The Rink

It’s been nearly 4 months since I first started the Gohl Program and underwent Manual Ligament Therapy (MLT) developed by Arik Gohl. You can check out my Case Study Documentation or my uncut documented sessions at Gohl Program TV on YouTube.

I had never skated with my 11 year old grandson. My own son who’ll turn 20 next month has no recollection of ever experiencing anything like that with me. I did take him when he was 2 and his sisters were pre teens, but only I have that memory for him. Ozra was 3 when the injury happened that led to my CRPS. Our girls were 11 and 12.

Night before last we went to pick up our grandson and we went skating. Next time it will be both he and Ozra with our girls, and a few others.

We shared on Facebook Live where I did fall in front of everyone, and I did get back up to try again. Here we are, hand in hand, (Pink blouse up against rail).

I never made it around the rink, but I made it onto the rink several times. I watched as people did all the things I once could also. Speed skate, skate backwards, dance skate. I use to love playing red light green light.

I might not be able to do any of those again, but one day, I will make it around the rink at least once.

No inline skating for me, not now, sometimes you have to start with 4 wheels.

Without MLT this would have never been possible.

 

 

 

 

Highs and Lows

I reactivated Facebook and my posts were all positive highs. My lows would come eventually and they did. 4 days ago I began weaning myself from the 30 of Cymbalta to 15, I had already reduced from 60 to 30. I’ll never know until I’m completely off of it again if my choice to do so can be a positive outcome. After more than a half dozen times in less than 2 years of abrupt discontinuation and what the brain itself goes through just to get through it, I have no idea if I’ll ever be what I was before ever starting it over a decade ago. Perhaps I should not have allowed anyone to put me back on it for nerve damage/depression after I was off it for nearly 6 months in 2016. Cymbalta is a Selective Serotonin Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor.

https://www.drugs.com/cymbalta.html

http://www.fda.gov/Safety/MedWatch/SafetyInformation/SafetyAlertsforHumanMedicalProducts/ucm150748.htm

When we consider that the chemicals in our brains are altered by the use of these medications, common sense dictates an effect, adverse or otherwise, when removing them from our bodies. The natural chemicals have to work again, or not. It’s not so simple, but it’s understood.

My husband has been in failing health for years. Finally, I think he’s taken to heart the importance of what he can do for himself with or without myself to prevent further illness and even restore that which has already declined.

Sometimes it’s takes doing something profound to make a profound difference. ~Twinkle EKV

Don’t worry my friends it may seem like something is wrong but on the contrary everything is quite right or where it should be right now.

I promised my kids that if I ever felt like going where I had before, I’d do one thing. I did. I kept that promise and they kept theirs. That’s reestablishing trust and commitment.

I’m a little too smart, and a little too dumb to let an opportunity to help someone else pass us by. That’s okay because I love being both.

If I stopped talking about it all the purpose in the purpose itself would fade. That would mean that there would be no impact to make to show people they can physically heal, and when they heal, those emotions can also.

Somebody asked me if I still have a job..

Yes I do,

Until I don’t.

spiritual-healing-image-words-image-source-manifistation-divine

Image Source: Manifestation Divine

Packing and Praying

I messaged my son earlier and I asked him to pray for me. I said “Please pray for me that I can do the work and be strong enough to go on with it”. He replied “Always do mom”. I said “Thank you”.

My recent Twitter posts were meant to be known and while I could have held back on the potty mouth it wasn’t all that necessary. Why? Truth. Because that’s the reality in it all. I have my dead daddy’s mouth and while I didn’t use those words when he was alive or even in the first 20 years after he left us I’m sort of proud that it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It only matters that I don’t drop those words if I want not to. It’s not beneath me otherwise. Why? Because I’m not above anyone.

Ozra is coming to pick me up on Saturday. We’re going to get this hair cut off. Yep. Most all of it. Short. Most likely to my shoulders or layered down a little farther. If there’s enough without going shorter, I’ll leave it with our girl who owns the shop to donate it.

I leave California the next day for awhile.

Threw some things away today, did dishes, cleaned up, and started packing.

Taking a break right now. I do still use my pennies carefully, but I don’t run out as quickly and that’s a good thing.

I posted about guilt some. The one thing I feel most bad about is not being able to work sooner to fix things before they got so out of hand. Carrying it all is heavy. If one person can’t carry it someone else has to. I did and I will. I have to.

I never stepped away from God and I never stopped praying. I did stop believing in hope even though I continued to be hopeful for one day.

I’ve always known I’d have to live it hard to understand it. Understand what pain is, poverty, loss, and rejection. To love so deeply that it hurts. That’s why I understand that people sometimes have to choose roads that another would never go down and many pretend don’t even exist.

I’m not looking for an easy life yet I’m hoping there’s at least an easier one out there. Hard is good. We learn. Too hard can have devastating circumstances, consequences that can’t be taken back.

My mom said “The reason you’ve gone through it all is because you have a place in heaven”.

I don’t deserve heaven.

heaven

But maybe she’s right.

New Years Eve

My family spent the evening together. It was a last minute, unplanned, lets go out for a bit. Mama’s idea! We had no plans other than to grandson sit if our daughter had any. Ozra didn’t have any evening plans, and Erika a.k.a Erykah had an event to work at 10:00 p.m. I haven’t been out for New Years Eve or New Years Day for many years beyond our children’s home and most years I just slept midnight away. I didn’t want to leave our 10 year old grandson behind and while I might like to party, I don’t. I chose a spot where De’Mantai Xayvier could enjoy the night with us. And that’s what we did. Erik (Massah), Kharisma Anna Magdalena (Maggie), Erykah (Rikki) (and Dan), Ozra (Kurtis) and Austin.

twinklev-and-demantai-xayvier-howard-new-years-eve

Nana and Grandson

Hard to keep up on our names? I know. Kharisma was named after me. Odd right? When I was growing up everyone told me I had a lot of charisma and I was always being told how charismatic I was. I named her for that. And gave her the K. I’ve always liked the unique side of people, places and things, so a C wouldn’t work. I was still a teenager when she was born. I was 18 when I conceived her and she was born when I was 19. Initially our second daughter was to be named Destynee, but I named her after her daddy instead. Erik –> Erika. Our son was to be Atreyu (Son of All) but I named him after his Dad and great great grandfather. Erik Kurtis –> Kurtis Ozra (Ozie). I gave the name Atreyu to another, later. De’Mantai is known as ‘Tai. And then me, I’m called Twink by my family and close friends, but my toddler childhood nickname that I’m still called often and publicly is Ooie. Pronounced 00 ee. oo-ee baby! Then there’s Twinks, Twinkles, and a few others.

So we gathered together for a bit and was home fairly early by 10:00 p.m. Earlier in the day we went home so I could grab that Cymbalta. Being off it was too much! At first I wanted to call it quits since I hadn’t taken it at all in 2 days because I had forgotten to bring it. I’m like, I got this! Well I didn’t. That crap is the devil. At first I only took the 30 mg, but it didn’t stop the feeling of jumping in and out of myself. It’s a hard experience. So about an hour later I took the other 30 and within 2 hours I was feeling better. So today I continued on the 60 and tomorrow I’ll go back to the 30 and hope for the best. I think about 10 days or so to be off it again. My cold is getting better, still have it, but not like it was. Phew! My shoulder is off and on again. Much better than just on.

Going back home this evening after an extended stay at our kids this week. Stayed a little longer because I wanted to minimize becoming sicker for longer when I have things to get ready for. Plus the toilet is torn apart in our bathroom, pulled the entire toilet from the ground and still needed more parts to try to fix the issue. Have those parts now so the man can work on it when we get home. Other repairs and replacements should only take a couple of months. Yay! Once that’s done, I’ll explain and share how other seemingly “impossible’s” are possible.

And with that, you might understand more clearly the last 3 years.

You’ll either be surprised, disturbed or dumbfounded.

 

In any event,

You might finally get it in it’s entirety. No matter how much I’ve told, left open to interpretation or slipped up on, I’ve never laid it all out for what it’s been.

 

In this New Year, I will.

Happy 2017

twinklev-rsdcrpsfire-new-years-eve-resized

#StrongerThanPain

 

 

 

 

 

Gohl Program | Thank you!

Last year, I can barely recall Christmas. There’s a few pieces and parts, some of it I’m blessed to remember other parts I’m blessed that I’ve forgotten or have chose not to remember.

8 weeks ago I was at the Gohl Program‘s healing retreat in Loomis, California. Sacramento to most people. 5 days of Manual Ligament Therapy, also known as MLT. 16 years after the injury that led to the 2003 diagnosis of CRPS type 2 and subsequent diagnosis’  since.

If you follow my story, you might understand. I’m so proud of my babies and our grandson.

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Rikki, Ozra, Kharisma and De’Mantai

This Christmas ..

Thank you Arik Gohl, Dr. Ed Glaser and Monica Depriest.

There wasn’t a cane, or walking stick. No wheel chair, and no laying down in between family affairs of Christmas.

 

twinklev-rsdcrpsfire-with-grandson-demantai-xayvier-h-xmas-2016

My grandson De’Mantai (‘Tai) and I.

I can’t wait until next year.

x

Unicorn

Unicorn
by Rosie Broyles Tresca

unicorn-horse-head-with-a-horn-and-wings_318-48956

I am a unicorn

People call me beautiful but never really see me

I am iridescence

changing at every blink and angle

I am newly cut glass

extremely fragile but always shining through

I am a rose

scents that lure you with thorns that prick

I am better

happy and never going back

I am a unicorn, beautiful and real

©2016 Rosie Broyles Tresca. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

Written by my little sister and used with permission.

The Last 6 Weeks in Review

justlive

It’s been 6 weeks since I completed the Gohl Program. This post will share progress and setbacks since returning from the healing retreat. Hard times dictate choices. A week after returning I lost 3 puppies. 2 of them, I held until they took their last breaths. One of them I held all day. Both of them I gave my own breath to to try to save them. I lost them 12 hours a part, so those 3 days were intense. My son’s car was stolen out of his driveway with important gear in the trunk. It was located abandoned the next day but without the safe.

My mom and dads home burned down.

News 3 Exclusive

Vietnam veteran, wife and granddaughter lose Harris County home in fire
@Ashley_G_WRBL
Published: December 2, 2016, 6:40 pm Updated: December 5, 2016, 9:51 am

Don Tresca Vietnam Vet house Fire (Please share)

https://www.gofundme.com/dbxzr5rw?ssid=835607202&pos=2

My daughter’s liver is still unstable and with little to do for it. She’s been a patient at the Liver Transplant center at Stanford for awhile now and is being sent to their pain management for care.

My husband was cleared for knee surgery though we’re still waiting on scheduling.

In the midst of it all, I’m trying to maintain reductions in pain with physical movement, stretching, and all those things I need to do to recover and strengthen myself further.

Right now, I’m doggie sitting and have been since Monday. Aloha and Gaia came home. They’re Ohana’s brother and sister. They were born on Valentine’s Day, hours after I was admitted to the hospital. They were named from me having just returned from Hawaii a month before. Mahalo and Cupid are no longer with us. Aloha was renamed Legend by his new family and Gaia was renamed Bella. They’ve been together all along and came home as if they never left. They knew their birth place, they knew their den. They were both also reunited with their mother, Oreo. Aloha and Gaia sleep at my head, Ohana sleeps behind my knees, Lilly flower in the crook of my neck and Independence at my feet. Yep full twin bed. Freedom, Amo, and Oreo with my husband.

My CRPS legs and feet are still doing fairly well for what they had become all the years prior and for what they’re becoming. Pain in my arm is much better than before. There really isn’t anything wrong with my arm, directly, it’s referred pain and symptoms from my back, spine. Nerve roots and all that blah blah. I can feel the tug of the curves in my spine and it’s still sort of depressing because I don’t know how to reverse the errors in my own body anymore than I know how to correct the mistakes in healthcare that could have potentially eased it if it had been addressed. The only time my back effects my legs is when those bones shift.

I don’t think most will ever realize the difference in pain levels before and after MLT. That even with these issues the impact of learning what to do for ourselves and how we can decrease additional pain and symptoms simply by a therapy rather than by medication or injections.

After the California International Marathon I was down a few days but that was because I attempted a walk I hadn’t done in 16 years. These few days however wasn’t the week + that activity, events, walking, standing, movement or even stress would have previously caused.

It’s not easy my friends, but it’s getting easier. I don’t have pain medication to turn to for chronic or even an acute situation and I’ve flat out never cheated taking any even when they were in my reach. February will be a year without medication management for pain and related symptoms.

I use sublingual oil and gummies, medicinal, on occasion. I’ve also used Kratom, which has no more risk than opioids when used responsibly.

I still haven’t turned my SCS back on. Not because I didn’t need it a few times but because I’m struggling to not want to need anything. I’m still not using my ASV. I still have no plans on ever being put in a scoliosis brace and I’m still not considering corrective surgery for it.

Wanna live? Don’t rely on others to fulfill it for you.

“Do not ask the stones or the trees how to live, they can not tell you ; they do not have tongues; do not ask the wise man how to live for, if he knows , he will know he cannot tell you; if you would learn how to live , do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so.”

Page 9  ~Magicians of Gor