Taking a Break Pt 2

Yep, I’m still on that break! I try to divert my mind by sharing, conversation, a little friendly debate, or simply just being with my family. Let me extend that by saying I’ve really been giving my pillow some head and my mattress some ass.. ( Some of ya’ll got naughty minds) haha!

But I will never tell!

I shake out my long dark wild locks and raise my dark almond shaped eyes to the skies and pray..

Get down on my knee’s with CRPS, don’t ever doubt that I wouldn’t.

Don’t ever doubt that I wouldn’t participate in an ASL Ice Challenge just because I have CRPS.

I did!

My life is meant to show other’s they can survive. If I fail because someone else tells them otherwise. Then I’ll have to either sit back and listen or intervene.

You make your break your own life.

If you think that challenge didn’t hurt me or hurt me like it would have you? You need to step back..

I’m not the same as most of you. I never have been. I was never born to be. I am a half of myself and I live as both of us.

Wanna know a secret?

I almost wasn’t Twinkle..  I could have been Kimberly…

Who is who… we are we…

I’ve lost 3 babies to my twin…

I need my daughter to stay with me…

O Saint Peregrine, you who have been called “The Wonder-Worker” because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you, who for so many years bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fiber of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more: you who were favored with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction, ask of God and Our Lady the cure of these sick persons whom we entrust to you (names of those for whom you are praying, including yourself if need be). Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing praise to God for His great goodness and mercy.

I am not Catholic, but I took communion at my Moms marriage to her husband Don. I did this as respect and as a form of commitment to God in all forms. I was baptized Lutheran.

Don’t ever presume you know me based on religion and don’t ever dummy me down based on education..

Sometimes you have to look at all of it…    all of it and leave your heart aside.

I still don’t have those results of my first baby girl. I know what they said it may be, but until I know for sure..        (all I need is the air that I breathe and to to love them)

One thing I do know and I have known most of my life, we look for someone or something to punish when our hearts are broken. When the medical field lets us down, fails us, our children down, when other’s kill what is ours. That which should remain in our living arms.

There becomes rage to prove a point.

Let go.

As I face it now, once again.. let go.

Let it go.




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