Chronic Pain

Bracelets; Lockdown; Profound and Letdown

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Cross-posted from February 19 at 12:43pm

In the early evening of Valentines Day, February 14, 16, I was placed in handcuffs in front of my residence and transferred to ‪#‎MethodistHospital‬ psychiatric hold where I got to come home the evening of February 16th Initially, I was being transferred to another facility for a 72 hour hold and evaluation after the Dr. said I wasn’t a threat to others, but I was to myself. Upon re evaluation the afternoon of the 16th, the doctor via tele medicine (Robot) allowed me to go home. The bruises on my body (severe) are not self inflicted, but are the consequences of my actions. After being denied 2 types of medications I’ve been on over 10 years (non opioid, anti-depressent/nerve pain and an anticonvulsent, 2 others removed entirely and abruptly January 2015 and reduced from 90 to 30 on Cymbalta at the same time, being continuously delayed, denied, retaking these 2, being denied again, going through the withdrawals over and over and knowing how many of you go through the same or similar, I began to crack. Days prior I filed the appeal, the next day I sought psych help from one of my providers, but was never contacted back. Valentines day started beautifully. My husband set up our patio, and have a vase of flowers for me, coffee and it was peaceful. When I woke that morning, he said “don’t go back” referring to the bedroom. He said” close your eyes” I did. He led me to the patio, the best gift I could have been given. As the early afternoon and sunshine made it’s way in, I was updating hand notes previously taken on a legislative conference to send as minutes. I was listening to music. My emotions began to rise. I was upset that I couldn’t be there for Barby in the loss of her dad, or my mom who’s doing all she can to keep her heart beating, or my dad, or my children, even my sister. I saw that denial letter again as I was highlighting the inaccuracies it contained. I tossed back a 200 ml bottle of vodka. To be specific the $1.99 bottle of Tamiroff (the cheap crap) 40% alcohol by volume. It wasn’t the cause of my actions, but it was the liquid courage to tell it how it was and how it shouldn’t be, however misplaced. I remembered what WC took from me, what I was manipulated into 14 years ago. Something that even possibility, chance or a cure can never bring back and I realized how absolutely stupid I was to listen to my health team at the time. See? I’ve learned and I’ve grown since then and while now I have to tread carefully, I refuse to shut up for me, or for you. And I remember that when my case was initially force closed in 2003, I asked for 1 thing. Just one, and whether my 3 know that or not, I submitted it in writing. I asked for them to apologize to my children.

They’re still waiting

I stood in the street and screamed everything we go through. ‪#‎Chronic‬, ‪#‎IntractabIe‬ ‪#‎Pain‬, ‪#‎CRPS‬, ‪#‎DWC‬ ‪#‎California‬ ‪#‎MTUS‬, denials and delays, I screamed that if you take an opioid, tomorrow you’re defined an addict If you have a drink, guess what? Now you’re an alcoholic. I screamed that records should be maintained accurately and that I was DONE! With irresponsible people fucking up responsible lives. Was my act responsible? Perhaps not, but the cause and reason was.

My tongue was foul.

When I attempted to advocate for myself, speak of compassion and understanding, humanizing people for all, and reveal what I do and that I wasn’t blind to it all, I was considered hallucinating, fabricating, making it up, laughed at, demeaned and ridiculed. Being kind, caring, loving, understanding, respectful, honest, and trustworthy has got me no where. Incline my head to the higher ups as if they’re right, when really I just don’t have the guts to advocate on my own behalf and tell them they’re wrong.

A person (and patient) who’s done everything right has labeled me, defined me, and stigmatized me as someone who’s wrong and who’s done everyone wrong.
They wouldn’t even give me my SCS controller to turn off my stim. Flat increases stimulation. The nurse tried to give me some line about, not right now, she didn’t know what I was talking about, so I tried to tell her. Being dismissed from that made me see even more red, I called her stupid and told her to f off. Then I apologized because even in my upset state, I had the mind to know it really wasn’t her fault, she was just ignorant and uneducated.

I won’t be tolerating inaccuracies in records, healthcare or otherwise. I won’t be tolerating patients not being able to add note to correct the record. I won’t be hiding away under the blankets anymore, while people create their reports to satisfy their own job criteria, yet leave out pertinent information. I’ll be up to make sure you know you better get it right. And that people deserve truth about all else.

I’ll be sharing this story in it’s entirety, there’s so much more than this. My records, PRIUM, tox screen, etc are being sent to the International Pain Foundation. Via iPain someone gets the exclusive. I’ll decide free or fee. Oh and I got on the inside in all of it, now I know what goes on behind those scenes and those doors. I supposedly blew a high alcohol level. But here’s the deal. The bottle is still the same bottle it can’t magically become something else. The amount my body took in wasn’t more than that, I’m 200 pounds, so go figure. I’ve saved that little bottle as a souvenir. Excuses? Not at all. I’m not proud, but nor am I ashamed. My transparency will bring me back up, enough to prove, I haven’t lied, fabricated and I wasn’t on any illicit or illegal drugs which no one believed either.

On the contrary, the truth I’ve told and will tell
Will become me

(This is my #FightSong

… Take back my life song)

If I gave anything that night, I gave 2 things.

1. On command I removed my hands from my mama’s jacket pockets and complied without incident to place my hands behind my back. ‪#‎SacramentoSheriffsDepartment‬. Everyone should do the same in all situations.

2. I’ve given all of you the rest of my life; the one I can’t go back on.
My name is now associated with defiance and lock down.

Nothing else was considered
Sleep disorders, narcoleptic episodes
CSA (my brain doesn’t send the signals to my body to breathe)
Myoclonia
Withdrawal (probably over that by now, but the effects I’m still dealing with)
CRPS (Flare) + and an altered brain from the last 13 months of continuous WC hell.
CRPS (secondary depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD x 2 (diagnosed)

(excluded are internal diagnosis’)

My medication list has been updated each and every time I’m seen by my physicians. Yet, my discharge shows I’m on 11 meds, including Butrans, 5 and 10, a benzo and others. I’m on Lisinopril 1 x a.m, Atorvastatin 1 x p.m, Hydralazine as needed only, BP 180/+, Nuvigil daily, and BuTrans Patch/wk. ‪#‎DignityHealth‬ is linked to all my doctors. The hospital is part of Dignity Health. What’s the point of the EMR, PMP, PDMP or even a computer if it’s not properly used?

Understand why I kept saying “I’m fucking done” I’m done doesn’t equal I’m going to kill myself. I’m over it, doesn’t mean it either. I don’t want to be here doesn’t either. What they all are is some else’s perception and reality I could fart and my son would throw up his hands and say “I’m done!”

Check it out.. My voice will carry, I have the guts to say it, open eyes and touch hearts, contribute to change, maybe not for me, but hopefully for someone else

If I killed myself, I wouldn’t get to say it, now would I?

I’m sure they gave me Cymbalta, Zonegran and Hydralazine in the lockdown. I wasn’t suppose to be given any of those. Only Lisinopril and the Statin. No wonder my head hurts.

I have no regrets
I pray you don’t either.

To be continued…

Sincerely,
Twinkle VanFleet,
Advocacy Director, Healthcare Advisor, Consultant, Speaker, International Pain Foundation (iPain) powerofpain.org/leader-directory

Medtronic Ambassador medtronic.com tamethepain.com
Cureclick Ambassador cureclick.com trialreach.com
SPPAN leader http://sppan.aapainmanage.org
Legislative policy leader
Founder- CRPSA

TwinkleV Feb 23 2016 2

Twinkle V. February 23, 2016

“When no one else believes in you…
.. You better!” ~T

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On the 29th of January, I put in for my Cymbalta (30, 1x) and Zonegran (100, 2 x). I went to my grandson’s 10th birthday party yesterday (sick) but I played it like it was something else, I played it off so good and to the point of… shrugs. Yah, slam dunk withdrawal again. Pharmacy kept telling me my doc hadn’t refilled. (A lie) If you didn’t know the truth, say you don’t know. Today I get a letter in the mail from PRIUM. Cymbalta and Zonegran denied. Last January, 13 months ago, I was removed from 2 other medications entirely (one of which was Lidoderm) and reduced from 90 to 30 Cymbalta. I tried. I faked it to make it and I prayed it and played it. but was slipping harder than anyone could ever see, . There’s 1 med left and I know it’s next. Nearly every month I’m delayed, the months I’m not delayed by days, I am by weeks. I’m sure my brain is fried by now. I’m sick all the time from abrupt discontinuation, to trying to re stabilize after getting back on, to slam dunked again. Over and over and over. Those medications aren’t suppose to be slam dunked off of. They aren’t suppose to be abruptly discontinued. They are suppose to be weaned off to prevent seizures and adverse affects that can in some cases include death. Their letter is a lie, it contradicted 12 months ago where it did indicate Cymbalta and Zonegran and now says the CA MTUS doesn’t indicate for the treatment of neuropathic pain. (wrong). It also said because I’ve been treating with a dentist and was ON Norco 5/325 that the Cymbalta and Zonegran didn’t keep me OFF OPIOIDS. A fucking lie. As of the date of that letter. I had 3 dentist appointments. And I suffered and declined med, even tho I took some. I also got permission from my PMD prior to ever getting an RX , filling it or taking it. I have not asked for 1 single extra pill and I didn’t even fill the Rx I had for days later. But know what? It’s a done deal now. TOWER ENERGY GROUP – SCOTT CORNWELL ADJUSTER ARROWPOINT CAPITAL. You might want to get your facts right. You expect us to have ours accurate, yes? Let me see here in 1 year approximately $15,000 a year in medication management times 81 years of age. I’m still only 47. I got your game, you better get mine, too.

This letter said that I failed Lyrica and Neurontin (the reason it now says NO to Zonegran, but that I didn’t fail Carbamazepine or Lamotrigine. You got me stuck on stupid. For real? drugscom says make sure to tell your doctor if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol or triglycerides;
liver or kidney disease; ALL OF THE ABOVE. I get it, compromise one side for the other right? Which really means lower your spending. Sorry idiots, I settled for lifetime medical and didn’t take your money. Go on keep punishing me. Neither of these are NOT indicated for me. I didn’t appeal your last denials (January 2015) and I’m not appealing these either. Oh and by the way, next time you put bull shit in my letters, CA fail first/step therapy REFER TO AB 374 and know that if you’re going to quote taking and failing, you better also note all else that goes with it.

Because I think you failed something else…

Yourselves!

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The Travesty of Delays- California Workers’ Compensation SB 863 and AB 1124

https://www.facebook.com/notes/twinkle-vanfleet/the-travesty-of-delays-california-workers-compensation-sb-863-and-ab-1124/10153777634894774

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CRPS/RSD and Suicide

https://rsdadvisory.com/2013/05/05/crpsrsd-and-suicide/

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January 28 at 11:48am

@CDCgov ‪#‎CDC‬ ‪#‎BSC‬ ‪#‎NCIPC‬ RE: Today’s CDC Public Hearing

I would like to offer that in conversation this last week with Dr. Kolodny and others who advocate against the use of opioid pain care that I attempted to stress the importance of responsibility and education in stating that ”

“So much time proving how bad opioids are when we could have been educating, teaching personal responsibility.” (Twitter only allows so many characters)

A direct reply and quote from Dr. Kolodny

“Education & “teaching personal responsibility” will not make opioids less addictive or more effective.”

Already in today’s call responsibility has been spoken of as well as education several times. He came on and mentioned Guiding physicians. Isn’t guiding educating?

Other therapies can potentially be more harmful, anti depressants, anti seizure medications for the treatment of chronic pain, such as Cymbalta,
Neurontin, Nortriptyline, Amtriptolyne and similar medications also have misuse and abuse potential. When there is misuse, abuse and Overdose is already likely. Surgical intervention is contraindicated in patients with nerve damage, neuropathies, CRPS/RSD. Some of these opioid overdoses were in part due to other medications, mixtures and alcohol, not solely opioid. Integrated and functional restoration programs are important, but few insurances at all, cover them.

Can we try not to stress the decline in white people falling to addiction, when we didn’t seem to be as concerned about blacks, or minorities. many were like, oh well, let them kill themselves, calling them stupid. We’re your kids stupid? I think not. I find it disheartening.
People were people all along. Also personal responsibility is directly related to opioid overdoses. If these children or adults didn’t understand the risk, or what the medication may cause, then education was absolutely necessary by parents, family and spouses first and foremost before the medical community. It becomes a mutual responsibility. Not only the doctor who prescribed it.

If they can’t stop, it’s our responsibility to intervene on their behalf. and attempt to save their lives before it’s too late.

Pain is physical, and pain is emotional. Physical pain seeks quality of life, the emotional pain, those against opioid’s seek comfort for
their loss. Pain doesn’t discriminate.

Physiology also plays a major role in this topic. Lets not sacrifice people for people. Otherwise unintended consequences become intended
consequences. Responsibility in prescribing isn’t a one way street. We seek out the doctor, they don’t seek us out.

~Twinkle V. / Advocacy Director, International Pain Foundation ‪#‎iPain‬

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Mid Metatarsal Separation | Lis Franc Separation

https://rsdadvisory.com/2015/12/21/mid-metatarsal-seperation-lis-franc-seperation/

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Chronic pain, opioids, addiction and controversy

https://rsdadvisory.com/2016/01/25/chronic-pain-opioids-addiction-and-controversy/

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A Call for Action- 2016

A Call for Action 2016 by Twinkle VanFleet

https://rsdadvisory.com/2015/10/14/a-call-for-action-2016/

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Overcoming Challenging Obstacles

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Excerpts from, Overcoming Challenging Obstacles by Twinkle VanFleet

https://rsdadvisory.com/2015/11/24/overcoming-challenging-obstacles/

(Several pages and paragraphs not included at this time)

 

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Full details of this entire experience soon enough, including photos. —> Media, news, social media, video, radio, and and… and  🙂

 

 

Live On. Give On | 2015 Bakken Invitation Honoree | Pre-Review

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Week of January 11, 2016 (never shared)

As I get ready to fly to Kona, Hawaii for the Medtronic Bakken Awards, I’m trying to help myself overcome challenges related to traveling, weight bearing, pulmonary and sleep disorder issues. My breathing has been unstable this week, my head, neck, arms, and even female troubles have poked me in the side.

I had my appointment with my PMD yesterday to ask for considerations that might help me through as it’s becoming harder and harder to stay up on my own and maintain pain levels. I already put in for ADA assistance during the travel and at the hotel. Yet, I won’t allow myself to be confined to a wheelchair while there, so I’m carefully pacing myself so that my legs carry me. My Medtronic Spinal Cord Stimulator has been my pill for 10 years. I’ll be able to adjust for optimum relief, but to do so also means that I have to either not be on my legs/feet at that time or not raising my settings for added comfort. I learned a long time ago how to get the best out of it for me. I’ve also learned that there are times I have to trade relief for walking and I can’t always have both at the same time. I can set my stim to numb me, but because I am one of the lucky ones whose stimulation does reach the toes, increasing this setting can knock me off my legs. I reserve this for non weight bearing pain relief. This is not an adverse effect, but a plus and benefit that has to be noted and chosen to best fit my time and place.

My Auto Servo Ventilator is too big and quite heavy to carry, so I may have to go without it. Still working on that. Otherwise I’d be traveling with 2 medical devices and have little room for anything else.

At this time next week, we’ll have already landed and be apart of the meet and greet with each honoree, Medtronic and so many others. I’m looking forward to representing Power of Pain Foundation as the new International Pain Foundation, myself as honoree, each honoree for what they have also accomplished and given, advocacy, volunteering, my family, my closest friends, and Dr. Earl Bakken and Medtronic Philanthropy.

There are a few wonderful people and establishments I want to say thank you to for being apart of this with me.

The International Pain Foundation (IPF) #iPain – Previously known as the Power of Pain Foundation. http://powerofpain.org/

Sacramento Pain Clinic – Dr. Michael Levin – Since 2004. Not just a Pain Management Doctor, but a patient advocate going above and beyond his own job for his patients.)

http://www.sacpainclinic.com/sacpain.php

Jacob Chopourian, Therapy Representative, Pain Therapist, Medtronic Inc Neuromodulation, Sacramento, California. www.medtronic.com

(Jacob has been part of my surgical team. He’s also adjusted me as needed. When I had my 9 year battery replaced I donated back to Medtronic my carrying bag, handheld stim (my stim) case, charger, hip straps, antenna, and manuals so that someone who needed these items in whole or in part could have them. Jacob came to my home to pick it up. Amazing man.)

Katie Tamez, Clinical Specialist, Pain Therapy, Medtronic Inc
Neuromodulation. Sacramento, California. www.medtronic.com

(Katie has worked to fine tune me, too.) I’ve no longer needed the 3 programs I started with many years ago, sitting, walking, sleeping. I use a single program with pulse. Wonderful lady.)

Compass Center for Functional Restoration – (Dr. Michael Levin MD)  Rick Wurster MSG, MPT, BCIAC  http://www.sacpainclinic.com/compass.php

(The center that taught me all there is about pain, physically, emotionally and psychologically. How to live with it using the mind, spirit and body to overcome flareups and maintain a modicum of sanity. Because of them I’ve been able to teach others what they taught me and find some joy and laughter in pain.)

Western Dental – Elk Grove Florin Road, Elk Grove, California

Dr. Tooloei, Staff.

You did great. Thank you for trying before I left for Hawaii. Trying meant enough to me.

Trudy Thomas, Featured BlogTalkRadio Host of the Living with HOPE Radio show on the Body, Mind and Spirit Network.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebodymindandspiritnetwork
So proud of you and all you’ve given, selflessly. Happy that we have each other and our friendship survives the things we can’t do anymore.
Honored to have been both your co-host and guest speaker and warmed that you will always be family. Thank you for being all that I can count on as honorific leader/admin of my group. I love you!

Roy, MD Junction – http://www.MDJunction.com (Honored to have lead your Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Support Group for years.

http://www.mdjunction.com/reflex-sympathetic-dystrophy

Glad to have lead the ADHD support group on behalf of the children and parents who needed someone to oversee it. Pleased to still be a Senior Member and
MDJ Advocate. Love you all!)

Barby Ingle, www.BarbyIngle.com
(Together we can! Together we will! And together we are! Through MDJ and Trudy we found each other. I’ll forever remember the ones who cherished me for cherishing them. All 3 of you! Onward I go with #iPain. I love you!)

My Mom and Dad(s) (I know my dad is watching over. Gone since I was 22. My mom and dad was married 25 years when I closed his eyes. My mom and dad have been married 20 years and dated prior to that. So Mr. Don Tresca has been my father just as long as my birth dad was. I pray I’ve honored them all evenly and fairly as their daughter. I love you!)

Erik, Kharisma, Rikki, Kurtis and De’Mantai (my 5 lights). (Awards and recognition is great but not if they are seemingly meaningless to those that it should have mattered most, too.
There’s so much I’ve advocated for on your behalf’s that you’ve never even seen. I know that it all gets stale at some point but if you only knew it was never more for someone else than it was for you. Seek and you shall find.  love you! Ohana.)

I’m so glad Daddy saw, felt, and knows now. Sometimes it takes a miracle and that miracle came. It’s all good. Ask him ~winks

Annie-Marie Garcia (30 years! Time in between where we had gaps because life does that with work and loss. We don’t want to add burden to those we love or stomp on someone else’s, okay. That’s what we tell ourselves at least. I’m glad I got you now in the illness you should have never ended up with. I wish I was there when you were first going through it and if only I had known. Lets never let anything separate us again. For you and I, we have something special, we can see each other every day, or have weeks, months or years go by, but we always know that when it comes down to it, we are the ride or die. I love you!)

Maryann Kupidlowski Stafford (My sister since our babies were babies. Young teen daughters. If we weren’t there together we would have never met. Your curiosity, my extended learning, teaching. We both did, and we both gave, mine was just for extending natural order A decade? 12, 13. Time flies. Here we are moving forward in light, love and tomorrow. I love you!)

PK Saint-Amour (Bruja, pain, strength and the sight. Light and the “F’off. I so love you for being courageous in all of it. I’m so glad that you’re my sister in knowledge and fight. I love you!) https://www.facebook.com/groups/InvisibleWarriors/

Eileen McCready (A long time now too, background, foreground, compassion and understanding beyond pain. Sister of mine, always. I love you!)

Saskia Hubelmeijer (My international sister who does all she can in the Netherlands despite pain and hardship, and for America, too. Who’s assisted in leading my group since 2011, as formal admin and informal I love you!)

Billy Rose (Thank you brother for leading light and love above pain and hurt for all people. You demonstrate what the world needs more of and you are providing the change needed to overcome it all again) I love you!

The Council (We are who we are and one day when the earth is over, or death takes us, we’ll still be us, together, teaching, giving, inspiring, awakening those asleep all in their own time) I love you all. http://www.councilofenlightened.org/

The Sacramento News & Review (For featuring my voice and passion over 20 years ago) November 17, 1994, Speaking Out Edition) https://rsdadvisory.com/2015/07/24/sacramento-news-review-november-17-1994-speaking-out/

https://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/home

ECV Chapter 3 (Clampers/widders) E. Clampus Vitus was established in 1849.

http://ecv3.net/    http://www.ecvgazette.com/

(In memory of IRJR http://www.irjr.com/, a great man, friend, Clamper, who many years ago when founded Widders Web honored me with his chat program instead of the one I was using for us, I used his to then honor what he started years previous to that. http://www.irjr.com/widderschat/  While the pages are currently not found and the chat needs updating, I wanted to thank him again. Mr. IRJR is no longer with us.

SPPAN (State Pain Policy Advocacy Network) (I hope we continue on)

RSD(S)-CRPS Advisories

(Founded by me, for you)

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Refer to December 27, 2015

https://rsdadvisory.com/2015/12/23/twinkle-vanfleet-2015-honoree/

To be continued!…

The best is yet to come.

Dr.Bakken and Twinkle VanFleet2

Twinkle VanFleet, 2015 Bakken Invitaton Honoree, Sacramento CA, #iPain, with Dr. Earl Bakken Medtronic Co-Founder, Kona Hawaii. Awards reception. January 16, 2016.

 

http://bakkeninvitation.medtronic.com/honorees-winners/

http://bakkeninvitation.medtronic.com/honorees-winners/2015/twinkle-van-fleet/index.htm

http://newsroom.medtronic.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=251324&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=1822170

http://newsroom.medtronic.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=251324&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=2122319

http://www.nasdaq.com/press-release/the-medtronic-bakken-invitation-award-honors-12-patients-from-around-the-world-for-giving-back-20151214-00566.

http://www.otcmarkets.com/stock/MDT/news

 

 

 

Chronic pain, opioids, addiction and controversy

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Whale Watching Cruise - Beautiful

I’m not sure how I should present this. Do you want it kind, sincere, and respectful, or do you need it blunt, open and firm? Do you want it me for you, or you against me, us? Do you want it white or black? Love, care and light or a little profanity to remind you that the world isn’t one way or the other?

You can judge me, you already have. Maybe you need something to judge me for. I refuse to allow you to add me to any negative category. I’m not a little kid anymore and I won’t be silenced because you think your ideals are above someone else’s. I’m heading on 50.

I’ve been on and off opioids since I was 22. Just because my life sucks and I’ve dealt with surgery after surgery, procedure after procedure, diagnosis after diagnosis, and I’ve been intractable for 15 years doesn’t mean I chase the pain to get the medication. I haven’t. There has not been a single time that I went seeking medication I shouldn’t have. My random pee tests are clean and prior to ever being injured my work took my hair, follicles that went back a year for drug testing. And while it’s none of your business in situations like this, where the anti opioid groups are stead fast against that kind of pain relief, I’m compelled to tell my business to justify my reason for taking it and the reason the physician prescribed it.

My pill is my SCS Spinal Cord Stimulator. It has been since 2006. I use a single low dose partial agonist and partial antagonist pain medication. There is no high. I take nothing for break through. I take Zonegran 100, 2x and Cymbalta 30, 1x. Nuvigil (Sleep disorders- Central Sleep Apnea with Cheyne Stokes, + Obstructive. Mixed/Complex/Auto Servo Ventilator (ASV) and maintenance for high blood pressure, Lisinopril, Hydralazine and Lipitor. There you go, now you know it!

If you’re a physician you have to know that blood pressure can be compromised by pain levels. Well.. at least that is what I am always told by physicians unrelated to one another, my blood pressure is too high because of physical pain.

Interesting right? Maybe not.

Dr. Andrew Kolodny replied to my post on Twitter, stating, paraphrasing, not a direct quote, education and personal responsibility doesn’t make opioids more effective or deter abuse.

Really? Then why is there a CDC work group to attempt just that? I’m not going to go into specifics because you can all find it for yourself, and I’m not going to give the run down of the call because it’s public record.  I was on that call. See the Federal Register.

One physician shared that she prescribed not knowing? For real? You didn’t know with your education and training that prescribing opioids were… .um opioids? (Where was your education and common sense on that one and if you weren’t educated as you claimed, why didn’t you seek it for the benefit and well being of YOU and YOUR patients) Okay, so… that was your attempt to show the call how horrible the opioid is and minimize PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. Backfire!

Education is crucial. Point made.

Hate me yet?

Dr. Kolodny states that personal responsibility doesn’t matter. Really Doctor? That’s a lie! Because when someone falters you, yours or someone you’re advocating for it absolutely matters.

My nature is to say I’m sorry, I’m sorry for all of you who’ve lost. Lost to addiction, and death. But I cannot be sorry that I’m fair, even, and compassionate for the suffering AND regardless of what they are suffering with or for.  hm, well I don’t want to call persons weak, just unable to hold back heading for another, whether it be a chemical hook or simply choice.

Is it bad word time? For fuck sake be responsible for you and yours! If your child was a minor at the time of receiving medications that turned out to be harmful, you were responsible. You, the parent, or guardian! If the child was an adult of legal age in their jurisdiction, they are then responsible. And.. parents know better than anyone, more than a physician, more than a pharmacist, that something is up or wrong with their offspring. Minor or adult, we know, and if we claim we never did we’re not only lying to others but we’re deceiving ourselves. If you never saw the signs? Ouch, you just didn’t care to look for it. And if you couldn’t see it? Have a little compassion, how could you ever expect the doctor to see it? Because he is a doctor? Not true, we’re parents. 15-30 minutes a doctor visit at best compared to our lifetime with our kids. Minutes upon minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.

Hate me yet?

If my child went to the doctor, claimed pain, and I don’t even care at this point in writing this if the kid was in pain or wasn’t, but took the Rx, filled it, took the medication as prescribed, misused it,…and then decided to throw back (you know, toss some alcohol)

My child is to blame. Not the physician! We seek care from doctors, they do not seek us out. We tell them what we tell them and they base the prescription of the truth or shit we give them. We do not have to take that Rx to the pharmacy, we do not have to fill it and we certainly don’t have to put it in our body. It’s not fair to call them pushers. How can they push, when a person went to them? A pusher is someone who seeks another out to push a drug on them.

Does it even matter after all this if the medication was taken as prescribed? Nope! Because the only way to overdose is to misuse. If the doctor prescribed a medication adverse to another medication the patient is already taking I would be advocating for you and the error. Dang, I feel bad for back hands I’m going to get for this, but doesn’t anyone get it?

Maybe no mix, maybe no alcohol, great! Good job! Still the only way to overdose is to misuse unless another adverse complication was present.

I’m disgusted by a world that rather blame someone else than accept the consequences of their own actions. Oh and yes I’ve been hurt. Damaged in fact from other’s irresponsibility and I do advocate for that change but I don’t harm others on behalf of myself.

According to Dr. Kolodny, personal responsibility doesn’t matter. Does this apply then to vehicles, officers, surgeons, pilots? I think I know his answer, of course, but he’s already let them off the hook. And hey that’s okay! After all, why should anyone be responsible for anything they do. Blame it on the traffic, the felon, the patient, or the passengers.

Contrary to what it may seem, I do respect the Doctor. I’m not inclined to agree with his adamant perception of placing all people who use opioid relief as addicts, or heading for addiction. Sorry, don’t care what a few images of the brain or a poll might indicate. There’s billions of people in the world, millions on medications, and a fraction to insinuate possibility or potential from dependency to addiction.

Pain in general causes advocacy. Loss instigates the passion to make a wrong right. So while chronic pain patients are being punished, ridiculed, humiliated, stigmatized, belittled, what about your pain? Your mental pain urged the controversy against opioid managed pain care versus loss of livelihood.. Ours is physical, yours is mental and emotional.

I have a hard time understanding why any of you care what we take when you won’t be there if we overdose or commit suicide. You’re not there to tell someone striving to make it, good job, proud of you. I have a hard time being used to make your point and profits.

I have a hard time with you looking down at us, when you don’t even know us. You don’t even want to walk in our shoes to feel us. But you want us to walk in yours and feel you.

Maybe, instead of saying “people” which implies all (It is the plural form) how about some, many or most (in your opinion) otherwise you are separating us from you. You make it as if everyone is horrible, addicted, heading for addiction, stronger meds, etc. Everyone but you and yours (your groups).

Then we speak out and you become holier than thou against us whiny, complaining, lazy, drug seeking, pain complaining “people”.

Guilt is the hardest human emotion to overcome.

All we had to do was work together, all we had to do was listen to one another. We could have cared for each other. And in the long run, the children might have truly been educated to know better.

When we get a physician as Dr. Kolodny implied stating education is meaningless? I have to disagree. Education educates, I’m trying not to roll my eyes because he kinda dummied himself down on that. No disrespect intended.

You may dislike me, think I’m a b*tch, judgmental, or talking too much (not true, you’ve already judged me/us…  and quite vocally I might add, news, columns, etc )  and I’ve only just begun, but…

I still love all of you and would fight for YOU if no one else did.

That’s the difference between you and I.

 

I wish you all well,

And enough.

~Twinkle V.

 

 

 

Thar Pharmaceuticals drug to undergo phase 3 trial | Pittsburgh Post-Gazette – #CRPS

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January 21, 2016

By Kris B. Mamula / Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Thar Pharmaceuticals Inc. has received Food and Drug Administration approval for phase 3 clinical trials of its core product, dubbed T-121. Marketing of the oral drug, which will be used to treat severe, persistent pain, is expected by 2019, according to President and CEO Raymond Houck.“Getting to phase 3 is a big deal,” said Mr. Houck, 58.Phase 3 trials last up to four years. The test is intended to gauge a drug compound’s effectiveness, according to the FDA. Only 25 percent to 30 percent of drugs reach phase 3.Thar, which was founded in 2008 and employs seven people, is targeting complex regional pain syndrome, a condition that usually follows a bone fracture, serious burn or other trauma. About 70,000 people nationwide experience such pain, which can abate over time or become a disabling condition.There are no Food and Drug Administration-approved treatments for the pain. Thar developed the drug through the FDA’s orphan disease program, which allows for expedited review, tax credits and other competitive advantages for medications that help fewer than 200,000 people. Historically, big drug companies have shunned diseases that affect few people, focusing instead on making the next blockbuster statin, a medication taken by millions of people for high cholesterol.But Big Pharma has been increasingly paying attention to orphan disease treatments because of the potentially big paybacks for new prescription medications. Thar is not yet profitable and funding for operations has come from private investors.Thar’s focus is converting intravenously administered medications into ones that can be taken orally, preferred by health insurers because oral drugs are less costly to administer. Patients also tend to prefer oral drugs because administration is noninvasive.Thar’s T-121 is an oral version of Novartis’ intravenous-only zoledronic acid, which is sold under the Zometra brand name and prescribed to prevent or treat weakened bones and other conditions. Zometra’s safety record is expected to further speed FDA review of Thar’s oral version, Mr. Houck said.

Read the full article for more information:

Source: Thar Pharmaceuticals drug to undergo phase 3 trial | Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Ohana (For Dr. Earl Bakken)

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by Twinkle VanFleet

Twinkle VanFleet 2015 Bakken Invitation Award Honoree_1

Front and back

He validated the spirit
And it’s heart
And restored the breath
Of a nearing depart

Acknowledging the path
And it’s hope
Diversity rising
It’s a slippery slope

Catching the reason
Determination and light
In giving to others
The fire and flight

for…

Life, love, and empathy
We have to discuss
Drowning
Counting
On all of us

7, 8, 9
Losing time
Sharing
Your paradigm

Break down,
Nothing on me
Fight and fall,
Nope pain can’t stop she

Crazy, maybe, perception
Not really though
Trinity, affinity
Visions and missions to lead for

She’s rising,
They know she(‘s) flying
As above, so below
The gift of devising

Got you
Got us
Got me
superfluous

Honi; spirit and power
The honoring art
Ha; the breath of life
A spiritual kiss of the hearts

Who could have known
It wasn’t alone
Ohana means family
Family is home.

For Dr. Earl Bakken, Medtronic Philanthropy, #LiveOnGiveOn

With love and admiration on behalf of myself and #iPain  www.powerofpain.org

Mahalo

©2016 Twinkle VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/  May be shared. Permission required for any other use.

Ohana means family. Family means no one left behind… or forgotten.

Mid Metatarsal Separation | Lis Franc Separation

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“Lisfranc joint injuries are rare, complex and often misdiagnosed. Typical signs and symptoms include pain, swelling and the inability to bear weight. Clinically, these injuries vary from mild sprains to fracture-dislocations. On physical examination, swelling is found primarily over the midfoot region. Pain is elicited with palpation along the tarsometatarsal articulations, and force applied to this area may elicit medial or lateral pain. Radiographs showing diastasis of the normal architecture confirm the presence of a severe sprain and possible dislocation. Negative standard and weight-bearing radiographs do not rule out a mild (grade I) or moderate (grade II) sprain. Reevaluation may be necessary if pain and swelling continue for 10 days after the injury. Proper treatment of a mild to moderate Lisfranc injury improves the chance of successful healing and reduces the likelihood of complications. Patients with fractures and fracture-dislocations should be referred for surgical management.

The Lisfranc joint, or tarsometatarsal articulation of the foot, is named for Jacques Lisfranc (1790–1847), a field surgeon in Napoleon’s army. Lisfranc described an amputation performed through this joint because of gangrene that developed after an injury incurred when a soldier fell off a horse with his foot caught in the stirrup.1,2 The incidence of Lisfranc joint fracture–dislocations is one case per 55,000 persons each year.2,3 Thus, these injuries account for fewer than 1 percent of all fractures.2,3 As many as 20 percent of Lisfranc joint injuries are missed on initial anteroposterior and oblique radiographs.2–4

Lisfranc joint fracture–dislocations and sprains can be caused by high-energy forces in motor vehicle crashes, industrial accidents and falls from high places.1–3 Occasionally, these injuries result from a less stressful mechanism, such as a twisting fall. Since Lisfranc joint fracture–dislocations and sprains carry a high risk of chronic secondary disability,2 physicians should maintain a high index of suspicion for these injuries in patients with foot injuries characterized by marked swelling, tarsometatarsal joint tenderness and the inability to bear weight.” Lisfranc Injury of the Foot: A Commonly Missed Diagnosis (Para 1, 2, 3) http://www.aafp.org/afp/1998/0701/p118.html

CRPSRSD Awareness Twinkle V. @rsdcrpsfire - R Foot Nov 10, 15_1

Twinkle V. CRPS 2 November 10, 2015 DOI 1/26/2001

From misdiagnosed to a hell ride I’m still on, I’ve managed to find a glimpse of heaven in it all because I do work with me so that I’m not a total disappointment on myself or society. A bit over a week ago I was banned from Facebook. I had to provide documentation of proof of identity to return. I could have declined, but I was in a tight spot having a group there. Facebook’s policy is that everyone is to use the name they are known as offline, on Facebook, so that others know who they are. Sure we might say well if I’m known as this or that I should be able to use this or that. I hope people stay off me now. I’m me and I’m tired of having to prove it. We all know how many incognito accounts are on there. How many fake names, symbolism. People who have more than 3 accounts of various sorts. I have one account, I’ve never had another. Ever! I’ve always used my name. Once I was blocked, I had to verify me before being allowed full account privileges again. I was temporarily granted access back once I sent the document.

I’m Twinkle, I’m verified, (and proven myself yet again) and I hope that now that I have, who ever reported me, and each of you who want to refer to me as something different will either leave me be or respect that I haven’t ask you the same, or violated your privacy, or attempted to humiliate you, but instead realize that your actions have impacts.

Perhaps I should ask for your identification online and in person.

Between the diagnosis’ obstacles, I still manage to put in a few hours a month volunteering because it’s important that we find consistent tasks and daily agendas. When I’m not doing those things, I’m inclined to spend time in creative arts, things that have nothing to do with chats, Facebook, or social media until which time I might either post to share or keep to myself for another day. I love music and words and I love pieces and parts of all of it. I know the time is coming I won’t be able to stay up on my own anymore. Doze off all day long because you have the excessive daytime sleepiness and narcoleptic episodes, but you don’t sleep at night because you have the complex apnea, your brain doesn’t even send the signal for you to breathe, and your machine forces you to breathe all night long. None of which counts the numerous times you wake too because your spine has deteriorated, your legs are CRPS crazy, your arms fail you, and you just want to get comfortable. You have at least 10 + other diagnosis (internal and organ) and refuse to be beaten!

Each time the foot reaches the ground, pain isn’t just pain, you’re immediately in your head (coping), no reason to whine or complain. It certainly isn’t a reason to want to use pain medication, but it’s the very reason I know pain, understand it, and feel it for others beyond what I knew prior. It’s the very reason I do what I do. Remove the survival, you remove the very reason for living. Only so much can be done solo.

So when I say I did that first near 9 months of intense PT just to have “learned” to walk again? Truth! When I say I push through it each day? Truth! When I say intractable, forever? Truth! The Lis Franc screw remained for 6 months before removal and rehabilitation. My journey hadn’t even started yet at that point. Even in the still, you have to use your mind to bring it down. Every day is ongoing physical rehabilitation with cognitive assists.

The only chance I had was the one I gave myself.

I think I’m doing pretty darned good for doing so darned bad.

 

Mid Metatarsal Separation/Lis Franc Separation

http://orthopedics.about.com/cs/footproblems/a/lisfranc.htm

Lisfranc Injury of the Foot: A Commonly Missed Diagnosis

http://www.aafp.org/afp/1998/0701/p118.html

Lisfranc Injuries

http://www.foothealthfacts.org/footankleinfo/lisfranc_injuries.htm

Mirage

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It’s unfortunate that as pain patients we have to play the game you want us to in order to be accepted into society. In the midst of the CDC’s Opioid Prescribing Guidelines that are being implemented and much of the commentary by various members of the medical community, PROP or anti opioid groups I’m left with a single phrase of truth. “I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t.” And so are you!
Pain patients should just push through it right? Okay! We should stop whining, quit complaining, cease everything you consider negative and survive it, right? Damned straight I’m right! But check it out! As soon as we do, to appease you, we’re well enough, we fabricated it, malingerers, and we’re a yxz with predominate pain as described in the ICD 10. We’re fine if we do and we’re lazy cry babies if we don’t. Oh and that pain we have? We’re just obsessed. Are you sure about that?
Comments are finally open-
Your voice is important

Federal Register Notice: Proposed 2016 Guideline for Prescribing Opioids for Chronic Pain

You finally have the opportunity to read what is included.
CDC Guideline for Prescribing Opioids for Chronic Pain — United States, 2016
I’ll be sure to have my death certificate fought in any instance, including suicide.
Enough really is enough already!

Mirage

December212012byKharismaVanFleet

By Twinkle VanFleet

Montage,
Entourage

Applause,
Just a Mirage

Envision,
Collision, precision.

Missions

Decision, revision
Division, supervision

Manifested, suggested

Visions,
Acquisition, recondition

Provisions

Volition, superstition,
Intuition

Illusion
Delusion,
Fruition,

Why?
Solutions

It’s all a ..
Mirage
A smudge on the collage.

©2015 Twinkle VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved. Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

 

Twinkle V December 12, & 15 2015 #CRPS #StrongerThanPain

December 12 and December 15th. Still haven’t combed out them braids. 

The funny thing is that some of us fake it to make it, but really…
It’s just a mirage.

 

Creating a Better You | Barby Ingle

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barbyingle.com

Barby Ingle barbyingle.com

I love it when people say, ‘you look so young’ and ‘I thought you were in your late twenties’. If a few people say it, it may just be a compliment, but for me, many say it. I believe age is an option. Yes, we gain a physical number on paper each year but when you look at your age, most think ‘how do I feel’. Age in this instance is a state of mind. I think people see me as younger than I am because I do look young on the outside, but I also have a playful personality. I know what I have lost, they don’t. Most in my life don’t know who I was, what I was capable of, how athletic I was. They know the person they see in front of them. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs (that are not prescribed to me). So when people say, become a better you, what does that mean for those of us who are already trying to be the best we can be? For me it meant I wish someone would have told me about preparing for things that we may face or someone we love may face (chronic pain, disease, financial burdens, how to navigate the health system and life in general for that matter). I wish that I didn’t take life for granted when I was healthy. I had many experiences, most were great. I took them for granted until developing Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy which stopped me in my tracks.  I met my primary care provider (PCP) in 2005. When we met I was in a wheelchair, bathed about once every 7-10 days, and had dystonia in my right hand, arm and foot. I had cut off most of my hair to make it easier on me. I am sure I looked a mess. He never commented to me on how I looked. He worked to get me feeling better he became the first on my ‘team’. He didn’t know what I used to look like. He was shocked to find out that I was a former model, pageant queen, cheerleader, and athlete. After receiving infusion therapy in 2009, I went to see him. I went from wheelchair to walking with him as my main health provider. I changed my hair, I changed my clothes. Two things I could have done before feeling better, but I didn’t put the effort in on most days. When he saw the new me, he asked my husband how it feels to be with a woman who is getting younger. It’s not that I was getting younger, it is my state of mind improved. Our beliefs and behaviors must shift when we are living with a chronic pain disease, no matter what stage we are in. This shift determines how we feel about our life and health. Often times I would psych myself out. I would say to myself, I can’t do this, I can’t do that. I learned through trial and error what my boundaries are. I kept a journal to learn about myself and I found that my bounds were far past where I thought in my mind. I found that I needed to celebrate each moment, each day. When things got tough and I had to spend days/weeks/months in bed I didn’t need to get down on myself or put stress on myself for what I wasn’t doing. I kept a journal and a made a bucket list during those times. As time has passed, I found ways to accomplish those tasks and come up with new ones. I found that completing tasks is easier, quicker, and more accessible when I live through motivation of starting where I want to end up. Putting it in writing and organizing a plan of action (that is adjustable) is how I began to accomplish my goals. I found personal incentive by manifesting something on the outside first. I changed my hair. It was a simple enough start. It led me to buying a few new outfits. I created a goal of doing more life experiences instead of gathering stuff to sit around me. I started with 4 outfits that are my ‘experience outfits’, and then came up with activities where I could use the outfits. Starting small on the outside helps to manifest how I feel on inside. Keeping track of where I have been and where I want to be showed me that I am of worth. Eventually my mind and insides caught up to my outward feeling. Was I perfect? No. Was I out of chronic pain? No.  But, I did learn to count my miracles. An experience can’t be taken away from you unless you let it go. Let go of the negative and focus on the positive; in your mind, heart and outside. Keep working on yourself and start with a few goals. Give yourself ‘what to do’s’ instead of just opposing all of the positive things you could have in life. Even in pain you can find ways to get the end of each goal. To change you, YOU have to practice. Am I saying you can just change your pain away? No way, not at all. I am saying you have the ability in you to change how you face your challenges. Find ways to recognize, understand, and consolidate challenges to see the goals you have set come to be. Don’t worry about timelines. If it takes a healthy person 4 years to graduate college, don’t feel bad if it takes you ten. It is okay. Remember, a win is a win. You don’t lose until you give up. Strive to understand the overall gist of your decisions and don’t let setbacks, others’ negativity, others’ guilt beat out your decision. You have the right to be the best YOU possible; star

Source: Creating a Better You | Barby Ingle

Overcoming Challenging Obstacles

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Excerpts from, Overcoming Challenging Obstacles by Twinkle VanFleet below.

The past few years have been a test of strength, endurance, and possibilities amidst constant setbacks to overcome. 5 years after the injury that led to my CRPS, I did go back to school for a degree in Corporate Publishing. At the end of 2006 I took leave to have my permanent Spinal Cord Stimulator implanted and I returned approximately 10 weeks later. Due to not being able to drive any longer, my husband took me and picked me up in between his own full-time work schedule. By 2007, I wasn’t able to keep up any longer. My grandson was born in 2006, too. My husbands first heart attack when he was 37, 2 stent placements, his Diabetes diagnosis, he only used accumulated vacation time for it and returned to work in a weeks time. In 2007, we bought or first home, but he also lost his 13 year career and stability when his company C.S.A.A. (AAA) relocated out of California. I continued to raise awareness for chronic pain, met Trudy Thomas, became a leader at MD Junction’s RSD Support and remained for 3 years. My own support group which I began on My Space in 2003 was moved to Facebook, yet I didn’t move the members with it. I like for people to find us rather than to send out invites or notify. I met Barby through Trudy. My son had a traumatic brain injury in August of 2011 and my husband had a second heart attack within a year. I stayed in the PICU with Ozra for 10 days. In December of 2012 I stayed at the hospital with my husband for the entire 9 days during his quadruple bypass surgery, the first few days I slept in the van. In 2012, I had Gall bladder surgery and in 2013 I had another Gall bladder surgery which included the removal of part of my liver and multiple hemangioma’s. https://rsdadvisory.com/2013/07/17/gall-bladder-fiasco-continued-and-hopefully-the-final-chapter/

2014 my daughters liver disease, our sons birth defect diagnosis from Shriners Children’s Hospital unrelated to his TBI and my surgery to have my SCS battery replaced. Piece of cake, mostly. 2015 started with a bang and 3 weeks of hard Cymbalta, Zonegran, and Clonazapam withdrawal due to WC delaying Rx refills. The other 2 weren’t filled either, but really no effects from them as much as the other 3. I no longer take Clonazapam or get the Lidoderm. It hasn’t been easy, especially when Clonazapam did help and pain management medication was and is already at the lowest minimum. I already do all that I can to minimize my own agony and I practice these coping strategies each and every day. My husband just had surgery to repair a torn shoulder a few months ago and we just learned by MRI he has another tear in his knee. We’re still learning all we can at Stanford for our daughter. Rikki is managing well. My purpose is in helping others, it’s all I’ve ever done one way or another, but it isn’t my passion. I’ve come to realize it can’t be. It’s not the fire flickering about the dancing flames that motivates my spirit to fly. My bucket-list goal survives all this. It’s not writing, I have that. It’s not policy, POP gave me that opportunity again. It’s much deeper than that, at least for me. Our son and oldest daughter are moving in together on the 1st. My man and I will have our home to ourselves. January 26th begins my 16th year. I’m not sure where 2016 will take us, I just know I take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ … for mine.

Overcoming Challenging Obstacles

“Pain isn’t in our head, but it is in our brain, and our minds. Pain is sent from the spinal cord, sending messages to our brain, back to our spinal cord and up and down those nerve pathways. Pain signals reach our endorphins, limbic system, https://www.dartmouth.edu/~rswenson/NeuroSci/chapter_9.html hypothalamus, where they then affect our emotions and other bodily functions. http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=10812

Functional restoration afforded me lessons and insight to be able to push on. Sometimes we already realize these lessons for someone else, but when it’s us, we don’t recognize it the same, we change, unless we change us back.

It’s a daily process to overcome additional challenges brought on by chronic or intractable pain. It’s moment by moment at times. Having to stop something suddenly to practice breathing exercises to decrease a stress situation brought on by either emotion or a spike in pain, bring a rise in blood pressure down, use focal points, imagery or going to my “happy place” in my mind to ease myself.

“I will walk, when I cannot walk I will carry myself, when I cannot carry myself, I will fly” ©2009-2015 Twinkle VanFleet/@rsdcrpsfire Written while attending Compass Center for Functional Restoration

John C. Thomas, PhD, Rick Wurster MSG, MPT, ABP, BCIAC, Leticia Camarena M. A., Tatyana Yatsenko, Larry Lane, Patient, Patient, Twinkle VanFleet, Patient. Compass Center for Functional Restoration Graduation July 17, 2009

I began recording both my P & E. I tracked my “pain” level and my “emotional” level using the same Numeric Rating Scale. The 11 point 0 – 10 scale where 0 represents “no pain” and 10 represents “worse pain imaginable”, “as bad as I can imagine” or unimaginable. I don’t do this anymore because I’ve learned to have the awareness without tracking, but for example at the moment I logged, my E/emotions/stress was an 8 and my P/pain/physical was a 5, I would eventually learn that my pain level would most likely rise anytime. I had to use my cognitive tools right away to reduce my stressors in order to manage the physical pain. I discussed this concept at MDJunction.com when I was a group leader in the RSD Support Forum in 2009.

Life itself can be hard, add pain to it, and it’s even harder. It can be managed with the right tools. It’s never going to be perfect, but we can make it as comfortable or as tolerable as possible for ourselves. Removing or decreasing triggers that instigate pain have eased me. I can’t watch the internet all day. It’s not because I don’t love or care for everyone. It’s because there are pain triggers everywhere. When we see images, graphics, memes of illness or disease scrolling by, especially our own, a trigger can occur. I’ve learned over the years to recognize this. I have the awareness to understand that I can be a contributing factor in my own discomfort.

I never went to preschool and Kindergarten was only for a week or two. I started school in the first grade. I was taught at home and I was reading at advanced levels by the age of 5. My comprehension and spelling ability was always above average. While I either suppressed it or just didn’t care to acknowledge it, I did go to special classes in the first and second grade because I couldn’t pronounce the letter’s S and T in words and sentences properly. I was a critical thinker immediately in life. http://www.criticalthinking.org/pages/defining-critical-thinking/766

By the time I got to my 4th elementary school in the middle of the school year in the second grade, I didn’t have to tell anyone I went to the classes with the special ones. Those new kids and that neighborhood became the ones I grew up with until I left Sacramento in October of the 9th grade to move to L.A. County for my dad’s job. The rest of that year carried with it a bit of insecurity. I started Drama at my new high school and as a Junior I was in second year advanced drama, speech, debate and thespian clubs, involved in school plays, in chamber singers for a while, I swirled the baton too, but chose my priorities and kept to the one’s I still use today. By the middle of the 11th grade I was off to the high desert where my parents bought a home. I’ve been in 4 high schools, 2 Junior high’s due to the district split and several elementary. I learned to adapt young. I may not like it, but I do it fairly well. I’m a survivor of repeated childhood molestation and indirect physical and emotional abuse.

I’ve been an Empath http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html for as long as I can remember. I can vividly still remember leaving my teething ring on the back metal bumper edge of my dad’s best friend’s pickup truck and them driving away with it. I’m hypersensitive to people, places and things sometimes to my own detriment, yet I’m also a no-nonsense girl. I’m inclined to the natural order of things, including man and woman, but I’m not a doormat. I love my crazy and he does, too! Why? Because it’s really not all that crazy, I just like to have it appear so in the midst all the uncertainty in life. Laughing is the best medicine of all. If I can make you laugh, give you something to laugh at even if it’s at my own expense, I’m thrilled to have been of service.”

Empathy Vs Sympathy

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy

Sure there are times I think “Dang, no one gets it!” I don’t mean in everyday situations, I mean in my critical thinking. Those who are on the same page fear agreeing openly until my thought, reasoning, even an educated statement that I make is validated by someone with high education, authority or status. By that time I really don’t need the care, concern or acknowledgment. I might have needed it when I was no one to be acknowledged for. No one will ever know in these situations because I’ll not ever treat them any different and there isn’t any animosity, but there is recall. Why? Because everything we do or don’t do to another person makes an impact on them. Those impacts influence the rest of their lives by accumulation in decisions and choices. This includes my interaction with other people.

By the time I was in the 4th grade I was in the MGM program. At that time called Mentally Gifted Minds. My 9-year-old grandson is currently in the Gifted and Talented Education Program (G.A.T.E.).

During the 4th to 6th grade 2 of my class periods were reserved for tutoring the NES (Non English Speaking) students who just joined our Country from Vietnam, and other Southeast Asian communities. I was 8 years old when I began the 4th grade. These years were 1975-1977/78. Due to being bright enough to be a student teacher at such a young age, I missed normal class subject time; I began to fall behind in math studies. My mathematical education is only that of general knowledge. I held enough that I was promoted to General Manager for a Restaurant by the time I was 24.

I started college when I was 15 in the high desert of California. Law and Acting. I studied both Fundamentals of Crime and Delinquency and Theory and Practice of Acting. I loved being a minor, non-adult, in an adult law class. I loved that my mind was evolving, but it was at a pace others couldn’t keep up with. I loved learning by law enforcement mentors and the few things I participated in to grow and develop lifetime strategies for. I’ve been fond of the Law, Sociology, Philosophy, Theology, Theosophy, The Human Mind, Psychology, Enlightenment, Consciousness. Alternative Lifestyles, Natural Order and the last decade or so Pain Psychology. I like various other topics relating to each of these, too. When I indulge in a book these are the things I enlighten myself in.”  Excerpts from, Overcoming Challenging Obstacles by Twinkle VanFleet (Currently unpublished in its entirety) ©2015 Twinkle VanFleet, Overcoming Challenging Obstacles. All rights reserved.

(Several paragraphs have been removed from the original for this share)

 

It really is a multi-disciplinary approach to pain care and taking an active role in our own overall well-being that makes the difference between making it or breaking it. Even if we have to fake it to make it to get there.

~Twinkle

Living with HOPE Radio Show: Re-Airs Live- NERVEmber 19, 2015

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Living with HOPE - Trudy Thomas Radio Show LogoThe Living with HOPE Radio Show with Host Trudy Thomas will re air live NERVEmber 19th, 2015 on the Body, Mind, and Spirit Network. Due to health reasons she took leave in January and has been working toward returning.

I’ll be re-joining Trudy as co-host each Thursday at 2:30 p.m PST/5:30 p.m EST with a 30 minute guest speaker, or to review, or to discuss current affairs. The chat room will be available for your combination of listening and chatting pleasure. The call in number for the show is (929) 477-3203.

Please stay on the line to listen live or press 1 to speak to the host.

Living With Hope: Guest Twinkle Van Fleet

Together, we’ll bring you a diverse array of treatment options, healing essentials, technology, inspiration, activities, and living with hope.

Since 2007, Trudy’s mission has been to promote awareness for the millions of people who struggle with chronic or intractable pain. To let people know that they are not alone in their journey and that there is life after diagnosis. Trudy discusses various therapies and the emotional struggles that can arise with a chronic incurable condition such as RSD/CRPS and coming out on the other side. She strives to empower, inform and educate.

If you have a topic of interest or would like to request guest consideration and have any questions, Please, contact Trudy at: goldfield_nv@hotmail.com

With “Topic of interest” in the subject line to propose a topic. “Guest speaker” to be considered as a guest and “Question” to ask your question. Please provide your proposal or question for either. This helps filter email and requests to better serve you.

Hope to see you there!