I first began to advocate in 1985. I’ve told the story before at least in part. I was 15. I started college later that year. Majoring in Criminal Law, a minor in Drama/Professional Acting. It should have been the other way around, yet the likelihood of a career in one profession over the other made that choice for me.

By 1990, I was on my way to the big time. My husband sent me! I had graduated from professional acting and modeling school, I had an agent, I was really good! The modeling wasn’t what I wished for but it did give me the presence and poise to walk with style and later in life would become a success in another way.  I had only began to bloom in high school, the shy one who knew all her lines, all of them. Just couldn’t do a thing with it. Learned method acting, learned to emote, learned it all and I left them speechless at my audition at JRP.

Two things happened that same year. I lost my twins inside me and I closed my dads eyes. The commitment to advocacy, the Social Security Administration, the Appeals I wrote, the diapers I changed, the administration’s I fought with, while the man lay dying in the living room of our home. We won! I won! My Daddy received his first check within a week after his death. Yep! From the onset of his inoperable stage 4 lung cancer to the date of his death was 5 weeks. I was 22. I had 2 little girls. I had been married 5 years. I had the hospital in Chico, CA send him home to me by ambulance. He would die with me!

Compassionate Choices, I fought for years. I believed that California should have the same law that Oregon had. Enough of that!

My young nephew has Parkinson’s Disease. He was only a teen when diagnosed. He is only in his 20’s now.

The CRPS/RSD Community means so much to me and has for so many years, but my wings have never been to be clipped. Lock a collar around it to show who I belong to, Tat brand it to show what I am,  proud! Shaking those slave bells around my ankle is the all time reminder that freedom exists when you are with the one who truly owns you.

So here’s the deal, some of you know from way back when and some of you know I let it out from time to time. No secrets.

I can accept you in all of you as long as it’s not hurting me or mine. I can go as far as to say I love you, care for you, * am grateful for all your hard work, all that you’ve accomplished, just.. just, everything.

You may notice or you may not notice, but I really do not care about most of it. All I really care about is that people aren’t being hurt and that the community is being cared for.

I don’t see all the happenings, I don’t see all the posts, I will never be able to keep up on any daily going on’s.  I even miss the good things. Things that people would never want to miss. Yes, I miss them, too!

I will tell you that I must be a hypocrite.  And I doubt anyone else will admit they are too. I know you are!

There’s no face to faces online. There is no option to put us all face to face in a discrepancy and lay it all on the line with all involved parties. Get it over and done with!

Since I may not have the option to have that face to face, if I can’t have it in a conference where my part is laid out too? Then there is something wrong.

And until I can, my trust radars are extremely low.

Wouldn’t yours be?

You all probably already know this but..

Keep in mind one thing, if you have a secret, or even something you’ve shared with someone and hope no one else will know?

Expect for most everyone to find out!

Such is life!

Just know one thing, I have kept more secrets that you will ever imagine And I’ve kept more conversations whether they be secrets or not.

Aside from one person, and I’m trying to resolve it. Don’t worry it was more about me than it ever was about you.

I really do forgive!

All I want is for us all to be good to one another.

The one thing that Modeling (walking) gave me, assisted me with, which is partly funny and partly amazing is, partway through my injury, a man stopped me while I was limping and told me I had an incredible walk. Really? I was dumbfounded.  I do have a little sway to my walk. Incredible? Not hardly, but wow at the compliment! I use my left leg to pull my right leg and I have learned my own technique in a sense. So.. yeah my walk is me!

All we can ever do as individuals is be who we are. Build on it and who we hope to be.  Be happy for ourselves and the person next to us. Shake those pom poms and praise the skies that if it isn’t ourselves it’s someone else to do it for us  in the name of the same causes(s).

My son is a volunteer/advocate for Project Ride INC.. (and others)  and I’m right there with him sharing those links, caring, advocating..  and it’s not CRPS/RSD.

My Communities are diverse, but my heart …

Let me leave  you all with this..

“We have all been united by a single common denominator…

…And that is PAIN” ~©1997-2014 Twinkle VanFleet