Over

Posted by twinklev

In the last week I’ve shared about 6 video’s in the raw. Unedited, me without make up, me with make up, me just going on about the last few months or more, blah blah.

I made it 15 years. I made the last 10 with SCS, medication and functional restoration and the last 4 by medication management, SCS, and home functional restoration enough to help me set goals and achieve them. Sometimes it can really take time to get unstuck from the pain cycles, the why me’s, sulking pity party. I busted my butt, learned, wanted to learn, and aside from a patient, I’m a caregiver too. Hard? It has to be done.

So many times I’ve had to alter my list of the 3 most important tasks needing done in a day. I’d move the least important to the top of the following day’s list. All those little tricks and things I’ve learned over the years that hang out in my toolbox of survival mechanisms.

I knew it was almost over. I just never imagined it would be by the hands and decisions of others/provider’s before giving up of my own. I just didn’t think… of all the thinking I do that my award also became part of my end. I worked hard for that. Decades for that. Unpaid for that.

Spontaneous? Not really. I messaged my mom to have my Advanced Directive revoked and destroyed. I’ve tried to and I haven’t been able to get them back. It was Valentine’s Day, I called the radio station The new STAR and dedicated a song to my man. I’ll hold back on that song title right now. I took the last walk I ever thought I’d walk. It was long and hard, and I had to sit on people’s lawns or lean against trees or mailboxes and it was really only a little farther than end of our block.

Am I a quitter, a coward? Perception. A quitter and a coward would have never rolled into those headlights, but let’s be fair, I haven’t quit yet.

I was already in withdrawal, unstable, but woke up to a nice day. It was all good until I re read the first denial letter stating those 2 medications (Cymbalta and Zonegran) weren’t medically necessarily and not supported by the California MTUS (Yes they are). It also claimed that due to the doctors report it was left to interpretation on a couple of matters and one of them was that those 2 medications didn’t reduce my potential for abuse or minimize my current opioid use. Seriously?!!

I appealed and I won. No potential for abuse or misuse and both medically necessary.

Approved on appeal February 16, 2016. I’m still not on them, nor am I on any pain reliever at all.

I can get through the 7’s, bouncing 8’s and 9’s. I can use my tools to bring those 8/9’s down enough to level myself. I couldn’t handle the 9/10 I couldn’t bring myself out of it. The physical 9/10 that can make you lose your mind. Why? Because it’s in your mind where you’re coping abilities and strategies are.

Already living in your head all day just to manage your 7, see what happens when 10 comes and there isn’t any help. I’ve rarely used 10 in my entire life, I seldom use 9, except to acknowledge it gets there off and on throughout any day for seconds, minutes, hours.

10 though! I drank that bottle, intoxicated, drunk, I could care less about labels because I hit the ground on my stomach and face so hard I passed out. Somnolence, narcoleptic episodes (diagnosed) or alcohol, perhaps a combination of each. Though my husband said he dropped me as I was leaning against him.

I walked out of our gate and stood against our lamp post. Husband came out and told me to go back inside. I wasn’t doing anything but standing there, reflecting, thinking, but then…

He started grabbing me to lead me in and a lady called the Sheriff’s Department on him for abusing me. He wasn’t, but he was in my space and I just wanted to chill. I was sure to tell her that he didn’t hurt me, beat me, abuse me and that I was fine. I was. I think.

Our street, people drive down it like there is no road and a speed limit doesn’t exist.

That was my out! I laid down in the center of the street, spread my arms and my legs as best as I could and I could see headlights flying right for me. Am I mad I was pulled out of the street? A little. Why would I ever think to let a driver be responsible for killing me. Well how about this, slow down and do the speed limit. Everything is a learning experience.

The unbelievable inaccuracies in my medical records are nearly beyond fixing. Medications listed I’m not even taking, and a few for more than a year. I’ve updated again since my release and tonight I peeked at my Patient EMR. They’re all still listed. So the medications go on the record, but they don’t come off? There’s a difference between previously taken medications (inactive) and medications currently taking (active). It say’s I’m on 11 medications including 2 opioids, a benzo, oic med, lidoderm patches, cymbalta, and zonegran and I”M NOT! Lisinopril, Hydralazine, Atorvastatin and Nuvigil. That is what I’m on. 4 medications. Red flag above 7, did you know that? So yes, I’ve been red flagged and it’s flying the wrong way.

I’m sorry to the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department, the Metropolitan Fire Department and the EMT and probably ambulance driver too. I didn’t trust you.

When you asked if I was in pain? I told you I wouldn’t tell you even if I was… Because… I wasn’t going to have in my record an opioid pain reliever documented as given to me. Yeah I suffered and I suffered for not being truthful. I’m learning though that truth and honesty is just someone elses made up lies. Unfortunate casualties of the world we live in.

To the Officer that lacked a little faith, I pray I left you with something. Heart! Have a little faith that sometimes not everyone is who the rest of the world made us out to be.

I’m not sorry for the actions that led to my consequences or my responsibility in it. It’s forever now. I’m glad I screamed all the policy issues going on and made it loud and clear for blocks. I’m sorry for all those who played a part and either bailed or covered their own asses. I’m sorry for all those who think relieving pain leads to misuse, abuse and heroin above the overdoses that are self inflicted one way or the other.

Who ever thought it’d be me? No one!

Courage - Your fear

Goals? Get my lyrics out to those who’ve been interested and play that part of a lifetime. Really though, I’ve already done everything I wanted. From Poster Girl to TV Commercial, being published by my 20’s, being a part of Sacramento history in the news, hard copy, on the news live, iPain Foundation, my own endeavors. All in the background from my space, my cubby.

I’ll either fly off this earth by the grace of God, or by my faith in options. Take that as you will. I’ve had to choose, make choices, decisions, options to save my own life. My own!

Still not what you would simply assume.

I don’t hardly care about much right now because I can’t fix me enough to put in the few hours a month I had been to help others. I’m numb and it’s not the numb I wish it was. It really is easy to rectify wrongs, accidents, mistakes, oversights, correct errors and be responsible for your own actions. It really is easy to do. The only reason someone would choose not to is to hide their own guilt and be unable or against a face to face with you in the presence of a sit down meeting with lead staff for a reconciliation. I feel bad about that and I shouldn’t because I did move to rectify and was denied. I was even denied the 30 days of “emergency care” allotted by law when being dismissed by a provider.

I am grateful for the person who provided LLLT and Bowen Therapy yesterday. Bowen might take a few more times. LLLT I’ve done a few times before. The only “maybe” for months.

Really though, my problem is that I care too much but I think that’s been back handed out of me. None of this is finished, some has only just begun and the rest well… it is what it is, for now.

Over and…

out.

The Body, Mind and Spirit; Humanizing the Soul

https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/02/11/the-body-mind-and-spirit-humanizing-the-soul/

It Really Hurts to Hurt | Live On. Give On.

https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/03/20/it-really-hurts-to-hurt-live-on-give-on/

The Unintended Side Effects of Fighting Prescription Drug Abuse by Twinkle VanFleet

The California Progress Report January 8, 2015

http://www.californiaprogressreport.com/site/unintended-side-effects-fighting-prescription-drug-abuse

Bracelets; Lockdown; Profound and Letdown

https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/02/26/bracelets-lockdown-profound-and-letdown/

A Call for Action- 2016

Posted by twinklev

A Call for Action 2016

By Twinkle VanFleet

‎Since 2012, the estimated rise in addiction and opioid related abuse was an astounding 26.4 to 36 million people throughout the world. The accidental overdose of prescription related deaths were 4 times the amount of similar deaths in 1999.[1] According to the National Survey on Drugs Use and Health, 70 percent of all people who abused prescription analgesics got them from friends or relatives while 5 percent got them from a drug dealer or the internet.[2] While most of the focus has been on patients abusing their medications we must not lose sight that the majority of these patients take their medication as prescribed. The negative innuendos influence the positive conclusion that long-term opioid treatment does in fact give quality of life to not only cancer patients, but non-cancerous chronic pain patients whose pain cannot be controlled any other way.

In an effort to deter abuse and/or misuse in patients, family, friends or associates, decrease the value in street sales, reduce the drug epidemic in certain populations, abuse deterrent formulations (ADF) are beneficial step forward in the diversion of the prescription drug issue.

OxyContin, Nucynta ER, Opana ER, Oxecta, Embeda, and Targiniq each contain abuse deterrent formulations (ADF) or tamper deterrent formulations (TDF). The most common form of abuse is by swallowing the medication. Other forms are chewing, swallowing, snorting, ingesting, inhaling, and injecting for the fast acting euphoric effect. Naloxone is a narcotic that reverses the effects of other narcotic medicines and can be used to treat drug overdose in emergency situations. Naltrexone hydrochloride blocks the effects of opioids by competitive binding (i.e., analogous to competitive inhibition of enzymes) at opioid receptors. Naloxone and Naltrexone are both opioid antagonists and each conclusively block the body from experiencing the opiate and related endorphins. This occurs by binding of the opioid receptors with higher than affinity than agonists, but do not activate the receptors.

TDFs will protect people who decide to modify the medication’s original form by removing the opioid for prompt use and abuse. Otherwise, extraction acts quickly and the time it takes to produce its effects can be immediate.[3]

ADF’s contain ingredients for safer distribution. Patients would continue to receive the management of pain and physicians would be less likely to stop providing access to pain care.

Not all patients should be diverted to ADF or TDF by their physicians. Patient Evaluation and Risk Stratification should be utilized to mitigate potential risks. Pharmacies and insurance companies should not be allowed to replace an Abuse Deterrent Formulation prescription opioid for a similar generic non ADF opioid. The prescription drug abuse issue has brought an adverse impression onto honest patients with incurable and intractable chronic pain syndromes and diseases and has left some pain professionals feeling perplexed.

With the continued development of these safer opioid medications we are contributing to the future of better health and pain care practices. Pain patients must remain a high priority in the midst of the current and ongoing concern that prescriptions will likely be misused or abused. It is imperative that patients be assessed on an individual basis and not as an assumption to the status quo.

We must find a balance that separates patients who truly need opioid medication to live productive lives and those who are abusing them. Responsible patients should not be punished in an attempt to crack down on prescription drugs and opioid abuse. Legislators, health care professionals and pharmaceutical companies must work together to stop opioid abuse while keeping the needs of chronic intractable pain patients in mind.

Patients are being labeled for their chronic pain identity. In the last year or more they have not been receiving their medication management either by their physicians, insurance or pharmacy. In one instance, I was informed that a patient with no history of abuse was being referred to what seemed a drug rehabilitation program in order to get her medication. If she did not comply, she would not receive.

Another gentleman, previously prescribed Suboxone for pain management, now cannot receive opioid managed care because the information in his Prescription Drug Monitoring Program insinuates prescription drug abuse.

Steps need to be taken to ensure that notes are added to the PDMP/CURES database on individuals. Suboxone itself is only an implication without verification for what the medication was prescribed for.

On behalf of those who need, not want, but need medication to sustain quality of life, I call upon our legislative leaders to be proactive in this area. Help stop the abuse without penalizing those of us who are able to live at least a modicum of life due to the effectiveness of these prescription pain medications.

Think about it, as if you’re needing to… no! really needing to, begging to, ease your Mama. Close your eyes and imagine.

I call on you to not make any compromises for a standard not yet met.

America’s Addiction to Opioids: Heroin and Prescription Drug Abuse. Nora D. Volkow, M.D. May 14, 2014.

Senate Caucus on International Narcotics Control. NIH National Institute on Drug Abuse

http://www.drugabuse.gov/about-nida/legislative-activities/testimony-to-congress/2014/americas-addiction-to-opioids-heroin-prescription-drug-abuse

2. Prescription Drug Abuse. Office of National Drug Control Policy

http://www.whitehouse.gov/ondcp/prescription-drug-abuse

3. Tamper-Deterrent Opioid Formulations: Who Needs Them, and at What Cost? Robert Twillman, PhD. Pain Practitioner

http://www.aapainmanage.org/resources/articles/tamper-deterrent-opioid-formulations-who-needs-them-and-at-what-cost/

Twinkle VanFleet, Sacramento resident, pain patient, Executive Board Member and Advocacy Director for the Power of Pain Foundation.

Written Thursday, ‎December ‎04, ‎2014

Updated Wednesday October 14, 2015

Power of Pain Foundation- ADF and Access to Care

Posted by twinklev

ADF

Power of Pain Foundation recognizes that Abuse Deterrent Formulations are only a step forward
toward drug diversion. We know this isn’t the final answer. It allows an option for patients to
continue to be treated with opioid analgesics and removes many of the barriers involved in non abuse
deterrent medication.

POPF Pain Community Needs Assessment Survey

We are not focusing on any one treatment option, we are improving upon the patient/provider
relationship.

The purpose of our survey was to determine who is having trouble getting access to quality care.
who is being dismissed, who is being cared for by a primary physician, who is being sent to pain
management and who is having difficulty receiving ongoing pain care.

We are aware of many individuals who are not receiving proper medication management or treatment
and others who had been receiving care that are now facing obstacles.

Our goal is continued access to care. Our goal is patient empowerment.