Former smoker

There’s hardly anything left to change about myself anymore. Evolve is all thats left.

About 6 weeks ago, I decided it was time to stop smoking. I know, I know, bad habit.

I had ceased smoking for over a year about a decade ago, and again for more than half a year in the same few years. I used Chantix, yet that wasn’t an option this time.

If I could get through the last 6 years without doctors, treatments, medications, and give up drinking for over 3 years now, I could surely do this.

I have! Today’s my 6th day done.

No going back.

I weaned myself lower and lower, and I had tried a generic patch. I don’t recommend that. It hardly made any difference. I used Nic lozenges and those were helpful enough to cut down, not quit.

I’d have to rely on self control and hope that all the work I’ve done for myself over the years to keep intractable pain, major depressive disorder and anxiety disorders stable would benefit me for this, as well.

I didn’t want to become frustrated and give up. At one point I thought I chose the wrong time to try. Too much going on simultaneously. I ended up in a flare, and that made trying harder some days.

What do smokers do in pain and under stress? Smoke! Ugh!

On March 14th, I began NicoDerm patches. March 15th was my last Cig. On the second day, I wasn’t sure yet if I’d achieve this. It already felt harder than quitting drinking had been. Then again I wasn’t a drinker like I was a smoker. Not even close. On the 3rd day, I had more confidence again.

My daughter had left me the remainder of her vape. I have it on hand. I’ve minimally used it. Its like a security blanket. Just being there makes any mental aspect easier.

I won’t be replacing cigarettes with the vape. This is only for now. It makes no sense for me to replace nicotine with nicotine in the long run. Not my goal at all. I know that people have done this, and I would never take that from them. I’m proud of them for making there own change. For me though I want to be entirely done with any type of smoking. I don’t even smoke cannabis.

I’ve used it, I’m not a user of it. I’m a mini hitter quitter. Ha! I can’t tolerate it like most can. A pinch of edible occasionally. That’s it!

The most I’ve gotten out of it is muscle relief at times, or sleep. It doesn’t help me otherwise.

People are always trying to push the weed my way. No thank you. When I lost pain care, I got my California certification to use it medicinally. I tried several types, edibles, flower, pens, cbd, cbd thc combo, etc. I let my certification expire because the benefit wasn’t better than being high. We’ve become legal for recreational usage since so I still have access if need be.

I’m trying to face life not have another escape from it.

We’re all on our own journey. It’s the best thing there is for some, and not for others.

I started NicoDerm with Step 2 instead of the first step. My intake was less than half pack a day. Some people still smoke while using the patches during wean down. I didn’t this time. I dislike the term “suck it up” yet that’s exactly what I had to do. I just needed to get through those first couple of days. Anyones last cig day is probably the same.

Hand/mouth part of the habit can be rough. Years of repetitive actions. Same thing over and over again. My husband got me some dum dum suckers to help with that. I’ve had a few, but I’m not needing to sit or move around with a sucker between my lips all day. I think I just wanted it because it was a sucker more than for that habit itself.

When I had quit smoking previously I referred to myself as a former smoker instead of a non smoker. I felt non smoker took away from the true non smokers. Those who’ve never smoked at all.

Former is good for me.

Feliz lunes a todas!

Binaural Beats for Pain, Stress, Anxiety, and Depression

It can be difficult to manage stress and anxiety with chronic and intractable illnesses.

I’ve been practicing stress reduction for decades now, yet I’ve not mastered it, entirely.

Meditation, deep breathing, shifting focus, distraction, so much more.

I’ve done well to keep myself from any type of mental breakdowns since the major ones that had occurred. It’s a constant challenge to stay on top of my well-being.

My body does react negatively still. Pain syndromes cause pain of course and stress will causes even more. When depression slips in it becomes a total mind and body assault that’s difficult to cope with.

One thing I’ve changed for the better is breathing. That’s been for several years now. It did take some time for that. I always had a tendency to hyperventilate during extreme pain. The first time I experienced that, I was 19 and giving birth to my first baby girl. I was in distress, and my unborn baby was experiencing my stress to the point the doctor attached a fetal monitor to her tiny head while she was still inside me.

Labor hurts! I had her naturally and it was painful. My second daughter who was born 12 months later? Epidural! Part of me wants to laugh at that, and part of me is saddened by it. I was afraid of that pain again. My rainbow baby boy who was born 9 years later, I chose natural again. I could do it! I would do it! He sustained a birth injury, a Pars defect, fairly common I’ve read,, and the cord was wrapped around his neck and body. I’m so glad they didn’t tell me that, I most likely would’ve panicked and caused him further injury.

I’ve shared Binaural Beats here before, many years ago. They can be a helpful tool in managing ourselves. If nothing else there’s calm and peace in listening.

Similar to Lavender or Camomile Epsoms salt soaks. It doesn’t always take pain away but it’s relaxing, soothing, and the aroma therapy from it is calming, too. Therefore worth the soak.

If you’re not familiar with Binaural Beats, I’m including a few links to try them.

Binaural beats

Stress and anxiety
Depression relief

Sutter Health

Stress and anxiety relief

Deep healing
Repairs and heals DNA level
Frequency healing

Binaural beats are essential in body healing: an illness will indirectly be healed using binaural beats. However, from scientific studies, there is a thin line between physical and mental health. The physical body will be naturally stronger and healthier after mental health has been promoted.

Natural Healing Society

My own pain is currently heightened. It’s also raining which causes arthritis to flare up with CRPS. My legs and feet have the deep bone and muscle aches, and burning intensified, yet since taking Cat’s Claw, I’ve only blown up with swelling and discoloration twice in the top of my feet to the point my shoes didn’t fit for a bit each time. That part is amazing. My heels are inflamed. That hurts all by itself. Heel spurs. It’s like walking on broken glass. I haven’t much learned how to relieve that. My orthotics do help some for the Plantar Fasciitis, Tarsal Tunnel, and Achilles Tendonitis. It takes a couple hours upon waking to ease down. By 5:00 p.m. my feet have had enough again. I’m glad I got enough weight off my body to wear them.

I’m hopeful that as I continue to take Cat’s Claw the benefits will increase.

Binaural beats are in my ears right now.

Wishing you all pain eased days and nights.