Always More

Is “always more” negative or just truthful?

It’s a matter of perspective, I suppose. It’s truthful for all of us.

My physical fumble is still in progress and I’m managing that as well as I can.

I’ve mentioned over the years that we didn’t have hot running water for 7 years. On Halloween 2020 it was finally fixed.

The week before Christmas it took a dump again. We didn’t notice there was a problem right away. I had got in the bath and the hot water was colder quickly. We thought that was because the washing machine was in use at the same time using hot water as well. 2 nights later I was trying to soak in heat again. Same thing. Husband had went out back to check it. Ugh! It had been dumping hot water for sometime. It’s been off since, and until we can repair or replace it. Our SMUD bill increased from an average of $140 mo to $400 for 2 consecutive billing cycles. And last week here comes the water bill that averaged $30 this time of year to $250. Well sh*t! It is what it is though.

This isn’t even half of the “always more”.

It is still a blessing to have learned all those other years how to manage living without what most people take for granted.

I’m not even going to mention what else has happened simultaneously because it’ll sound like a cry story and my purpose for sharing this bit is no one really knows what others endure. We rarely do for each other.

We’re all fighting battles on top of battles. For me, getting through them without losing myself is the cornerstone of faith.

My faith is strong and so am I.

Yesterday, Valentine’s Day was the 6th painiversary of that first suicide attempt. I basically spent the day mumbling LaLalalalah, as not to let bad memories slip in and turn it into a depressing day. I made us a nice dinner on Sunday. Yesterday was a work day for husband anyway and so Sunday, like for many, was the day we acknowledged Valentine’s.

I stared taking Cat’s Claw a week or so ago. Devil’s Claw, I’ve used several times and it is helpful for pain conditions. Una de Gato has great benefits too. In some aspects, more. I’ll write more about my experiences with it and it’s benefits soon.

I’m not currently getting in much of my music movement therapy. Hopefully more again soon. I’ve maintained my weight loss yet haven’t lost much more. I’m still at about the 40 pound loss.

I hadn’t worn pants since mid December. The pants I finally got back into a few months ago I dreaded putting back on. I was worried they wouldn’t fit again because my fitness time decreased. I tried them on Saturday. They’re fine, and even a bit looser.

Later next month will be a year since I began the low carbs. Minus 40 in a year is still good. I know some people who’ve lost 100 in a year. Amazing!

I’m up to 631 consecutive days of learning Spanish via Duolingo app. A couple of months ago I started with The Language Tutor via YouTube, and I’m re watching La Reina del Sur in Spanish. I finished the novela months back, but decided to watch it again.

In 3 days, I’ll be 3 years and a month alcohol free even through the storms that just keep coming. I’ve proven to myself I don’t need it to get through CRPS or the roller coasters of life but it’s really hard on the days my physical self hurts too greatly and there’s little I can do but wait it out.

Still facing it and still making.

Mas fuerte que el dolor

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s