integrative, complimentary, or holistic practices, including acupuncture, acupressure and similar therapies which may be beneficial we’re still legislatively working on these options for you.

MLT is non-invasive.

Another healing retreat will be held at the Sheraton Los Angeles International Airport beginning Monday, November 28, 2016. http://www.sheratonlax.com/

The cost for the treatment is $2,500 and doesn’t include travel or hotel. I know it sounds like a lot, but it’s not compared to a single injection or invasive procedure billed to insurance or accumulative and yearly co-pays. For more information please contact Monica Depriest: Monica@gohlprogram.com

I’ll be present also to follow-up on my own therapy.

So with that I look forward to meeting you and hope that you’ll give yourself the opportunity to feel better. Sometimes it takes pain to get rid of it. It’s a process of not only healing but believing in yourselves enough to understand that’s it’s possible rather than impossible and pain being the rest of your lives.

To be continued…

Review – Gohl Program

By Twinkle VanFleet

Part 1 – https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/10/31/review-gohl-program-part-1/

Part 2 – https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/11/06/review-gohl-program-part-2/

Review | Gohl Program | Part 1

Posted by twinklev

Review – Gohl Program

By Twinkle VanFleet

Approximately 3 weeks ago I was contacted by Barby Ingle, President of the International Pain Foundation with a program to consider. Barby sent me Dr. Edward Glaser’s phone number and a link to what the program entailed.

Those of you who know me would also know that I had to do more research on the Manual Ligament Therapy (MLT) being offered. I had to learn more! I had to try to understand the concept, and how it might work if it could. It wasn’t just the Gohl Program itself that I researched. I also pulled up each name involved. 3 of which were Dr. Glaser, Arik Gohl, and Dr. Forbes. Then I read up on Monica DePriest and her daughter Haley DePriest who had CRPS and who is well today because of the program and the techniques that Mr. Gohl’s therapy provider her. Testimonials.

http://rsds.org/tag/the-gohl-program/

See how my curiosity piqued even more? We’ve all been told that CRPS/RSD is incurable. We’ve learned that it’s also in our blood not just our bodies. I wasn’t as skeptical as some may have been because I had already, several times, researched techniques involving manual trigger point therapies, acupressure, Chinese medicine techniques and similar holistic treatments dating back to the 1800’s. I had already been treated earlier this year with the Bowen Technique.

I had become so let down by western medicine not being able to relieve my own CRPS, or specifically CRPS Type 2/Causalgia in any way other than by Lumbar Sympathetic Nerve Blocks, medications, and traditional physical therapies that only provided minimal relief, if any, that depressions worsened and hope was nowhere to be found. Since December of 2006 the only steady I had was my Medtronic Spinal Cord Stimulator which reduced or disguised enough symptoms that walking wasn’t as painful as it was prior, and pain medications could be reduced by my choice in the permanent placement.

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome: Systemic Complications
CRPS is becoming the great imitator in pain medicine. This article discusses the symptomatology of the disease, including atypical presentations.
By Robert J. Schwartzman, MD

http://www.practicalpainmanagement.com/pain/complex-regional-pain-syndrome-systemic-complications

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Guidelines 4th Edition

CRPS-guidlines-4th-ed-2013-PM

All those things I had accomplished over the years, I found little happiness in. I put on the fake it to make it mask and I wore it quite well. Who would have ever thought that I struggled so badly with suicidal ideations that even my spiritual beliefs couldn’t stop me from wanting to bail on this world.

A mid-metatarsal separation of my right foot (also known as a Lis Franc fracture) January of 2001 in an industrial injury began the last 16 years of uncertainty, loss, rejection, abandonment, failure, and secondary diagnosis’. I still had my upper body though. My hands, fingers, and arms would make up the difference. I could still write type and use social media. In 2009, 9 years after, I got a left foot accelerator pedal installed on our van to be able to drive again. Oh I tried! By that time my left leg was too weak also to drive safely.

I had already had degenerative changes in my spine, but pretended that I didn’t. My legs hurt so bad that it diverted any back pain. 3 years ago my arms started doing things I didn’t understand. Beginning with my left and worsening on the right. By the time I had an EMG my left was reduced and my right just continued to worsen. I’ve never had an EMG or nerve conduction studies on the right side. As 2016 approached the pain in my neck, shoulder, chest, upper and mid back, head, face, the sensations of pulling, tugging, ripping, intense pins and needles, paraesthesia, became so unrelenting that I really couldn’t take it anymore. Bending at the waist started a flare each and every time. I still have to work on that. I had lost feeling in my thumb, forefinger and wrist. My right hand had lost strength.

But wait! I still had my left hand and arm. If I ever needed the gift in being ambidextrous, I would really need it now more than ever to be a part of anything, offline or online.

I had unknowingly believed in hope while other’s told me I was in denial and that I had to accept all those things I wouldn’t be and couldn’t do and would never do. At a higher level of consciousness I saw the light ahead, but was conflicted by the darkness of despair.

I’m already so much better than I’ve ever been in 16 years because of MLT.

I celebrated my 48th birthday while at the program. My son drove my husband to Loomis CA to spend an hour or so with me. First time I’ve been away, on my own, anywhere in 15 years.

Me and my husband Erik

Me and our son Ozra

twinkle-vanfleet-gohl-program-october-26-2016

While I’m still wrapping my own head around it, it’s not as unbelievable as it seems. I promise.

But wait! There’s more..

To be continued…

Support

Posted by twinklev

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who’s supported me this year. If you’ve ever offered a “feel better”, “prayers”, “love”, “care”, “like” or supporting comment on any of my pages, this means you. You’re support has meant much and will remain as such. For many years, I rarely revealed it all. One day came that I started to and while I may have said too much, I really haven’t said enough.
Social media provides a platform of venting that some of us would not ever reveal the same way offline. It’s sometimes too easy to just say it, but then consequences arise.
I’ve learned that while my family would die for me they would not ever know if I was in distress. I look well enough, I keep going, I’m too strong. I’m our rock! This can be said for all the families out there that has dealt with addiction, or overdose. Let’s teach families to recognize signs and symptoms of both the use of medication and those who haven’t been relieved enough to sustain life. When we can do this, we’ll truly make the impact we need to for other’s.
There is pain in addiction and overdose, there is pain in believing you’ll never make it because your physical self cannot handle the body, mind and spiritual decline in it’s entirety or the emotions that arise from it.
I’ve learned that we’re all in pain. One way or the other regardless if someone admits it or not. All of us have an underlying “mental health” emotion. It’s the human experience. Life, love, loss, finances, parents, children, families, friends, work, volunteering, hopes, wishes, exercise, something..

There will always be something to stress down from, re group, and go forward with.

It’s life and it’s living.

You don't owe anyone anything... You owe yourself everything. By Dyversiti. Resized

Over

Posted by twinklev

In the last week I’ve shared about 6 video’s in the raw. Unedited, me without make up, me with make up, me just going on about the last few months or more, blah blah.

I made it 15 years. I made the last 10 with SCS, medication and functional restoration and the last 4 by medication management, SCS, and home functional restoration enough to help me set goals and achieve them. Sometimes it can really take time to get unstuck from the pain cycles, the why me’s, sulking pity party. I busted my butt, learned, wanted to learn, and aside from a patient, I’m a caregiver too. Hard? It has to be done.

So many times I’ve had to alter my list of the 3 most important tasks needing done in a day. I’d move the least important to the top of the following day’s list. All those little tricks and things I’ve learned over the years that hang out in my toolbox of survival mechanisms.

I knew it was almost over. I just never imagined it would be by the hands and decisions of others/provider’s before giving up of my own. I just didn’t think… of all the thinking I do that my award also became part of my end. I worked hard for that. Decades for that. Unpaid for that.

Spontaneous? Not really. I messaged my mom to have my Advanced Directive revoked and destroyed. I’ve tried to and I haven’t been able to get them back. It was Valentine’s Day, I called the radio station The new STAR and dedicated a song to my man. I’ll hold back on that song title right now. I took the last walk I ever thought I’d walk. It was long and hard, and I had to sit on people’s lawns or lean against trees or mailboxes and it was really only a little farther than end of our block.

Am I a quitter, a coward? Perception. A quitter and a coward would have never rolled into those headlights, but let’s be fair, I haven’t quit yet.

I was already in withdrawal, unstable, but woke up to a nice day. It was all good until I re read the first denial letter stating those 2 medications (Cymbalta and Zonegran) weren’t medically necessarily and not supported by the California MTUS (Yes they are). It also claimed that due to the doctors report it was left to interpretation on a couple of matters and one of them was that those 2 medications didn’t reduce my potential for abuse or minimize my current opioid use. Seriously?!!

I appealed and I won. No potential for abuse or misuse and both medically necessary.

Approved on appeal February 16, 2016. I’m still not on them, nor am I on any pain reliever at all.

I can get through the 7’s, bouncing 8’s and 9’s. I can use my tools to bring those 8/9’s down enough to level myself. I couldn’t handle the 9/10 I couldn’t bring myself out of it. The physical 9/10 that can make you lose your mind. Why? Because it’s in your mind where you’re coping abilities and strategies are.

Already living in your head all day just to manage your 7, see what happens when 10 comes and there isn’t any help. I’ve rarely used 10 in my entire life, I seldom use 9, except to acknowledge it gets there off and on throughout any day for seconds, minutes, hours.

10 though! I drank that bottle, intoxicated, drunk, I could care less about labels because I hit the ground on my stomach and face so hard I passed out. Somnolence, narcoleptic episodes (diagnosed) or alcohol, perhaps a combination of each. Though my husband said he dropped me as I was leaning against him.

I walked out of our gate and stood against our lamp post. Husband came out and told me to go back inside. I wasn’t doing anything but standing there, reflecting, thinking, but then…

He started grabbing me to lead me in and a lady called the Sheriff’s Department on him for abusing me. He wasn’t, but he was in my space and I just wanted to chill. I was sure to tell her that he didn’t hurt me, beat me, abuse me and that I was fine. I was. I think.

Our street, people drive down it like there is no road and a speed limit doesn’t exist.

That was my out! I laid down in the center of the street, spread my arms and my legs as best as I could and I could see headlights flying right for me. Am I mad I was pulled out of the street? A little. Why would I ever think to let a driver be responsible for killing me. Well how about this, slow down and do the speed limit. Everything is a learning experience.

The unbelievable inaccuracies in my medical records are nearly beyond fixing. Medications listed I’m not even taking, and a few for more than a year. I’ve updated again since my release and tonight I peeked at my Patient EMR. They’re all still listed. So the medications go on the record, but they don’t come off? There’s a difference between previously taken medications (inactive) and medications currently taking (active). It say’s I’m on 11 medications including 2 opioids, a benzo, oic med, lidoderm patches, cymbalta, and zonegran and I”M NOT! Lisinopril, Hydralazine, Atorvastatin and Nuvigil. That is what I’m on. 4 medications. Red flag above 7, did you know that? So yes, I’ve been red flagged and it’s flying the wrong way.

I’m sorry to the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department, the Metropolitan Fire Department and the EMT and probably ambulance driver too. I didn’t trust you.

When you asked if I was in pain? I told you I wouldn’t tell you even if I was… Because… I wasn’t going to have in my record an opioid pain reliever documented as given to me. Yeah I suffered and I suffered for not being truthful. I’m learning though that truth and honesty is just someone elses made up lies. Unfortunate casualties of the world we live in.

To the Officer that lacked a little faith, I pray I left you with something. Heart! Have a little faith that sometimes not everyone is who the rest of the world made us out to be.

I’m not sorry for the actions that led to my consequences or my responsibility in it. It’s forever now. I’m glad I screamed all the policy issues going on and made it loud and clear for blocks. I’m sorry for all those who played a part and either bailed or covered their own asses. I’m sorry for all those who think relieving pain leads to misuse, abuse and heroin above the overdoses that are self inflicted one way or the other.

Who ever thought it’d be me? No one!

Courage - Your fear

Goals? Get my lyrics out to those who’ve been interested and play that part of a lifetime. Really though, I’ve already done everything I wanted. From Poster Girl to TV Commercial, being published by my 20’s, being a part of Sacramento history in the news, hard copy, on the news live, iPain Foundation, my own endeavors. All in the background from my space, my cubby.

I’ll either fly off this earth by the grace of God, or by my faith in options. Take that as you will. I’ve had to choose, make choices, decisions, options to save my own life. My own!

Still not what you would simply assume.

I don’t hardly care about much right now because I can’t fix me enough to put in the few hours a month I had been to help others. I’m numb and it’s not the numb I wish it was. It really is easy to rectify wrongs, accidents, mistakes, oversights, correct errors and be responsible for your own actions. It really is easy to do. The only reason someone would choose not to is to hide their own guilt and be unable or against a face to face with you in the presence of a sit down meeting with lead staff for a reconciliation. I feel bad about that and I shouldn’t because I did move to rectify and was denied. I was even denied the 30 days of “emergency care” allotted by law when being dismissed by a provider.

I am grateful for the person who provided LLLT and Bowen Therapy yesterday. Bowen might take a few more times. LLLT I’ve done a few times before. The only “maybe” for months.

Really though, my problem is that I care too much but I think that’s been back handed out of me. None of this is finished, some has only just begun and the rest well… it is what it is, for now.

Over and…

out.

The Body, Mind and Spirit; Humanizing the Soul

https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/02/11/the-body-mind-and-spirit-humanizing-the-soul/

It Really Hurts to Hurt | Live On. Give On.

https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/03/20/it-really-hurts-to-hurt-live-on-give-on/

The Unintended Side Effects of Fighting Prescription Drug Abuse by Twinkle VanFleet

The California Progress Report January 8, 2015

http://www.californiaprogressreport.com/site/unintended-side-effects-fighting-prescription-drug-abuse

Bracelets; Lockdown; Profound and Letdown

https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/02/26/bracelets-lockdown-profound-and-letdown/

Live On. Give On | 2015 Bakken Invitation Honoree | Pre-Review

Posted by twinklev

Week of January 11, 2016 (never shared)

As I get ready to fly to Kona, Hawaii for the Medtronic Bakken Awards, I’m trying to help myself overcome challenges related to traveling, weight bearing, pulmonary and sleep disorder issues. My breathing has been unstable this week, my head, neck, arms, and even female troubles have poked me in the side.

I had my appointment with my PMD yesterday to ask for considerations that might help me through as it’s becoming harder and harder to stay up on my own and maintain pain levels. I already put in for ADA assistance during the travel and at the hotel. Yet, I won’t allow myself to be confined to a wheelchair while there, so I’m carefully pacing myself so that my legs carry me. My Medtronic Spinal Cord Stimulator has been my pill for 10 years. I’ll be able to adjust for optimum relief, but to do so also means that I have to either not be on my legs/feet at that time or not raising my settings for added comfort. I learned a long time ago how to get the best out of it for me. I’ve also learned that there are times I have to trade relief for walking and I can’t always have both at the same time. I can set my stim to numb me, but because I am one of the lucky ones whose stimulation does reach the toes, increasing this setting can knock me off my legs. I reserve this for non weight bearing pain relief. This is not an adverse effect, but a plus and benefit that has to be noted and chosen to best fit my time and place.

My Auto Servo Ventilator is too big and quite heavy to carry, so I may have to go without it. Still working on that. Otherwise I’d be traveling with 2 medical devices and have little room for anything else.

At this time next week, we’ll have already landed and be apart of the meet and greet with each honoree, Medtronic and so many others. I’m looking forward to representing Power of Pain Foundation as the new International Pain Foundation, myself as honoree, each honoree for what they have also accomplished and given, advocacy, volunteering, my family, my closest friends, and Dr. Earl Bakken and Medtronic Philanthropy.

There are a few wonderful people and establishments I want to say thank you to for being apart of this with me.

The International Pain Foundation (IPF) #iPain – Previously known as the Power of Pain Foundation. http://powerofpain.org/

Sacramento Pain Clinic – Dr. Michael Levin – Since 2004. Not just a Pain Management Doctor, but a patient advocate going above and beyond his own job for his patients.)

http://www.sacpainclinic.com/sacpain.php

Jacob Chopourian, Therapy Representative, Pain Therapist, Medtronic Inc Neuromodulation, Sacramento, California. www.medtronic.com

(Jacob has been part of my surgical team. He’s also adjusted me as needed. When I had my 9 year battery replaced I donated back to Medtronic my carrying bag, handheld stim (my stim) case, charger, hip straps, antenna, and manuals so that someone who needed these items in whole or in part could have them. Jacob came to my home to pick it up. Amazing man.)

Katie Tamez, Clinical Specialist, Pain Therapy, Medtronic Inc
Neuromodulation. Sacramento, California. www.medtronic.com

(Katie has worked to fine tune me, too.) I’ve no longer needed the 3 programs I started with many years ago, sitting, walking, sleeping. I use a single program with pulse. Wonderful lady.)

Compass Center for Functional Restoration – (Dr. Michael Levin MD) Rick Wurster MSG, MPT, BCIAC http://www.sacpainclinic.com/compass.php

(The center that taught me all there is about pain, physically, emotionally and psychologically. How to live with it using the mind, spirit and body to overcome flareups and maintain a modicum of sanity. Because of them I’ve been able to teach others what they taught me and find some joy and laughter in pain.)

Western Dental – Elk Grove Florin Road, Elk Grove, California

Dr. Tooloei, Staff.

You did great. Thank you for trying before I left for Hawaii. Trying meant enough to me.

Trudy Thomas, Featured BlogTalkRadio Host of the Living with HOPE Radio show on the Body, Mind and Spirit Network.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebodymindandspiritnetwork
So proud of you and all you’ve given, selflessly. Happy that we have each other and our friendship survives the things we can’t do anymore.
Honored to have been both your co-host and guest speaker and warmed that you will always be family. Thank you for being all that I can count on as honorific leader/admin of my group. I love you!

Roy, MD Junction – http://www.MDJunction.com (Honored to have lead your Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Support Group for years.

http://www.mdjunction.com/reflex-sympathetic-dystrophy

Glad to have lead the ADHD support group on behalf of the children and parents who needed someone to oversee it. Pleased to still be a Senior Member and
MDJ Advocate. Love you all!)

Barby Ingle, www.BarbyIngle.com
(Together we can! Together we will! And together we are! Through MDJ and Trudy we found each other. I’ll forever remember the ones who cherished me for cherishing them. All 3 of you! Onward I go with #iPain. I love you!)

My Mom and Dad(s) (I know my dad is watching over. Gone since I was 22. My mom and dad was married 25 years when I closed his eyes. My mom and dad have been married 20 years and dated prior to that. So Mr. Don Tresca has been my father just as long as my birth dad was. I pray I’ve honored them all evenly and fairly as their daughter. I love you!)

Erik, Kharisma, Rikki, Kurtis and De’Mantai (my 5 lights). (Awards and recognition is great but not if they are seemingly meaningless to those that it should have mattered most, too.
There’s so much I’ve advocated for on your behalf’s that you’ve never even seen. I know that it all gets stale at some point but if you only knew it was never more for someone else than it was for you. Seek and you shall find. love you! Ohana.)

I’m so glad Daddy saw, felt, and knows now. Sometimes it takes a miracle and that miracle came. It’s all good. Ask him ~winks

Annie-Marie Garcia (30 years! Time in between where we had gaps because life does that with work and loss. We don’t want to add burden to those we love or stomp on someone else’s, okay. That’s what we tell ourselves at least. I’m glad I got you now in the illness you should have never ended up with. I wish I was there when you were first going through it and if only I had known. Lets never let anything separate us again. For you and I, we have something special, we can see each other every day, or have weeks, months or years go by, but we always know that when it comes down to it, we are the ride or die. I love you!)

Maryann Kupidlowski Stafford (My sister since our babies were babies. Young teen daughters. If we weren’t there together we would have never met. Your curiosity, my extended learning, teaching. We both did, and we both gave, mine was just for extending natural order A decade? 12, 13. Time flies. Here we are moving forward in light, love and tomorrow. I love you!)

PK Saint-Amour (Bruja, pain, strength and the sight. Light and the “F’off. I so love you for being courageous in all of it. I’m so glad that you’re my sister in knowledge and fight. I love you!) https://www.facebook.com/groups/InvisibleWarriors/

Eileen McCready (A long time now too, background, foreground, compassion and understanding beyond pain. Sister of mine, always. I love you!)

Saskia Hubelmeijer (My international sister who does all she can in the Netherlands despite pain and hardship, and for America, too. Who’s assisted in leading my group since 2011, as formal admin and informal I love you!)

Billy Rose (Thank you brother for leading light and love above pain and hurt for all people. You demonstrate what the world needs more of and you are providing the change needed to overcome it all again) I love you!

The Council (We are who we are and one day when the earth is over, or death takes us, we’ll still be us, together, teaching, giving, inspiring, awakening those asleep all in their own time) I love you all. http://www.councilofenlightened.org/

The Sacramento News & Review (For featuring my voice and passion over 20 years ago) November 17, 1994, Speaking Out Edition) https://rsdadvisory.com/2015/07/24/sacramento-news-review-november-17-1994-speaking-out/

https://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/home

ECV Chapter 3 (Clampers/widders) E. Clampus Vitus was established in 1849.

http://ecv3.net/ http://www.ecvgazette.com/

(In memory of IRJR http://www.irjr.com/, a great man, friend, Clamper, who many years ago when founded Widders Web honored me with his chat program instead of the one I was using for us, I used his to then honor what he started years previous to that. http://www.irjr.com/widderschat/ While the pages are currently not found and the chat needs updating, I wanted to thank him again. Mr. IRJR is no longer with us.

SPPAN (State Pain Policy Advocacy Network) (I hope we continue on)

RSD(S)-CRPS Advisories

(Founded by me, for you)

—————

Refer to December 27, 2015

https://rsdadvisory.com/2015/12/23/twinkle-vanfleet-2015-honoree/

To be continued!…

The best is yet to come.

Twinkle VanFleet, 2015 Bakken Invitaton Honoree, Sacramento CA, #iPain, with Dr. Earl Bakken Medtronic Co-Founder, Kona Hawaii. Awards reception. January 16, 2016.

http://bakkeninvitation.medtronic.com/honorees-winners/

http://bakkeninvitation.medtronic.com/honorees-winners/2015/twinkle-van-fleet/index.htm

http://newsroom.medtronic.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=251324&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=1822170

http://newsroom.medtronic.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=251324&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=2122319

http://www.nasdaq.com/press-release/the-medtronic-bakken-invitation-award-honors-12-patients-from-around-the-world-for-giving-back-20151214-00566.

http://www.otcmarkets.com/stock/MDT/news