Next Friday, the 18th, I’ll be 29 months alcohol free.

I used alcohol in order to cope with chronic illness, comorbidities, intense intractable pain. I did this especially when pain and associated symptoms were out of control, when medication management was denied or delayed by Worker’s Compensation, and ultimately when I was dropped from pain management of 12 years in early 2016. 

I can hardly believe I’ve existed since.

I haven’t blogged in some time. If you’ve followed me throughout the years you know that I was also suicidal in 2016-17 and attempts were made.

2016 is when booze came on board for me with more than a few drinks. In 2017, I had backed off from it again, and towards the end of 2018, I was struggling extra without any health related care or management of pain.

January 2021 was also the 20th year of CRPS 2 and the work injuries that caused it.

By this time though, I reached 2 years of sobriety. (January 18, 2019 is when this part of my journey to abstain begun)

My son gifted me this coin. It’s a heart felt reminder of overlapping emotions, the deepest was letting go.

Letting go of fighting for care was major. I’m not chasing or begging anyone, anymore, ever.

I’ve already done that and it killed me inside to be abandoned and discarded in such pain.

Here I am still, over 5 years later, no medications, no treatments, under no physician care whatsoever, with a broken spinal cord stimulator, progression, and…. alcohol free.

How? Jesus Only Jesus.