3 years alcohol free

It’s taken nearly 3 months for my shoulder to heal again. This situation had begun about a week prior to my blog post Ball Therapy in November.

I continued on with my music movement therapy the best that I could. I had to remove the weights from my routine for the most part. I did try to resume twice. A mistake both times, yet no one can say I didn’t try, try, try again. I did! I should have waited. I tried walking in place, holding them too and finally didn’t attempt to lift them above my head until recently.

I didn’t consider this a flare really. An acute re injury or slippage of spinal disc and irritated nerves is probably more accurate.

Sleeping, laying down wasn’t pleasant. I had to rest propped up regularly for weeks in order to rest at all. I couldn’t lay on my back, or my arms for more than seconds. My neck was heavy. I used a back, neck, and shoulder support posture harness for nearly 2 months. Removing it to bathe or dress caused my wedgie to intensify with that tearing sensation. I call it a wedgie, I suppose to replace the word, pain.

I resumed lifting my 2 lb weights 3 days ago on my 3 year soberversary. I’m hoping it’s okay to do so now and it’ll be fine. The other symptoms are still occurring. The buzzing, numbness, pulsating, shock like sensations haven’t subsided. As long as the tearing and ripping pain doesn’t accompany it, I can deal with it.

I broke 2 plates from not having enough strength in my hand to support the weight of a coffee cup while washing dishes.

I’m proud that I don’t consider alcohol an option anymore, but I haven’t fully overcome the reason why I had. Medically untreated pain and various illnesses.

Achieved my 3 years, January 18th.

I spent a beautiful sleepover at my sons with his wife and my grandson’s 10 days prior. They live about an hour from us.

I’m still about 40 lbs down from 10 months ago. At a weight loss halt currently yet maintaining.

Stronger Than Pain – January 8, 2022

I wore this shirt, which had belonged to my son from the Ignition Student Conference years ago. He was a teen still. It’s a size medium.

I wouldn’t purchase mediums yet. Sticking with large for now. Earlier last year, I was wearing X Lg. This shirt was in my closet and so I was inclined to try it. Woot!

I still have 20 to lose.

My lower extremity CRPS is better some days but not each day at all. Some days it feels like losing the weight hasn’t made any difference, yet I also know it’s had to. The benefits are there even if I don’t feel it on a regular basis.

I’m looking forward to springtime and doing my kiddie pool water PT. I find calm in nature and sunshine and weightless movement isn’t stressful. I started my music movement therapy so that I could avoid or minimize winter rumbles. Flare-ups.

The element of stress is there especially when I have to push myself extra to get through doing the exercises. I try to make it fun with music so that the stress isn’t heightened with it and I can feel good wanting to.

I’m not planning to stop the movement or fitness routines, I’m hoping to do both.

Next week will be 21 years since I sustained the injuries that led to RSDCRPS type 2. I was 32. I’ll be 54 later this year. Cray.

Happy Friday!

Gohl Method

I’ve referred to MLT dozens of times over the years. MLT is Manual Ligament Therapy.

The therapies and protocols are what I’ve used to maintain my comorbidities.

Now that video demonstrations are available it’s easier for me to recall some of what I learned, yet had also forgotten. What I mean by forgotten is the specifics to certain movements and stretches.

Spinal pain had been creeping up. I’ve been using an inflatable traction device since yesterday. Since having MLT years ago, I’ve only had a few instances of this. When I attended it was at its worse and it had been ongoing for more than a year.

I had been sent to the physical therapy center for traction of my spine and a few other treatments including heat and manipulation. I underwent cervical injections. The second one I had was the day before the Gohl Method/program healing retreat. (Oct 2016)

In fact, I spent my 48th birthday there. The spinal problems had caused cervical radiculopathy. Part of my right hand, fingers, wrist and forearm are partially numb. The treatment restored loss 9f feeling in my third finger. Its the finger I type and text with. I canceled the 3rd injection.

I was seriously scattered yesterday. Too much pain distorts my thought process. I kept changing my mind all day.

I couldn’t concentrate. I watched and rewatched 2 Spanish lessons, and couldn’t retain a single thing.

Background noise was terrorizing me. Hypersensitivity to sound. My anxiety kept rising.

I wanted to reach a 5 day exercise goal. Then wasn’t going to do it. I thought I had other weeks ahead to accomplish that.

I replaced that with Anterior Body Stretch. I could visually focus as I mirrored the video. That helped me complete it.

My mind kept nagging me, I’m not even kidding, to not miss my music movement therapy and achieve 5 out of 5 days that my fit bit would log as actual exercise not only active minutes.

I rewatched all of the Gohl Method presentations and demonstrations.

The little inspirations fit bit give you. You’re a pro! Ha! 10 minutes is hardly that, but hey,  at least it sounds supportive. It would be the first time reaching a 5/5 goal. I did!

Today, so far, stress is lessened. There’s no worry to miss song movement today. I just had to reach that goal!

I’ll repeat anterior stretch, and take it easy.

I really like Abdominal Self Massage, and have been doing this one for years. Not to the full extent of the video though. I use my therapy balls more than my hands, I’ve been doing it hands-on for 2 weeks.

I mentioned in a previous blog I wasn’t taking on anything in 2021 other than increased weights. These therapies don’t count as they are already in progress and therefore will simply continue.

The only thing I can think of that caused or contributed to this flare, or re injury is banging my knee 2 weeks ago tomorrow. It’s still bruised and swollen. It looks like I fell and I didn’t. I dinged it in the doorway coming out of the bathroom. My dog was weaving between my legs, and smack!

That hurt like a bish, but then I didn’t think any more of it. I just thought I was sore and tender because CRPS does that anyway. I hadn’t even noticed the depth of bruising and swelling until the 4th day, when I was getting ready to go with my auntie to Thanksgiving eve prayer service.

It occurred to me some before and more so after rewatching these videos that maybe I threw my posture off and as a result my spine as well, which led to my current state.

I’m really not certain. Random flares occur often enough.

It makes sense to me. I’ve been attempting to repair my poor posture over these last several years, too. I’ve fairly well fixed my breathing issues, which is fast slow, even in my sleep and documented in sleep study reports. I don’t panic breathe, anymore. I’ve avoided hyperventilation.

I pray these methods help others as much as they’ve helped me. I have faith they’ll help even more into the future.

For more information-

https://gohlmethod.com/

Feliz viernes

2021 Reflections

Much of this year has been that of carry overs. In January, I celebrated 2 years of sobriety from alcohol. March will be 2 years of attending my Church on Facebook Live. I haven’t missed a day. I’ve attended once in person and that was just a couple of months ago.

I’m at 557 consecutive days of Spanish. 2 years will be here soon enough.

I started low carbs this March, and in August, Music Movement Therapy.

I had some trial and error with the low carbs, a couple of bouts of Diverticulitis and CKD was riled up for a time being.

I’ve lost about 37 pounds so far. In the last 8 months, I’ve had to do liquid diet a few times to ease the belly and colon pain. I took oil of oregano for that. Anytime, I need an antibiotic this is what I use. Apple juice, bananas, most soups, aren’t low in carbohydrates. I tried not to worry about that.

My mornings are Tylenol, Ibuprofen, or the combination of both immediately upon waking. Coffee, and a few counter stretches.

I make our dinner everyday. I often have food started in the crockpit by 9:00 a.m.

Of course, I scroll Facebook with that first coffee and then feed my dogs.

There’s resting in between it all. My routine is fairly solid. My little exercise session comes next. I generally do my Spanish in the evening after dinner is served. We eat by 4.

I connected YouTube on my TV last week or so. I actually did that to watch Gohl Method videos and demonstrations. Which I’ve done several times now and will continue to.

My workout songs are on YouTube but I’ve been using headphones via my phone. Once I had it streaming on the TV, I did my movement from there. And then I tinkered with other channels.

I’m watching The Language Tutor. Spanish. I like how it’s taught and presented. It teaches the language not just the words. I’ve also watched movies and novelas. English subtitles.

It’s been so important to keep busy, my body doesn’t always go without lag, and some days can be too rough, but I can’t let my mind become idle. It’s the devil’s playground.

I’m still recovering from those mental breakdowns. Sometimes people think once the event or action is over it should all be forgotten and done with.

Thanksgiving Eve 2021 – Stronger Than Pain

It’s not! Now you have to face all the pain, hurt, depression, despair, anxiety, fears, and heartache that led you there.

The aftermath. Repairing. Choosing to live and creating a new path for it.

And then coping with all of the other things that simultaneously occur.

Loved ones hurting, sick, and in pain, helpless, stressors, worry, and caring for yourself all at the same time.

I stay as busy as possible, pray, and love.

Love!

I stay away from drama. If someone messages me negatively about someone else, I’m out! If they contact me because I’m not doing enough, or rather anything, for the Chronic Pain Community, I’m out! If a family member wants to gossip about another, yep, you got it, I’m out! 99 percent of the time, I send them off with love, care, and prayers, and wholeheartedly mean it, and thats it. The other 1 percent is left on read.

Family, even friends, tend to believe because they’re family that they are entitled. They aren’t. If anything, information is a courtesy not an entitlement. I’m speaking of those that I’m not close to in any way not of those I am.

It’s bothersome when they don’t recieve info from us so then they go through the back door to other people to get the scoop on what we wouldn’t tell them.

That’s disrespectful and quite low.

My point is that participating in, listening to, or reacting to such things would heighten my anxiety, provoke depression, cause me to over think and raise my physical pain levels.

There’s no peace in that.

I dont usually make a new years resolution. I can’t take on much more right now physically or mentally because I don’t want to become overwhelmed and crash. However, I’m going to increase my 2 lb weights to 3 lbs at the beginning of 2022.

I’m hoping that low carbs, weight loss, and movement/strengthening increases my energy at some point. I have none and having Narcolepsy and sleep disorders on top of it all is extra challenging. Praying.

I’m going to a Christian Concert December 12. I’ll be able to sit as necessary and stand as able,

My Auntie took me to prayer service the same day this photo was taken. It was a good day! Blessed.

I’m working on getting out a bit more. My social anxiety isn’t in check enough for much and weight bearing is what it is at any given moment. My emotions are mixed. The majority of me doesn’t want to be out in the world at all. Sad.

I’m trying though.

One thing is for certain, I’ll be 3 years alcohol free in about 6 weeks.

Progress continues.

Ball Therapy

In my previous post I mentioned shoulder pain. I wanted to share what relieved me of much of it last evening.

My chronic illness tool box is full of little helpers such as this.

When I underwent Manual Ligament Therapy 5 years ago, I had learned to utilize a tennis ball on my belly, and painful areas.

Later, I also started using a dog toy. It’s a ball on a rope with a tug handle.

There were times I had difficulty raising my arms to place my ball behind me and this idea came spontaneously.

My husband brought our dogs home some toys. I looked at one of the items, and thought immediately, I need that. Lo siento perro, that’s mine!

I stole the dogs new toy!

This has been a go to for me all along.

I can stand against a wall and toss it over my shoulder for self massage in those raw areas. I also use it laying down, as I did last night, and do it this way more often.

I laid as flat as able on my futon, tossed ball behind me, over my right shoulder, and rested on it. The strap/handle sets on the front of my shoulder/upper chest allowing me to control placement. I don’t have to get up, only lean up a little to reposition.

I can feel the ptessure in the raw painful knots. I had turned my head slightly to the left, I wanted to see the TV. I had Spanish lessons on YouTube at the time. Distraction.

When I turned my head that area in my shoulder was a sharp pull. I would roll the ball into my back in tiny motions while laying on it and I intended to increase pressure. The area hurting the worse was specific at the edges of my blade. When this happens, it also becomes painful to lift my head, and the pull and tearing sensation in my neck can be intense.

Tissue, fascia began loosening, maybe a tight muscle, or combination.

Earlier yesterday when I completed my 3 songs of music movement therapy I didn’t use my weights. It was more important to me to achieve my physical exercise than stress over the weights. Plus, I still used my arms in movement the entire 14 minutes.

I think I mentioned some time ago that I’ve also used a rolling pin on my legs for CRPS, Arthritis and Fibro. It helps sore flesh and muscles for me. It relieves some of that visceral all over bruising feeling.

I do have to push through the allodynia and hyperalgesia at times.

The item/tool, touching, hyper sensitivity isn’t pleasant either but nothing hurts more than those pains building to a flare I can’t get myself out of and which leads to major depression as a result.

Again, I have no medications, treatments, or medical/pain care.

I share these tools so that others might be able to ease and relieve themselves, especially those who either choose to live naturally or were, like myself, fired and abandoned by their pain managers.

My greatest goal in all of this is to keep myself, and hopefully others, from becoming suicidal due to pain.

I’ve been there too many times already.

I wish you all pain eased days and nights.

CRPS and Self-Healing

I’ve mentioned doing low carbs and incorporating physical movement into my daily routine.

I had gone 12 consecutive days with an average of 14 minutes of continuous weight bearing activity. My fit bit actually recorded some of these days as aerobic workouts in addition to active minutes. In order to reach “active minutes” I need to move for 10 non stop minutes.

I recieved my fit bit October 26th, and have 23 days of 10 or more active minutes. 2 of the days didnt record. I only accomplished 2 songs on those days. 6 minutes.

I missed 3 straight days this week, resumed the day before yesterday with 23 minutes, and missed yesterday.

I’m in a flare.

I banged my knee a week ago, and that’s still bruised and swollen. Seems to have set off extra nerve pain. This is the same knee that turns inward when I practice lunges. I had finally gotten to 11 each of those.

I’m a bundle of pain currently. My right shoulder and blade is throwing a fit, and the burning throughout that side isn’t only physically exhausting it’s mentally burdensome.

I considered stress as the culprit too, and at least a contributer and so I started recalling the week. I had a good week! I was excited to cook and began pacing myself in the days prior to accomplish that.

I went to prayer service with my Auntie on Thanksgiving eve. I’ve never been to her Church before. I’m dedicated to mine, yet I know Jesus wouldn’t mind, in fact, he’d be thrilled for me to be with family, too. Even our ancestors would be overjoyed.

If stress caused heightened pain, swelling, and bruising, I’m not sure where the trigger was, or is. I’m sure that stress can reside in the background. There’s no way to avoid it, only manage through it.

I know that my music movement therapy is benefitting me along with stretching and being mindful of stressors that impact any type of chronic pain and illnesses.

I only started this type of movement therapy with music 3 months ago. It was all weightless water therapy previously.

I’ve taken it to a brand-new level. I’m sure my body is thanking me while being a bit angry too. It’s use to what its use too and we’re changing that.

I read a great book a couple of weeks ago and I’ll share more about it soon.

Stop Chasing Symptoms
A unique approach to the causes and treatment of chronic pain

https://youtu.be/xARyDIGh_WE

I’m of like mind with the author, who’s also my Manual Ligament Therapy therapist, Arik Gohl. He’s been amazing support for me since I first met him in October of 2016.

His book also walks the reader through video demonstrations in addition to the written word.

It’s been a journey of self healing for 5 years now and if it takes another 5 years that’s ok.

(I started writing this before Church this morning, and in the interim completed 3 songs equaling 14 minutes)

Okay, okay, perhaps the stressor was the extra Thanksgiving stuffing with gravy. 😆

Happy Sunday!

Oil of Oregano and Burdock Root – Natural Cold and Flu Help.

It’s cold and flu season with SARS 2 still making its rounds.

My husband and I hadn’t been sick since fall/winter 2017/18 and that was a doozy lasting months.

After we recovered is when we began taking Oil of Oregano.

As an herbal supplement, oil of oregano is known for its antiviral, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties. It contains several potentially healing compounds, such as: carvacrol.

We acquired a cold nearly 3 weeks ago.

There are articles, including PubMed where studies exist that claim natural healing for SARS, the original coronavirus, noro virus, and others.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24779581/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34500592/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25310265/

These are just a few references though there are many.

We didn’t believe we had CoViD, and we knew the source whom we caught the cold from. Our teenage Grandson. He was tested, and negative.

My husband missed a week of work last week. He did a quick test and another, both negative. He had to retest in order to return to work.

I mean no disrespect and hope not to recieve any, neither of us are vaccinated.

I’ve spent years recovering my weak immune system, boosting it. I use to catch all the colds, I don’t anymore. Making it 4 years without was a good thing.

I’ve had Juvinile Arthritis since early childhood. That’s one autoimmune that affects the joints. I have others.

I understand that people have taken the vx for their own compromised immune systems, and well being. I’m not for the same reason.

My husband has heart disease, a previous quad bypass open heart surgery, and heart failure. He’d rather not.

Oil of Oregano and Burdock root are blood thinners. He’s been safe taking the oil of oregano with his pharmaceutical blood thinners. I didnt give him Burdock Root on top of that. Be safe, and if you take medications or thinners also, consult with your doctor or pharmacist.

I have no doctors, and have no medication interactions.

People take burdock to increase urine flow, kill germs, reduce fever, and “purify” their blood. It is also used to treat colds, cancer, anorexia nervosa, gastrointestinal (GI) complaints, joint pain (rheumatism), gout, bladder infections, complications of syphilis, and skin conditions including acne and psoriasis.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20981575/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25350500/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27807472/

Burdock Root detoxifies the blood. Oil of Oregano is a natural antibiotic.

Other than a lingering night time cough, we’re recovering from this. Neither of us had a fever, or lost taste or smell. Body aches were heavy, extra tired, and runny nose was the worse. We may have had a little bronchitis. My husband had a hard week of coughing and difficulty breathing.

We maintain ourselves with the oil of oregano weekly. I make us vitamin packs each Sunday including Vitamin C, D, B complex, a combo calcium, magnesium, and zinc. A few others in there, but these are most important.

I hope this helps you.

Happy Friday!

Everything in Moderation

Quote by Oscar Wilde: “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

It’s good to avoid extremes?!

This quote has been playing on my mind.

I’ve been consuming low carbohydrates since March. I’ve reached my initial goal of losing 35 pounds just last week.

I began Music Movement Therapy in August. I think I’ve previously mentioned that. I needed something to transition to from my Summertime water therapy. I had some worry on me because while I spend as much time as able in my kiddie pool each year during warm and hot weather, the colder months seemed to leave me stranded without that. I would lose much of my benefit that water stretch and movement offered.

I have a stationary bike a few feet away from me, and it sounds odd that I can’t pedal on it without so much discomfort that wanting to try again is actually stressful for me. I can’t seem to go longer than a minute, two at best.

My Music Movement Therapy has at least given me a sprinkle of motivation. I love to dance! And while I wouldn’t consider this dancing, some would. I started with my son’s song California Dreamin’.

I’m up to 3 songs now. A combined 14 minutes. I’m using 2 lb dumbbells and I’m on my feet the entire time. Forward steps, backward steps, side steps, walking in place, lunges. I can’t hold a lunge yet. The weights help me achieve what I’m doing though. When weights are above my head my knee is bent forward, weights come down its back leg stretch. I may not be explaining myself correctly. Hmm. Anyhow, quick forward, quick back. I’ve tried without the weights, but I’m weaker on my feet/legs that way, and stumble, mis step at times.

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

I’m not sure if I’m trying too much too soon. I do think that my eagerness to do so is in a positive light. It’s now or never. It’s said that it takes 3 weeks to make or break a habit. I’ve made a good habit to do my songs each day minus only a handful of times I wasn’t able to. Physical strain. I try to avoid the word pain anymore.

No pain, no gain? Use it, or lose it? Such a fine line at times. M o d e r a t i o n.

It’s only been a few months. At this point, I’m not disappointed in myself.

My kiddos gifted me a Fit Bit for my birthday last month. I adore it. My daily steps seem good. It does record other movements as steps and so I’m not entirely certain of actual steps accuracy.

I set it to lose 25 more pounds. 23 to go. If I get that off it would be a total of 60.

If…

I’m 53 now. I can barely believe it! This January will be 21 years since the injuries that led to CRPS occurred.

I feel like this is my last chance.

I’m keeping stressors and triggers at a distance. It’s taken me years now to get to this point. Especially in regard to secondary major depression and anxiety disorders.

If I don’t keep these stable none of this will make a difference.

October

I love Springtime! The weather begins to warm and my water therapy begins. Each of my 3 children are born in March. I always look forward to that time of the year.

October is my favorite color. Beautiful shades of earth. I adore autumn as everything starts to fall away in order to begin again.

It’s cleansing.

It’s also my birth month and not too cold as of yet. It smells refreshing to me.

It’s also time to ride. 🧹

I enjoy the sharing of seasonal memes as a distraction to carry me through the winter, especially the funny ones.

Spanish lessons continue at 504 consecutive days of learning.

I’ve watched several Mexican novelas already. (English subtitles)

I’m fairly sure I’ve mentioned that our Grandson’s Ezekiel and Greyson are bilingual as their first words form.

A few weeks ago I was worried about Summer ending and water PT being over until Spring again.

That’s when I began transitioning to indoor therapy.

I keep telling myself it’ll be worth it. I’ve been here before with this mindset, positive, and I wasn’t able to maintain what I worked so hard for due to a combination of the intractable pain and repetitive injuries.

CRPS, symptoms, and that visceral bone pain is always heightened in the wet, rainy, and colder months.

So far I’m doing as well as I can be with the music movement therapy and with orthotics on while doing so.

I’m praying that I avoid any major flares and continue into the upcoming months without gaps in my routine.

A part of me is so very tired and worn from all the try, try again. A piece of me says this will be the last time. My heart says, yes you will, you always try again.

Feliz martes para ti

~Dodinsky

Medical Anxiety

I haven’t seen a physician for CRPS in nearly 6 years, nor for my Spine for nearly 5. These have to remain separate. I can’t be treated as a whole person.

Now that my Advocate Son has moved his family back home to Sacramento, I’m considering making an appointment next year for diagnostics. Scans and blood work to see where I’m at with it all.

My Spinal Cord Stimulator and CRPS is Worker’s Compensation. It’s a mess. I was denied continuity of care in 2018 after the patient abandonment in February 2016. I tried to re establish care after that. I was approved for a pain management physician 1 time, and denied any follow-up. My attorney refused to appeal.

I honestly have no idea how to go about this again. If my attorney doesn’t GAF either, what can I do?

This is the part of the fight I have no energy for. It causes my depression and anxiety to worsen.

The thoughts alone provokes panic attacks.

I have no expectations of treatments or care. We don’t live in that world anymore.

I was abruptly dumped without any regard to CRPS and intractable pain by my one and only pain management doctor of 12 years.

The same physician who implanted my SCS, did numerous lumbar sympathetic nerve blocks, and maintained medication management.

My spinal cord stimulator hasn’t worked properly since the physician dismissal. I don’t even know for certain if I’ve had lead migration all along. It doesn’t work at all anymore.

Before it stopped working it was causing me pain. I’ve had it since 2006. A second lead was added in 2009, when I did have a migration then. My battery was replaced in 2014. My leads are original. Even though my 2014 battery was an update, and MRI compatible, my leads are not.

My physician was on vacation when his physician assistant fired me. I had been hospitalized a week before for a suicide attempt. I can barely express anymore how much pain I was in. I was bruised from head to toe that day. Medtronic met me there to do an integrity check on my SCS.

My doctor was also in the process of selling his practice, and most of the office staff I’d known for years had already been relocated to new positions elsewhere.

I had always been in full compliance.  My fire letter stated the reason for dismissal was “Patient/Physician breakdown. That’s it!

I never got to the point that day of an xray referral to check my leads.

That day also began the abrupt discontinuation of all medications. Cymbalta, Zonegran, BuTrans, I can hardly remember any others anymore. I know those experiences are in this blog though. I haven’t been able to go back and look. Cymbalta withdrawal hit me hard. I took it for a decade or more.

I went to an ER, I was sent away from there also. I was still suicidal. The CDC recommendations for opioid prescribing had begun. Nearly every chronic illness sufferer would now be considered a drug seeker. Some refer to this as the CDC opioid “guidelines.”

I don’t have any trust now. I don’t even know how to regain it, or who might be trustworthy. I had trust in a couple of people, but my poor mental health had me push them away. I had to before they hurt me also.

I turned to alcohol again.

I went from being a really good advocate and an advocacy director to losing most of it and giving up the rest.

It took me a long time to overcome the pileup of pain and emotions over it all.

Several other family traumas were occurring simultaneously.

1 Corinthians 2:5

That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

This!!! is all I had to hold onto.

I’ve learned many natural and holistic ways to managing myself since. There’s no actual quality of life. I’m alive,, yet hardly living.

I have to constantly shift my thoughts to all that is good and stay as focused as possible on those things.

It keeps me from sinking.

This upcoming January I’ll be 3 years alcohol free. I’m not ashamed to speak of this. It was what it was.

Some days are so bad, extremely intense, pain so severe you lose your mind with it and there’s nothing I can do but pray and stay in that prayer.

I’ve always been close to Jesus, …

but this travesty has led me closer to knowing God.

And I’m blessed to know him.

Music Movement Therapy

I’ve mentioned many times that I utilize spring and summer for water therapy. I’ve done this for more years than I can count. I even did this in the years prior to CRPS. That was for Juvenile Arthritis.

After our home burned to the ground 21 years ago, we lived in an apartment where a kiddie pool couldn’t be used for 5 years. A year after the fire was my injuries that led to CRPS.

Water has always helped me. It’s light, weightless and I can get movement and stretching in that is otherwise difficult and painful. I’m no stranger to discomfort. My whole life.

I started the music movement therapy August 27th. Low carbs for the last 6 months, and began wearing the shoes with my custom Orthotics in them again on September 7th.

Between swelling, additional injuries, and weight gain I wasn’t able to use them. I couldn’t go up a size because the orthotics are specific for this size shoe. In fact these are the only shoes I’ve ever had them in. 5 years old and haven’t worn them at all since 2018.

Trying again.

Music, of course, generally inspires movement for me even if its non weight bearing. However, the periods of major depression didn’t let me catch that vibe.

I started off with my son’s song California Dreamin’.

I’m up to 2 songs most days. About 7 non stop minutes.

Right now, My main focus is my upper body with 2 lb weights. My arms are effected by my cervical spine.

I’m practicing balance for lower extremities. My truth is that I’ve stumbled, and nearly biffed it several times over since beginning.

My predominant CRPS foot is frequently bruised just from standing, or the slightest bend, and this hasnt helped that any.

Sometimes, I’m really not sure when enough is enough.

The physical try is both beneficial and harmful to my bones. I have to continue to get this weight off and kiddie pool time is over for the year.

It’s just movement to music. Hardly a workout, and not quite dancing. It’s a start and a little more than water PT offered.

2 of my other favorite songs to do are Boogie Shoes and Monday Morning.

I am that old.