Masala

Masala

images - masala - image source tritonprinting

Image Source: Tritonprinting

Pity wasn’t her calling,
resilience was.

Certainty wasn’t the future,
overcoming impossibles were.

Hope didn’t always exist,
faith always had.

Giving selflessly was admired,
a gift misunderstood.

Receiving wasn’t an option,
earning it was.

Hardships were just ripples,
meticulousness would wash them away.

Progress had to be for herself,
determination would be solo

A medly of flavorful masala,
unique from the status quo.

©2017 Twinkle VanFleet. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

Pain

 

pain-by-twinkle-vanfleet

Pain is overrated,

Pain is underrated,

Pain is misstated,

Pain is subjugated.

 

Pain is subjective,

Pain is protective,

Pain is deceiving,

Pain is objective.

 

Pain is loving,

Pain is restless,

Pain is heartless,

Pain is breathless.

 

Pain is productive,

Pain is weakness,

Pain is strength,

Pain is forgiveness.

 

Pain is reminders,

Pain is blinders,

Pain is reckless,

Pain isn’t faithless.

 

Pain is teaching,

Pain is reaching,

Pain is giving,

Pain is receiving.

 

Pain is passion,

Pain is purpose,

Pain is humble,

Pain is service.

© 2017 Twinkle VanFleet. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

Sharing permitted without alteration.

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Control | Spoken Word

Control by Twinkle VanFleet

Control it
Hold it
(Down)

Rolling the dice (Gamble) (Rambling?)

Ascendancy
Enough of
(Play off?)

Regulate
Not anymore
(Keeping score?)

Oversight
Not really, though
(As above, so below)

california-state-capital-california-international-marathon-december-4-2016

California International Marathon, California State Capital December 4, 2016.

(Everything and nothing)

(Balance)

Ascertain
Rarely exists (Remain?)

Responsibility
Owning it
(Grow)

Authority
Consider this
(Risk)

Influence
Subsist
(With…?!)

Controlled

(Dismiss it)

Throw down
(Profound?)

Broken, hoping
(Coping)
Faded, Jaded

Climb, rhyme
(Time)
Sublime, realign.

©2016 Twinkle VanFleet. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

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Conscientious | Poem

Conscientious
by Twinkle VanFleet

Distance, resistance
Defiance, compliance

Residual, peripheral
Visions, decisions

Subjective, objective
Experiences, differences

Reckless, perspective
Gracious, reflective

Ambition, intuition
Volition, submission

Relevancy, hesitancy,
Prevenancy, indefinitely

Precognition, transition
Recondition, re position.

©2016 Twinkle VanFleet All Rights Reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

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All She Wanted

by Twinkle VanFleet
All she wanted to do is live
All she wanted to do is dance
All she wanted to do is give
Trust in something and forgive

All she wanted was to care
All she wanted was to be
All she wanted for is hope
All she prayed for was the chi

All she wanted was to love
All she wanted was to rise
All she wanted was for them
And be cherished in his eyes

 

Twinkle V March 16.16 -2

 

All she needed was to survive
All she wanted was to keep dancing
If not in body;  soul, heart and mind
All she needed was to be worth having

All she knew was a world ahead
All she gave was it’s pain
All she meant was to take it away
In His name, she did pray

Pain, passion, purpose. Deuces High
Stronger Than Pain to stay alive
Ride, die or fly
Simpli(y) justified.

Twinkle VanFleet: ~TVa Sig

©2016 Twinkle VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

Deliverance | Suicide

Deliverance

By Twinkle VanFleet

TwinkleV March 2 2016

March 2, 2016

Your secrets she carried them well

Your regrets, she could have taken to hell

 

Your confidences, she held inside so tight

Your lies she covered them

From pretend to spreading for headlights

 

She took the blames as her own

Most- right toward the gravestone

Taken for granted; abandoned

Alone

 

Your lies she hid to never tell

For your own rise, prizes and people

Drained, too much to hold onto

Take some? Not even a little

Except your own sins to confess at the steeple

 

Deceptions, other’s misconceptions, restless

Decisions; pained spirit, heart, body and bones

Liquid courage, that little bottle lured it

To breaking down glass houses and home stones

 

Upon the pavement

She spread her wings

Intent, mission served

Ignitions curved

Reasons observed, so well deserved.

 

Abide or suicide

Ignored,  no one to reach for

Many folks lost, blind to the signs

People are given up on for not enough time

 

Will swear to God they never saw anything blue

The beginning becomes the end,

Suicide ensues

 

Reaching out, passively pleading, Negative 10-4

Raining, blaming, scolded, but still loved them more.

Pressed, distressed, stressed, aggressed, led to arrest

51-49 and a half, leaped toward ridding someone elses mess

Deliverance, have you guessed?

Insist, persist, wouldn’t resist, did her best

Affirmative, 5150, tests failed, now you’re dismissed!

 

#StrongerThanPain

#CRPS #RSD #Suicide #Ideations #deliverance #5150 #poeticimagery

I truly am grateful for life, but not all tests and experiences are mine or just for me…

They’re yours, too.

 

 

Mirage

It’s unfortunate that as pain patients we have to play the game you want us to in order to be accepted into society. In the midst of the CDC’s Opioid Prescribing Guidelines that are being implemented and much of the commentary by various members of the medical community, PROP or anti opioid groups I’m left with a single phrase of truth. “I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t.” And so are you!
Pain patients should just push through it right? Okay! We should stop whining, quit complaining, cease everything you consider negative and survive it, right? Damned straight I’m right! But check it out! As soon as we do, to appease you, we’re well enough, we fabricated it, malingerers, and we’re a yxz with predominate pain as described in the ICD 10. We’re fine if we do and we’re lazy cry babies if we don’t. Oh and that pain we have? We’re just obsessed. Are you sure about that?
Comments are finally open-
Your voice is important
You finally have the opportunity to read what is included.
I’ll be sure to have my death certificate fought in any instance, including suicide.
Enough really is enough already!

Mirage

December212012byKharismaVanFleet

By Twinkle VanFleet

Montage,
Entourage

Applause,
Just a Mirage

Envision,
Collision, precision.

Missions

Decision, revision
Division, supervision

Manifested, suggested

Visions,
Acquisition, recondition

Provisions

Volition, superstition,
Intuition

Illusion
Delusion,
Fruition,

Why?
Solutions

It’s all a ..
Mirage
A smudge on the collage.

©2015 Twinkle VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

 

Twinkle V December 12, & 15 2015 #CRPS #StrongerThanPain

December 12 and December 15th. Still haven’t combed out them braids. 

The funny thing is that some of us fake it to make it, but really…
It’s just a mirage.

 

Just One More Step

By Twinkle VanFleet

Twinkle V and Baby Ozra 1997

My baby son and I- West Sacramento- Spring, 1997

I fight, you fight,
We fight together.
You fight, I fight,
We win forever.

“Just one more step, Mama!
Just one more step”
The little voice echoed,
Made it over the doorstep.

Let go, let go!
Neighbors gathered around,
She spread her wings,
The sticks hit the ground.

The little boy beamed,
In the crowd of praise.
Flying solo,
Because of him, she prayed.

I fight, you fight..
For that one more step!
You fought, I fought!
Haven’t stopped yet.

(Hook)
Step up, step down,
Step in, step out,
Step to, step from,
Just one more step Mama!
Just one more step!
Step it up, Step!
Just one more step Mama
Just one more step.

Just one

one

one

Just one more

(Chorus)
I fight, you fight
We fight together
You fight, I fight
We win forever

(Fight! we fightin’ it)

(Fight it)

(Just one more)

(All it takes)

(Just that one)

I fight, you fight..
For that one more step,
You fought, I fought
Haven’t stopped yet.

(Still fighting)

(Steppin’)

(You Steppin’)

(Just one more step, mine)

We haven’t stopped yet

Twinkle VanFleet and son Ozra #NERVEmber 14, 2014

#NERVEmber 14, 2014 Power of Pain Foundation National P.A.I.N Summit

©2015 Twinkle VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

“I fight, you fight, we fight together” ©Kurtis V.

This quote has been on the internet for over a decade. It originated from my 3 year old son. I carried those words online. They came from the mouth of a babe for his mama (me). On the internet it’s ©Kurtis V. Kurtis V is Kurtis VanFleet a.k.a Kurtis Ozie, Ozie and Ozra.

Wake Up

Wake Up!

By Twinkle VanFleet

 

 Wake Up by Twinkle VanFleet

You don’t have to go there

 

Leave behind the bondage of someone else’s sin

 

You’re stronger than all you seemed

 

Be your own conscience, redeemed.

 

 

 

Wake up, wake up

 

 

 

Never met Angel, never met Molly,

 

Never headed toward the main line

 

Glanced over at the snow,

 

Wash broke so many lives.- 

 

 

 

Rising above the influence,

 

In crowds that made it seem

 

It’s okay to indulge,

 

Be accepted into the cream.

 

 

 

Redik, no trip, 

 

nevah needed the shit

 

Didn’t have to go there

 

Throw down, omit.

 

 

 

A little lick, no trick

 

Imagery and fuse

 

Before you miss the point 

 

This is my nikkah ass muse.

 

 

 

Pressure to the hopeless,

 

The ones left behind,

 

In a world full of chaos

 

Pain and loss entwined.

 

 

 

star-dust, where the go?

 

Ball, Bomber, chasing the grams

 

Crashing hard, heading for the Q 

 

Reaching for the Bamb Bambs.

 

 

 

Wake up, wake up,

 

Popping pills, La glass, got to go fast

 

Better not go there

 

They got your name on blast

 

 

 

Comin’ down, losing yourself,

 

Remember who you are

 

You make you or break you,

 

Come back from afar. 

 

 

 

Never had to meet Angel,

 

Never went looking for Molly,

 

Didn’t travel down that main line

 

No time for dimes just a few rhymes.

 

 

 

No mistake in walking the shoes

 

Of someone else, nothing to lose

 

All was gained, no regrets

 

I got this shit on reset

 

 

 

Let the devil’s catch the fade

 

With your own will power

 

Because only we control

 

Our final hour

 

 

 

Drug abuse, misuse, alcohol, wild hearts judged

 

No one got backbone, until they be grudged.

 

 

 

Wake up, wake up

 

You’re stronger than your worse dream

 

Love yourself first and last,

 

Be absolute and pristine.

 

 

I got you!

 

 

Wake up. 

 

©2014 Twinkle VanFleet. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

 

This piece is most likely controversial. There is much imagery in it. It’s written from the point of multiple views.  

 

It is dedicated to all those who struggle with addiction and all those who’ve come up on the other side despite the ‘tragedies’ of life. It does not reflect personal addiction, but rather understanding from multiple sources. Slightly edited from the original. 

Collaborative consideration open for discussion.

Any judgement for this piece will only make me prouder of it. #StrongerThanPain #Ohana

Awoken

By Twinkle VanFleet

Grand_Universe_by_ANTIFAN_REAL

Grand Universe by Antifan Real

She thinks she can make it now
She knows that there there’s no win or lose.
She thinks that the fight is a matter of mind,
She knows that we give up or choose.

She believes that pain is a matter of perception,
We hide ourselves in ache, loss and rejection
She thinks that she can move past the hell,
She knows she has his protection.

She heard the whispers and saw the descent,
She felt the flutter and witnessed the havoc
She thinks forever is in the palm of his hand,
She knows life is precious, tragic and magic.

She hid in the dark, safe from the violence,
She kept from the path that could lead to no return
She shrugged off the violations,
Yet still felt the burn.

She wore the brand and inclined her head,
She was obedient and gave obeisance
She came out of the silence,
And revoked public acquiescence.

She saw tomorrow through the light,
She saw beyond the material world
She felt the vibrations and breathed in time,
Awoken, as the universe whirled.

©2015 Twinkle Wood-VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/