Former smoker

There’s hardly anything left to change about myself anymore. Evolve is all thats left.

About 6 weeks ago, I decided it was time to stop smoking. I know, I know, bad habit.

I had ceased smoking for over a year about a decade ago, and again for more than half a year in the same few years. I used Chantix, yet that wasn’t an option this time.

If I could get through the last 6 years without doctors, treatments, medications, and give up drinking for over 3 years now, I could surely do this.

I have! Today’s my 6th day done.

No going back.

I weaned myself lower and lower, and I had tried a generic patch. I don’t recommend that. It hardly made any difference. I used Nic lozenges and those were helpful enough to cut down, not quit.

I’d have to rely on self control and hope that all the work I’ve done for myself over the years to keep intractable pain, major depressive disorder and anxiety disorders stable would benefit me for this, as well.

I didn’t want to become frustrated and give up. At one point I thought I chose the wrong time to try. Too much going on simultaneously. I ended up in a flare, and that made trying harder some days.

What do smokers do in pain and under stress? Smoke! Ugh!

On March 14th, I began NicoDerm patches. March 15th was my last Cig. On the second day, I wasn’t sure yet if I’d achieve this. It already felt harder than quitting drinking had been. Then again I wasn’t a drinker like I was a smoker. Not even close. On the 3rd day, I had more confidence again.

My daughter had left me the remainder of her vape. I have it on hand. I’ve minimally used it. Its like a security blanket. Just being there makes any mental aspect easier.

I won’t be replacing cigarettes with the vape. This is only for now. It makes no sense for me to replace nicotine with nicotine in the long run. Not my goal at all. I know that people have done this, and I would never take that from them. I’m proud of them for making there own change. For me though I want to be entirely done with any type of smoking. I don’t even smoke cannabis.

I’ve used it, I’m not a user of it. I’m a mini hitter quitter. Ha! I can’t tolerate it like most can. A pinch of edible occasionally. That’s it!

The most I’ve gotten out of it is muscle relief at times, or sleep. It doesn’t help me otherwise.

People are always trying to push the weed my way. No thank you. When I lost pain care, I got my California certification to use it medicinally. I tried several types, edibles, flower, pens, cbd, cbd thc combo, etc. I let my certification expire because the benefit wasn’t better than being high. We’ve become legal for recreational usage since so I still have access if need be.

I’m trying to face life not have another escape from it.

We’re all on our own journey. It’s the best thing there is for some, and not for others.

I started NicoDerm with Step 2 instead of the first step. My intake was less than half pack a day. Some people still smoke while using the patches during wean down. I didn’t this time. I dislike the term “suck it up” yet that’s exactly what I had to do. I just needed to get through those first couple of days. Anyones last cig day is probably the same.

Hand/mouth part of the habit can be rough. Years of repetitive actions. Same thing over and over again. My husband got me some dum dum suckers to help with that. I’ve had a few, but I’m not needing to sit or move around with a sucker between my lips all day. I think I just wanted it because it was a sucker more than for that habit itself.

When I had quit smoking previously I referred to myself as a former smoker instead of a non smoker. I felt non smoker took away from the true non smokers. Those who’ve never smoked at all.

Former is good for me.

Feliz lunes a todas!

2 thoughts on “Former smoker

  1. why dont you accept my help i had rsd and wrote a book on it which i gave you a rough copy. if we work together on your condition, you will be cured. it is your pain deal with it the way you think is best. best of luck to you

    mark waltercell 845 857 7484   i want to help you help me help you


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