Deliverance | Suicide

Deliverance

By Twinkle VanFleet

TwinkleV March 2 2016

March 2, 2016

Your secrets she carried them well

Your regrets, she could have taken to hell

 

Your confidences, she held inside so tight

Your lies she covered them

From pretend to spreading for headlights

 

She took the blames as her own

Most- right toward the gravestone

Taken for granted; abandoned

Alone

 

Your lies she hid to never tell

For your own rise, prizes and people

Drained, too much to hold onto

Take some? Not even a little

Except your own sins to confess at the steeple

 

Deceptions, other’s misconceptions, restless

Decisions; pained spirit, heart, body and bones

Liquid courage, that little bottle lured it

To breaking down glass houses and home stones

 

Upon the pavement

She spread her wings

Intent, mission served

Ignitions curved

Reasons observed, so well deserved.

 

Abide or suicide

Ignored,  no one to reach for

Many folks lost, blind to the signs

People are given up on for not enough time

 

Will swear to God they never saw anything blue

The beginning becomes the end,

Suicide ensues

 

Reaching out, passively pleading, Negative 10-4

Raining, blaming, scolded, but still loved them more.

Pressed, distressed, stressed, aggressed, led to arrest

51-49 and a half, leaped toward ridding someone elses mess

Deliverance, have you guessed?

Insist, persist, wouldn’t resist, did her best

Affirmative, 5150, tests failed, now you’re dismissed!

 

#StrongerThanPain

#CRPS #RSD #Suicide #Ideations #deliverance #5150 #poeticimagery

I truly am grateful for life, but not all tests and experiences are mine or just for me…

They’re yours, too.

 

 

Fight for Tomorrow

RSDAdvisoryFightorFlightjAlways have faith that a better tomorrow will come. We have to or we won’t survive. The life of chronic pain becomes a family disease. In the last few months we have lost over a dozen people in the CRPS/RSD community. At least half to suicide. Most people do not premeditate their suicide. Many do experience suicidal ideations. It has been noted by professionals that “wanting to die or commit suicide” and suicidal ideations are not the same”. If they were more of us would be evaluated and helped before we get to the point of knowing our pain is never going to managed and into the sudden taking of our own lives. When it happens it is often spontaneous. There will have been signals and signs misread. There is always a cause and there will always be an affect. So many are not afforded proper medical care to reduce pain levels. Opioid medications, such as Hydrocodone,  continue to be well versed as a gate way drug to harder and heavier medications such as Oxycodone. It has been said a like a broken record over the past decades that Marijuana and narcotic use causes a person to become high risk for Heroin use. I do not believe this to be true. I do believe it’s possible in some personalities. Addictive personalities perhaps, but this does not include our entire population. I am offended for honest chronic pain patients that need pain care who have been dismissed as drug seekers. I am offended by good providers whose practices have been raided for prescribing Opioid medications.

It’s not the Opioid itself that is the epidemic in our society, it is the person who does not take it exactly as prescribed which can lead to abuse and misuse. Re evaluate the patient for possible addiction or consider another pain management plan of action. Either way they need help!

If pain patients aren’t taken care of and the pain cannot be controlled..

The number of deaths continue to rise. The epidemic will be chronic pain related suicides.

Your autopsy report will probably read..  as a result of depression, misus, abuse or other. There will be nothing about really happened. There will be nothing about the fact you couldn’t get pain relief and your last, very last resort was taking your own life.

DEA.. You don’t know pain until you’ve contemplated.

Speak up and speak out!

Let there always be a tomorrow. Fight for your tomorrow!