Masala

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Masala

Image Source: Tritonprinting

Pity wasn’t her calling,
resilience was.

Certainty wasn’t the future,
overcoming impossibles were.

Hope didn’t always exist,
faith always had.

Giving selflessly was admired,
a gift misunderstood.

Receiving wasn’t an option,
earning it was.

Hardships were just ripples,
meticulousness would wash them away.

Progress had to be for herself,
determination would be solo

A medly of flavorful masala,
unique from the status quo.

Pain

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pain-by-twinkle-vanfleet

Pain is overrated,

Pain is underrated,

Pain is misstated,

Pain is subjugated.

Pain is subjective,

Pain is protective,

Pain is deceiving,

Pain is objective.

Pain is loving,

Pain is restless,

Pain is heartless,

Pain is breathless.

Pain is productive,

Pain is weakness,

Pain is strength,

Pain is forgiveness.

Pain is reminders,

Pain is blinders,

Pain is reckless,

Pain isn’t faithless.

Pain is teaching,

Pain is reaching,

Pain is giving,

Pain is receiving.

Pain is passion,

Pain is purpose,

Pain is humble,

Pain is service.

Sharing permitted without alteration.

wwgrctwvf_rsdadvisory

Words

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Diversity by Twinkle VanFleet

3 weeks solo and trying to decide whether or not to merge all of it here. All of it. The pain, the passion, all that purpose, essays, the filed away lyrics, the unpublished poems, the soft erotica, those short stories, the dances. Dances?

Words.

I’m guessing I’d have to show you, you’d have to read it for yourselves. 20 years of being out there and circulating already.

Expression, adjectives, descriptive, alluring.

Unrelated to the pain communities. Though I suppose that there would be relief, ease, laughter and a sense of distraction in what I could have been providing all along.

No worries.

It’s only just begun.

Again.

Unicorn

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Unicorn
by Rosie Broyles Tresca

unicorn-horse-head-with-a-horn-and-wings_318-48956

I am a unicorn

People call me beautiful but never really see me

I am iridescence

changing at every blink and angle

I am newly cut glass

extremely fragile but always shining through

I am a rose

scents that lure you with thorns that prick

I am better

happy and never going back

I am a unicorn, beautiful and real

Written by my little sister and used with permission.

Conscientious | Poem

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Conscientious
by Twinkle VanFleet

Distance, resistance
Defiance, compliance

Residual, peripheral
Visions, decisions

Subjective, objective
Experiences, differences

Reckless, perspective
Gracious, reflective

Ambition, intuition
Volition, submission

Relevancy, hesitancy,
Prevenancy, indefinitely

Precognition, transition
Recondition, re position.

wwgrctwvf_rsdadvisory

Drop a Beat (Rap it Up)

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By Twinkle VanFleet

Diversity by Twinkle VanFleet

Trip, slip, low to high,
They could’a killed you,
And you tried to die

Drop a beat,

‘N fuckin’ fly

Trip (Love that pen)
Slip (Fuck it 100 then)
Fly (Fly high over ‘n over again)

Fuck this shit (I’m in)
Just fly
Don’t let it pass by
(Don’t let anything fade by)

Stand out, step up
Dance
Rap it up

Smile (You’ve got that smile)
Laugh (Bring that pain down, awhile)

Break up (Break down)
Put it back together (Slow down)

Choose to live
Choose to die
Shit, just fuck ‘N Fly
It filled you up inside
For that moment you cried to die
(But you ain’t dyin’)

You chose to live (Still flying)
You gave to give (Still riding)
Now you’re chillin’ (Instead of dying) (No one’s dyin’)

You rose up
Yet you was hiding
Now you’re living, again
Instead of dyin’

Stand out, step it up
Dance!
Rap it up

Wrap that shit side up, let it go
Dance
On the reg, on the rise,
During the slip and the slide
Over the side
All alright now,
Deuces high

You know what

Jus’

Smile (Love that smile)
Laugh (Pain down, relaxed)

Rap ‘N Wrap it up (Don’t stumble over it. Shit tho’ gotta rise over it)
High fly, word! ai’ght…

Drop another beat, get on with it.

Rap it up.

All She Wanted

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by Twinkle VanFleet
All she wanted to do is live
All she wanted to do is dance
All she wanted to do is give
Trust in something and forgive

All she wanted was to care
All she wanted was to be
All she wanted for is hope
All she prayed for was the chi

All she wanted was to love
All she wanted was to rise
All she wanted was for them
And be cherished in his eyes

Twinkle V March 16.16 -2

All she needed was to survive
All she wanted was to keep dancing
If not in body; soul, heart and mind
All she needed was to be worth having

All she knew was a world ahead
All she gave was it’s pain
All she meant was to take it away
In His name, she did pray

Pain, passion, purpose. Deuces High
Stronger Than Pain to stay alive
Ride, die or fly
Simpli(y) justified.

Twinkle VanFleet: ~TVa Sig

The Opposite of Fear is Faith

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Image Credit by Ozra

Is it? I think that’s a truth statement, mostly. Fear is defined as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc.,whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. One definition of Faith is defined as confidence or trust in a person or thing; belief in anything. Without having something to believe in, to add light to darkness, or hope in pain, change, love there really can’t be either. Yin and Yang. It takes one to have the other. It also takes commitment to oneself. Believing in ourselves when no one else does. Saving our own lives, if we must.

“One betrayal costs a hundred devotions. One deception sacrifices ten loyalties. One misconception is the price paid toward assumptions and against each other”. ~Dyversiti

The struggle has been real and it’s been hard, but no one has really known that but me. I feel like the 5 years forward I’ve come (and the 10 years it took to get the there) has led 15 years backwards. I’m not physically or emotionally well and trying so very hard to not have a bitter heart. ‘Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do”. I’ve always continued to love and care, and.. forgive even when the pain was on me because I was #StrongerThanPain and I was stronger because fear and faith ran simultaneously through me, always.

In Theology, Grace is defined as the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God; the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them. The Grace of God has been with me all the while. I’m already flawless in his eyes. Yet I fear… yes I fear, my journey has only just begun. Faith will evenly carry me through it. Hope is seemingly unconditional, but hope is conditional upon others, energy, an action.

BELIEVE

by Twinkle VanFleet

WITHOUT HOPE,

WE WOULD HAVE NOTHING TO PRAY FOR-

WITHOUT FAITH,

WE WOULD HAVE NOTHING TO BELIEVE IN,

WITHOUT LIFE AND DEATH,

WE WOULD HAVE NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO-

WITHOUT GOD,

WE WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTHING AT ALL.

Dependent on medication management, I was. I still am, yet I’m not actually taking any pain relieving medication at all. It’s easier to send someone off to mental health than it is to understand that sometimes, usually, those meds give back life, instead of take it away. And in my case it did both.

Ohana (For Dr. Earl Bakken)

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by Twinkle VanFleet

Twinkle VanFleet 2015 Bakken Invitation Award Honoree_1

Front and back

He validated the spirit
And it’s heart
And restored the breath
Of a nearing depart

Acknowledging the path
And it’s hope
Diversity rising
It’s a slippery slope

Catching the reason
Determination and light
In giving to others
The fire and flight

for…

Life, love, and empathy
We have to discuss
Drowning
Counting
On all of us

7, 8, 9
Losing time
Sharing
Your paradigm

Break down,
Nothing on me
Fight and fall,
Nope pain can’t stop she

Crazy, maybe, perception
Not really though
Trinity, affinity
Visions and missions to lead for

She’s rising,
They know she(‘s) flying
As above, so below
The gift of devising

Got you
Got us
Got me
superfluous

Honi; spirit and power
The honoring art
Ha; the breath of life
A spiritual kiss of the hearts

Who could have known
It wasn’t alone
Ohana means family
Family is home.

For Dr. Earl Bakken, Medtronic Philanthropy, #LiveOnGiveOn

With love and admiration on behalf of myself and #iPain www.powerofpain.org

Mahalo

©2016 Twinkle VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/ May be shared. Permission required for any other use.

Ohana means family. Family means no one left behind… or forgotten.

Just One More Step

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By Twinkle VanFleet

My baby son and I- West Sacramento- Spring, 1997

I fight, you fight,
We fight together.
You fight, I fight,
We win forever.

“Just one more step, Mama!
Just one more step”
The little voice echoed,
Made it over the doorstep.

Let go, let go!
Neighbors gathered around,
She spread her wings,
The sticks hit the ground.

The little boy beamed,
In the crowd of praise.
Flying solo,
Because of him, she prayed.

I fight, you fight..
For that one more step!
You fought, I fought!
Haven’t stopped yet.

(Hook)
Step up, step down,
Step in, step out,
Step to, step from,
Just one more step Mama!
Just one more step!
Step it up, Step!
Just one more step Mama
Just one more step.

Just one

one

Just one more

(Chorus)
I fight, you fight
We fight together
You fight, I fight
We win forever

(Fight! we fightin’ it)

(Fight it)

(Just one more)

(All it takes)

(Just that one)

I fight, you fight..
For that one more step,
You fought, I fought
Haven’t stopped yet.

(Still fighting)

(Steppin’)

(You Steppin’)

(Just one more step, mine)

We haven’t stopped yet

Twinkle VanFleet and son Ozra #NERVEmber 14, 2014

#NERVEmber 14, 2014 Power of Pain Foundation National P.A.I.N Summit

This quote has been on the internet for over a decade. It originated from my 3 year old son. I carried those words online. They came from the mouth of a babe for his mama (me). On the internet it’s ©Kurtis V. Kurtis V is Kurtis VanFleet a.k.a Kurtis Ozie, Ozie and Ozra.