Simply Stable

It remains difficult to manage life with so many illnesses. It does! I often refer to myself as “stable”. It’s the best term I have to describe “not suicidal.”

Stable is a good thing! Even when the struggle is heavy. Yes, indeed, its a good thing.

Few people can relate to physical pain so intense that you lose your mind. Most can only relate to their own level of severe and thats perfectly okay. Imagine your severe, and have that severity, rarely ever stop, and see if that wouldn’t put a major dent in your entire existence.

The amount of work I’ve put in the last 18 months surely helped, yet didn’t bring any of it to a halt.

I’ve put in this “work” many times before. It’s all work, everyday, and then there’s extra work. Just trying is work. And then you have to “be able to” in the first place.

Pain hurts! It’s not as simple as many believe it should be. It’s not! All these things people think if we did, we’d be fine, is a form of false hope. It can be detrimental to force onto others “if they only did this” it could be all better. But since they won’t do it, or complain about it they must NOT want to get better. That’s not true! Perhaps there’s a few people out there that might apply to, but seriously not accurate for most of us.

Its a nice way to nudge someone into depression or raise their anxiety by guilt shaming them. After all, if they only tried.

How TF you know if they tried or not, or how much they’ve put in? You really don’t.

No wonder so many people feel badly about themselves. Worthless. Not measuring up. That’s not going to help them heal in any kind of way.

I prefer to love and care for people where they are. At all times. I know too deeply what it feels like to be judged, discarded, and thought lowly of.

It took 6 months again for my shoulder and cervical spine to finally ease down. During that time there were several instances that I thought it was near the end of its course. It wasn’t. The music movement therapy I’d been consistently doing at least 3 days a week, and sometimes 5 became less and less. The last time I completed a 3 day week was in early May with 1 day in last week.

My lumbar spine hasn’t slipped in nearly a year. Thank you, Jesus.

My neck and shoulder hadn’t been this bad since Manual Ligament Therapy nearly 6 years ago.

While that pain is wonderfully decreased currently, and has been for 2 months now, my neck is often swollen. Noticeable and embarrassing at times.

CRPS – I get days where my feet look great! I’ve had extreme edema, and discoloration more times than I could count. 1000s. It’s nearing 22 years since the injuries that caused it. There’s also a half dozen other significant problems in that foot alone. The other foot is better, yet has issues, too. Orthotics help when I can tolerate wearing them. Aligning my spine and posture is a major plus. Unfortunately the times when my feet swell, I can’t put them on, there’s no room to even try to force them and push through it.

There’s been times when swelling moderately existed, but not severely and I did wear them anyway. My feet already feel as if they’re being crushed, so all that does is really crush them. I have to learn to back off.

I have my own psychological hangup caused by others. “I must not be trying hard enough, and I must not want to get better”.

I wake each day full body swollen. My face, beyond puffy. It takes an hour or two every morning to be able to move about without that pain. I start moving myself immediately upon waking. The first walk to the kitchen is the toughest, feels horrible, and seems to take forever. Swelling may decrease throughout the day, even my appearance is better, and then the inflammation happens in my sleep it seems, and I wake to it all again, each and every day.

I’m still using Cat’s Claw.

I just had my soberversary 2 days ago. 3 years and 6 months alcohol free and 5 days ago, 4 months tobacco free.

Neither has made much of a difference in any overall pain related quality of life.

Still happy I stopped them tho.

I’m not doing well, nor am I doing badly. I’m managing.

I’m simply stable.

Made it to Georgia for Mama

My dad had just died a couple of weeks before. He passed away at home on Memorial Day. My mama was critical in ICU again, and not expected to make it. I hadn’t been able to reach Dad in time, nor attend his funeral. My Auntie, who was also my God Mother, was both holding on and passing away at the same time.

My brother in law sent me a ticket that would leave Sacramento June 28th, 2022. I had just a few day to ready myself. I would travel light, a small carry on backpack, the clothes I was wearing, 1 leggings, overall shorts, and a couple t-shirts, and camis to rotate.

Something incredible happened. 2 days before I’d board the plane, mama woke up.

And she was home by the time I got there. Instead of a visit that would’ve been spent by her side in the hospital, filled with uncertainty and grief, was overflowing with gratitude and grace.

Mother and Daughter – Stronger Than Pain

My sister and her husband did all they could to get me there. No one had this type of money. The ticket was over $600. I hadn’t seen my sister in person in 20 years.

Sisters – Annie and Twinkle

I really didn’t know how I’d physically make this trip, only that God always knows in advance everything, and all the extra physical therapy I’d been doing the many months prior would benefit me. The weight I’d lost would help me weight bare better, and I could do it, I had to.

I was more worried about my cognitive dysfunction. I made notes of everything I’d do, including “possibilities”, such as getting lost, or my legs giving out.

My daughter Rikki was driving from Michigan to pick me up at Atlanta and drive us to Manchester where Mama lives. She stayed with and took me back to the airport for my flight home.

My son Ozra had food and supplies delivered the day before I boarded. He bought my regulation backpack, jump battery for my phone, cash for airport coffee, and food if I needed.

Rikki would pay for anything I needed in GA. She bought me CBD honey sticks for pain. Grateful for my kids and everyone who helped me manage this.

Daughter and Mother- Rikki and Twinkle

I was there for my dad’s month anniversary and visited his resting place. It’ll also be where mama will be someday.

Dad – Don Marino Tresca

Breaks my heart that my God Mama went to heaven on June 28th while I was in the air. She still hasn’t been laid to rest yet.

I flew back home July 3rd.

I haven’t really begun to grieve. I know these things have happened, but it was all too close together. Couldn’t really process them as they were occurring. There wasn’t even any room for that.

My Mama is a miracle, and having reached her in time is another.

That’s my focus!

Thank you, Jesus!

Father’s Day – 2 Daddy’s in Heaven

My Dad passed away at home on Memorial Day. It seemed fitting, as many said, for a Vietnam Hero and wounded warrior.

When I wrote last he had just been diagnosed with cancer during a 9 day hospital stay. 2 days before Mother’s Day he was taken back for a mild heart attack. On Mother’s Day, my mom who was at the hospital with him had a severe heart attack and was rushed to the cath lab immediately. She underwent stent repair, replacement and additional stents were added. She has 7 now. She spent several days in ICU while dad was on the cardiac unit.

My mom has had a pacemaker for several years now. The doctors said her heart cannot be fixed anymore. Ever. She’s had at least a half dozen heart attacks now, and 3 or 4 in just the last 2 years.

During that time we learned Dads cancer was stage 4, and had already spread. He made it home for a day, and was taken to his chemo appt, where an ambulance was called and was admitted again. He finally made it back home to pass away. He was gone just a few days later.

When mom was discharged after 6 days they wouldn’t let her return to the hospital to be with him. Due to her own health, they said. She was so scared, and unwell. But for him.

There’s a couple blessings in this heartache. One is that mom was in the hospital when she collapsed with her heart attack, it saved her life. The other is that Dad did make it back home to pass on with her with her by his side.

The thought and possibly of them being separated in his death was devastating.

I wasn’t able to be there for them. I’m in California and they’re in Georgia. I wasn’t able to attend his services or burial, and that’ll forever tug my heart.

Between the cost of a plane ticket, averaging a $1000 at the time, and my physical ability, or rather inability the obstacles became larger. I kept thinking if funds were available I could do the trip but it would have to be from here. Prices were coming down some, but that was flying out of San Francisco (always cheaper that way) instead of Sacramento where I reside. Frisco is 90 minutes to 2 hours away. Traffic can add hours to that, and Bay area traffic can be rough. It would have taken me 12 hours or about (flight and travel) just to get to Atlanta GA, and then another 90 minute car ride to get to my parents home in Manchester. Not counting any layover or plane transfers.

If I could have gotten on a plane in Sacramento on a non stop flight that would have assisted my physical obstacles to manage getting there but those were the expensive tickets. If a caregiver accompanied me that of course would be double the cost. It was all out of reach.

I’m praying with all my heart tickets come down enough that I might still be able to make it there in the next months to see my mom. I already know that if I can somehow, that it’ll be the last time in this life I’ll ever see her. I’ve been trying to come to terms with that.

But more so that I’ll never see her again anyway since her heart is in that bad of condition, and the loss of dad has her in deep depression as well. I have to prepare myself in advance.

This Father’s Day, both of my Dad’s are in heaven. Lauren Wood 1991, and Don Tresca 2022.

One is my birth dad, and the second is my dad not by blood, but by love. Technically Don was my step dad, but has been just dad too for nearly 25 years.

Breaks my heart that my mama has been widowed twice now.

Some children never had a dad at all. How incredibly blessed I am to have had 2 of them.

Rest in peace and love. Best Dads ever!!!

Heartache and Happiness

In just the last few weeks both my auntie, who’s also my God Mother, and my Dad, my second dad, has been diagnosed with cancer.

My aunts came quickly. Confirmation that is. Metastasized full body. Seemingly quickly, I should say, it’s been there spreading to get to stage 4 like this. Doctors dismissed her complaints as whining. She’s on hospice at this time, and is declining rapidly.

We just learned of Dad a few days ago after a 9 day hospital stay. Small cell carcinoma lung cancer. We don’t know what stage yet.

My birth dad died of lung cancer in the 25th year of marriage with my mom.

My mom’s husband now was also her high school sweetheart before she met my birth dad. I’m so happy that after we lost my dad, she found the man who’s been my dad the last 25 years. My birth dad died when I was 22. This Dad has been an amazing husband to my mom, and wonderful dad to my sister and I, even though for me its at a distance.

A year ago docs said his lungs were fine.

I have anger because I don’t believe they fail to see spots, shadows, cancer in scans. They just don’t tell us earlier on. Call me paranoid but I don’t even care. Healthcare is a shitshow. Thats all it is. And people die because of it. Heartbreaking for aunties children and grands.

I’m trying to stay focused on all the good around me. Tone down emotions of worry and grief so I can be okay, too. So that stress doesn’t instigate my conditions. But of course, its occurring. I can’t reach my parents, they’re in Georgia, I’m in California.

I stay praying Dad still has time.

There’s both heartache and happiness. Happiness for all the love.

My daughter Rikki will be here Tuesday from Michigan. It’ll most likely be the last time she sees auntie.


Former smoker

There’s hardly anything left to change about myself anymore. Evolve is all thats left.

About 6 weeks ago, I decided it was time to stop smoking. I know, I know, bad habit.

I had ceased smoking for over a year about a decade ago, and again for more than half a year in the same few years. I used Chantix, yet that wasn’t an option this time.

If I could get through the last 6 years without doctors, treatments, medications, and give up drinking for over 3 years now, I could surely do this.

I have! Today’s my 6th day done.

No going back.

I weaned myself lower and lower, and I had tried a generic patch. I don’t recommend that. It hardly made any difference. I used Nic lozenges and those were helpful enough to cut down, not quit.

I’d have to rely on self control and hope that all the work I’ve done for myself over the years to keep intractable pain, major depressive disorder and anxiety disorders stable would benefit me for this, as well.

I didn’t want to become frustrated and give up. At one point I thought I chose the wrong time to try. Too much going on simultaneously. I ended up in a flare, and that made trying harder some days.

What do smokers do in pain and under stress? Smoke! Ugh!

On March 14th, I began NicoDerm patches. March 15th was my last Cig. On the second day, I wasn’t sure yet if I’d achieve this. It already felt harder than quitting drinking had been. Then again I wasn’t a drinker like I was a smoker. Not even close. On the 3rd day, I had more confidence again.

My daughter had left me the remainder of her vape. I have it on hand. I’ve minimally used it. Its like a security blanket. Just being there makes any mental aspect easier.

I won’t be replacing cigarettes with the vape. This is only for now. It makes no sense for me to replace nicotine with nicotine in the long run. Not my goal at all. I know that people have done this, and I would never take that from them. I’m proud of them for making there own change. For me though I want to be entirely done with any type of smoking. I don’t even smoke cannabis.

I’ve used it, I’m not a user of it. I’m a mini hitter quitter. Ha! I can’t tolerate it like most can. A pinch of edible occasionally. That’s it!

The most I’ve gotten out of it is muscle relief at times, or sleep. It doesn’t help me otherwise.

People are always trying to push the weed my way. No thank you. When I lost pain care, I got my California certification to use it medicinally. I tried several types, edibles, flower, pens, cbd, cbd thc combo, etc. I let my certification expire because the benefit wasn’t better than being high. We’ve become legal for recreational usage since so I still have access if need be.

I’m trying to face life not have another escape from it.

We’re all on our own journey. It’s the best thing there is for some, and not for others.

I started NicoDerm with Step 2 instead of the first step. My intake was less than half pack a day. Some people still smoke while using the patches during wean down. I didn’t this time. I dislike the term “suck it up” yet that’s exactly what I had to do. I just needed to get through those first couple of days. Anyones last cig day is probably the same.

Hand/mouth part of the habit can be rough. Years of repetitive actions. Same thing over and over again. My husband got me some dum dum suckers to help with that. I’ve had a few, but I’m not needing to sit or move around with a sucker between my lips all day. I think I just wanted it because it was a sucker more than for that habit itself.

When I had quit smoking previously I referred to myself as a former smoker instead of a non smoker. I felt non smoker took away from the true non smokers. Those who’ve never smoked at all.

Former is good for me.

Feliz lunes a todas!

Binaural Beats for Pain, Stress, Anxiety, and Depression

It can be difficult to manage stress and anxiety with chronic and intractable illnesses.

I’ve been practicing stress reduction for decades now, yet I’ve not mastered it, entirely.

Meditation, deep breathing, shifting focus, distraction, so much more.

I’ve done well to keep myself from any type of mental breakdowns since the major ones that had occurred. It’s a constant challenge to stay on top of my well-being.

My body does react negatively still. Pain syndromes cause pain of course and stress will causes even more. When depression slips in it becomes a total mind and body assault that’s difficult to cope with.

One thing I’ve changed for the better is breathing. That’s been for several years now. It did take some time for that. I always had a tendency to hyperventilate during extreme pain. The first time I experienced that, I was 19 and giving birth to my first baby girl. I was in distress, and my unborn baby was experiencing my stress to the point the doctor attached a fetal monitor to her tiny head while she was still inside me.

Labor hurts! I had her naturally and it was painful. My second daughter who was born 12 months later? Epidural! Part of me wants to laugh at that, and part of me is saddened by it. I was afraid of that pain again. My rainbow baby boy who was born 9 years later, I chose natural again. I could do it! I would do it! He sustained a birth injury, a Pars defect, fairly common I’ve read,, and the cord was wrapped around his neck and body. I’m so glad they didn’t tell me that, I most likely would’ve panicked and caused him further injury.

I’ve shared Binaural Beats here before, many years ago. They can be a helpful tool in managing ourselves. If nothing else there’s calm and peace in listening.

Similar to Lavender or Camomile Epsoms salt soaks. It doesn’t always take pain away but it’s relaxing, soothing, and the aroma therapy from it is calming, too. Therefore worth the soak.

If you’re not familiar with Binaural Beats, I’m including a few links to try them.

Binaural beats

Stress and anxiety
Depression relief

Sutter Health

Stress and anxiety relief

Deep healing
Repairs and heals DNA level
Frequency healing

Binaural beats are essential in body healing: an illness will indirectly be healed using binaural beats. However, from scientific studies, there is a thin line between physical and mental health. The physical body will be naturally stronger and healthier after mental health has been promoted.

Natural Healing Society

My own pain is currently heightened. It’s also raining which causes arthritis to flare up with CRPS. My legs and feet have the deep bone and muscle aches, and burning intensified, yet since taking Cat’s Claw, I’ve only blown up with swelling and discoloration twice in the top of my feet to the point my shoes didn’t fit for a bit each time. That part is amazing. My heels are inflamed. That hurts all by itself. Heel spurs. It’s like walking on broken glass. I haven’t much learned how to relieve that. My orthotics do help some for the Plantar Fasciitis, Tarsal Tunnel, and Achilles Tendonitis. It takes a couple hours upon waking to ease down. By 5:00 p.m. my feet have had enough again. I’m glad I got enough weight off my body to wear them.

I’m hopeful that as I continue to take Cat’s Claw the benefits will increase.

Binaural beats are in my ears right now.

Wishing you all pain eased days and nights.

Cat’s Claw | uña de gato

I previously mentioned Cat’s Claw. This is a starting point which may be of interest to you. In regards to my CRPS and other chronic illnesses, I’ve found that Cat’s Claw offers a wide array of benefits.

Some of the information claims cures, I’ll not claim a cure because it’s offensive to some who’ve been deemed and diagnosed incurable by western medicine. To me, incurable implies the medical system either doesn’t know how to cure an illness, or doesn’t have enough information themselves to do so. In some cases, perhaps they just don’t want to. Medicine has become a business more than anything else anymore.

Many of my own conditions are incurable. I’d like to believe the cures are out there and I just haven’t found it yet.

Something I’ve often wondered is that, for example, if my CRPS became curable, I’d still be left with the several secondary illnesses either acquired from it, or those seemingly unrelated, yet affected by it.

Believe me when I say its become my mission to relieve them all.

Uncaria tomentosa is a woody vine found in the tropical jungles of South and Central America. It is known as cat’s claw or uña de gato in Spanish because of its claw-shaped thorns. The plant root bark is used in herbalism for a variety of ailments, and is sold as a dietary supplement. Wikipedia

Some references state it can begin working in as little as a few days, others about a month. Like most herbs, roots, and supplements, a month is reasonable.

I’ve taken it approximately 10 days. Day time burning related to CRPS has lightened. As of yet, night time hasn’t relieved. I was able to get my shoes with orthotics inserted back on yesterday, after swelling had increased again the last couple of weeks. Edema and discoloration has been a major part of CRPS this entire 21 years of having it. It can be random or caused by weight bearing. There are times its much better than other times. My shoes are on and went on with ease. At this point it may be a coincidence.

My take away from all the research and watching videos on Cat’s Claw is that its potential is incredible.

A compilation from my notes include:

Inflammation, Improves RA, Osteoarthritis, dialates blood vessels, repairs cellular damage, repairs dna, repairs chemo therapy induced DNA damage, repairs RNA, protects neurons, tumors, diuretic, intestinal complaints, heals wounds, may fight cancer, immune system support. It may fight and inhibit growth in leukemia, promotes healthy white blood cells, lowers high blood pressure, improves various neurological symptoms, inhibits blood clot formation, increases circulation, calcium channel blocker, relaxes blood vessels, immune modulator, Decreases inflammation in the brain. May assist HIV and AIDS, combats herpes, improves digestive problems such as crohns disease, diverticulitis, gastritis, colitis, hemorrhoids, leaky gut, stomach ulcers, parasites, muscle and joint relief, colds and flu relief, antioxidant, antiviral, anti mutagenic, fights viral infections.

I’m highly interested in its ability to repair cellular, and DNA damage.

Its antibacterial, antifungal and antiviral effects have proven particularly effective in combating persistent infections such as Lyme disease, Candida, Eppstein-Barr (glandular fever), herpes, bladder infections, hepatitis, prostatitis, gastritis and Crohn’s disease.Apr 23, 2018

Side effects
Generally well tolerated and considered non toxic. Possible dizziness, diarrhea, nausea.

I haven’t experienced any side effects. Please keep in mind that I’m not taking any pharmaceuticals. I have no idea how it would interact with any. Talk with your doctor or pharmacist before using this.

May interact with other medications
and immune modulating drugs.

Do not use if pregnant, or nursing. Do not give to children without doctor supervision. Discontinue 2 weeks prior to surgery.

If you have Lupus, MS, Parkinsons, bleeding disorders, talk to your doctor before using.

The brand that I purchased is by NOW and cost effective at about $15.

YouTube References

Looking forward to sharing more about this in the coming months and any noted relief or benefits with other illnesses including, but not limited to, Diverticulosis/Diverticulitis, Crohn’s, Gastritis, Narcolepsy, and Brain Health.

Always More

Is “always more” negative or just truthful?

It’s a matter of perspective, I suppose. It’s truthful for all of us.

My physical fumble is still in progress and I’m managing that as well as I can.

I’ve mentioned over the years that we didn’t have hot running water for 7 years. On Halloween 2020 it was finally fixed.

The week before Christmas it took a dump again. We didn’t notice there was a problem right away. I had got in the bath and the hot water was colder quickly. We thought that was because the washing machine was in use at the same time using hot water as well. 2 nights later I was trying to soak in heat again. Same thing. Husband had went out back to check it. Ugh! It had been dumping hot water for sometime. It’s been off since, and until we can repair or replace it. Our SMUD bill increased from an average of $140 mo to $400 for 2 consecutive billing cycles. And last week here comes the water bill that averaged $30 this time of year to $250. Well sh*t! It is what it is though.

This isn’t even half of the “always more”.

It is still a blessing to have learned all those other years how to manage living without what most people take for granted.

I’m not even going to mention what else has happened simultaneously because it’ll sound like a cry story and my purpose for sharing this bit is no one really knows what others endure. We rarely do for each other.

We’re all fighting battles on top of battles. For me, getting through them without losing myself is the cornerstone of faith.

My faith is strong and so am I.

Yesterday, Valentine’s Day was the 6th painiversary of that first suicide attempt. I basically spent the day mumbling LaLalalalah, as not to let bad memories slip in and turn it into a depressing day. I made us a nice dinner on Sunday. Yesterday was a work day for husband anyway and so Sunday, like for many, was the day we acknowledged Valentine’s.

I stared taking Cat’s Claw a week or so ago. Devil’s Claw, I’ve used several times and it is helpful for pain conditions. Una de Gato has great benefits too. In some aspects, more. I’ll write more about my experiences with it and it’s benefits soon.

I’m not currently getting in much of my music movement therapy. Hopefully more again soon. I’ve maintained my weight loss yet haven’t lost much more. I’m still at about the 40 pound loss.

I hadn’t worn pants since mid December. The pants I finally got back into a few months ago I dreaded putting back on. I was worried they wouldn’t fit again because my fitness time decreased. I tried them on Saturday. They’re fine, and even a bit looser.

Later next month will be a year since I began the low carbs. Minus 40 in a year is still good. I know some people who’ve lost 100 in a year. Amazing!

I’m up to 631 consecutive days of learning Spanish via Duolingo app. A couple of months ago I started with The Language Tutor via YouTube, and I’m re watching La Reina del Sur in Spanish. I finished the novela months back, but decided to watch it again.

In 3 days, I’ll be 3 years and a month alcohol free even through the storms that just keep coming. I’ve proven to myself I don’t need it to get through CRPS or the roller coasters of life but it’s really hard on the days my physical self hurts too greatly and there’s little I can do but wait it out.

Still facing it and still making.

Mas fuerte que el dolor

3 years alcohol free

It’s taken nearly 3 months for my shoulder to heal again. This situation had begun about a week prior to my blog post Ball Therapy in November.

I continued on with my music movement therapy the best that I could. I had to remove the weights from my routine for the most part. I did try to resume twice. A mistake both times, yet no one can say I didn’t try, try, try again. I did! I should have waited. I tried walking in place, holding them too and finally didn’t attempt to lift them above my head until recently.

I didn’t consider this a flare really. An acute re injury or slippage of spinal disc and irritated nerves is probably more accurate.

Sleeping, laying down wasn’t pleasant. I had to rest propped up regularly for weeks in order to rest at all. I couldn’t lay on my back, or my arms for more than seconds. My neck was heavy. I used a back, neck, and shoulder support posture harness for nearly 2 months. Removing it to bathe or dress caused my wedgie to intensify with that tearing sensation. I call it a wedgie, I suppose to replace the word, pain.

I resumed lifting my 2 lb weights 3 days ago on my 3 year soberversary. I’m hoping it’s okay to do so now and it’ll be fine. The other symptoms are still occurring. The buzzing, numbness, pulsating, shock like sensations haven’t subsided. As long as the tearing and ripping pain doesn’t accompany it, I can deal with it.

I broke 2 plates from not having enough strength in my hand to support the weight of a coffee cup while washing dishes.

I’m proud that I don’t consider alcohol an option anymore, but I haven’t fully overcome the reason why I had. Medically untreated pain and various illnesses.

Achieved my 3 years, January 18th.

I spent a beautiful sleepover at my sons with his wife and my grandson’s 10 days prior. They live about an hour from us.

I’m still about 40 lbs down from 10 months ago. At a weight loss halt currently yet maintaining.

Stronger Than Pain – January 8, 2022

I wore this shirt, which had belonged to my son from the Ignition Student Conference years ago. He was a teen still. It’s a size medium.

I wouldn’t purchase mediums yet. Sticking with large for now. Earlier last year, I was wearing X Lg. This shirt was in my closet and so I was inclined to try it. Woot!

I still have 20 to lose.

My lower extremity CRPS is better some days but not each day at all. Some days it feels like losing the weight hasn’t made any difference, yet I also know it’s had to. The benefits are there even if I don’t feel it on a regular basis.

I’m looking forward to springtime and doing my kiddie pool water PT. I find calm in nature and sunshine and weightless movement isn’t stressful. I started my music movement therapy so that I could avoid or minimize winter rumbles. Flare-ups.

The element of stress is there especially when I have to push myself extra to get through doing the exercises. I try to make it fun with music so that the stress isn’t heightened with it and I can feel good wanting to.

I’m not planning to stop the movement or fitness routines, I’m hoping to do both.

Next week will be 21 years since I sustained the injuries that led to RSDCRPS type 2. I was 32. I’ll be 54 later this year. Cray.

Happy Friday!

Gohl Method

I’ve referred to MLT dozens of times over the years. MLT is Manual Ligament Therapy.

The therapies and protocols are what I’ve used to maintain my comorbidities.

Now that video demonstrations are available it’s easier for me to recall some of what I learned, yet had also forgotten. What I mean by forgotten is the specifics to certain movements and stretches.

Spinal pain had been creeping up. I’ve been using an inflatable traction device since yesterday. Since having MLT years ago, I’ve only had a few instances of this. When I attended it was at its worse and it had been ongoing for more than a year.

I had been sent to the physical therapy center for traction of my spine and a few other treatments including heat and manipulation. I underwent cervical injections. The second one I had was the day before the Gohl Method/program healing retreat. (Oct 2016)

In fact, I spent my 48th birthday there. The spinal problems had caused cervical radiculopathy. Part of my right hand, fingers, wrist and forearm are partially numb. The treatment restored loss 9f feeling in my third finger. Its the finger I type and text with. I canceled the 3rd injection.

I was seriously scattered yesterday. Too much pain distorts my thought process. I kept changing my mind all day.

I couldn’t concentrate. I watched and rewatched 2 Spanish lessons, and couldn’t retain a single thing.

Background noise was terrorizing me. Hypersensitivity to sound. My anxiety kept rising.

I wanted to reach a 5 day exercise goal. Then wasn’t going to do it. I thought I had other weeks ahead to accomplish that.

I replaced that with Anterior Body Stretch. I could visually focus as I mirrored the video. That helped me complete it.

My mind kept nagging me, I’m not even kidding, to not miss my music movement therapy and achieve 5 out of 5 days that my fit bit would log as actual exercise not only active minutes.

I rewatched all of the Gohl Method presentations and demonstrations.

The little inspirations fit bit give you. You’re a pro! Ha! 10 minutes is hardly that, but hey,  at least it sounds supportive. It would be the first time reaching a 5/5 goal. I did!

Today, so far, stress is lessened. There’s no worry to miss song movement today. I just had to reach that goal!

I’ll repeat anterior stretch, and take it easy.

I really like Abdominal Self Massage, and have been doing this one for years. Not to the full extent of the video though. I use my therapy balls more than my hands, I’ve been doing it hands-on for 2 weeks.

I mentioned in a previous blog I wasn’t taking on anything in 2021 other than increased weights. These therapies don’t count as they are already in progress and therefore will simply continue.

The only thing I can think of that caused or contributed to this flare, or re injury is banging my knee 2 weeks ago tomorrow. It’s still bruised and swollen. It looks like I fell and I didn’t. I dinged it in the doorway coming out of the bathroom. My dog was weaving between my legs, and smack!

That hurt like a bish, but then I didn’t think any more of it. I just thought I was sore and tender because CRPS does that anyway. I hadn’t even noticed the depth of bruising and swelling until the 4th day, when I was getting ready to go with my auntie to Thanksgiving eve prayer service.

It occurred to me some before and more so after rewatching these videos that maybe I threw my posture off and as a result my spine as well, which led to my current state.

I’m really not certain. Random flares occur often enough.

It makes sense to me. I’ve been attempting to repair my poor posture over these last several years, too. I’ve fairly well fixed my breathing issues, which is fast slow, even in my sleep and documented in sleep study reports. I don’t panic breathe, anymore. I’ve avoided hyperventilation.

I pray these methods help others as much as they’ve helped me. I have faith they’ll help even more into the future.

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Feliz viernes