A Sleepless Night

Sacramento is facing a storm. It’s already beginning. I can hear the rain on the windows and feel it run through me. On the bright side, I can literally feel nature, on the darker side why does everything have to be so loud? Amplified. I can’t sleep! I slept until after 3:00 p.m so I’m sure that’s not helping.

We need to leave out of here for our kids house in 8 hours. For one I need to soak in their tub. Ha! Two, I’ll already be there for my son to take me over to cut my hair.

Maybe that’s why I’m still awake. Because I’m not backing out from doing it this time. Anxiety? I’m actually doing something unique in the process. Perhaps others already have. In fact, I’m sure they have, but no one I know has or has even brought it up to me. I can’t tell though for now it’s a secret. I can’t just cut it off and leave it like that. It has to have an element of creativity and still be a part of me, at least. ~laughs

Okay, maybe I’m anxious about Sunday, too.

3 of my dogs are caught up on their shots and tagged. Done! Phew! I still have some really awesome acting opportunities via my casting portal. I haven’t given up those chances since they started rolling in and this time around it’s my choice to do or wait to do. I think. lol. Unbelievable opportunities really. The only difference between then and now is 25 years. Ouch, I know. But my age range is 30 to 60 and that gives me something I would have never had at 22 because at that time I would have been 16 to 30 at best. Woot!

My best asset is the multi ability to play various characters. I’ve had an accent since I learned to talk yet I’m a California girl so it never made sense and no one else around me spoke that way for me to pick up on their talk. I do clean it up for in person, sometimes the phone, but as I grew and diversity became me in other aspects of life, I also picked up slang terminology. Don’t we all? This is my blessing in acting. In Voice, I’m Mezzo. Also known as Mezzo-Soprano. Soprano and Alto. There’s never been anything about me singular. It’s always at least one more or opposites. Yin and Yang.

That’s some pretty deep shit for one who was suppose to be mentally and physically retarded. Who was bright enough to start college at 15 with an education in Law and Drama at the same time. Get it? Only certain mindsets can be either. The law has to be able to know a criminal mind enough (by their own instinct, thought and emotions) to do the job. They have to be both light and dark. And the actor has to be convincing enough in character and/or another persons story to become believable. Understand?

When I write poetry or lyrics not everyone will know who or what is being written about. Why? Because I write it from different perspectives. Some my own, some through the eyes of others or as the voice of someone else.

I love it like that!

My speech ability is improving again for the most part. For a long time I couldn’t talk without stuttering or forgetting on the spot.

I play memory games for recall. Some of my YouTube video shares may show thought, recall, or hesitation, but they aren’t so slurring or stuttered. Really, even though pain had been hard, I’ve continued to do some awesome things. Some of those began over a decade before I ever had CRPS.

When I first left iPain I told myself heal. Just heal. Then I started moving through the 5 Stages of Loss and Grief http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/ even though stage 1 was a consequence of my own actions.

As each new day began, or maybe I should say as each night ended, I would fight with myself over tomorrow. On one side I told myself just leave it all behind. On the other I told myself I couldn’t. It was after the fact that I tried to go back, even if a little, but I was assured that I was done. This was okay because it was me after all who changed it.

Consequences.

Then a couple of weeks later, wow.

We all know or should know that our choices today, may not ever be a choice we’d make tomorrow and choices of tomorrow shouldn’t necessarily effect or reflect on all that was in our yesterday. But they do.

Why? Human emotion. If I feel bad and someone else feels bad a – and a – = -.

In the same sense if each party is in acceptance + and + = +. Yet if one feels bad and the other doesn’t. – and + = negative.

I can make $1 be $5 not just at home, but in business also. I also know $5 can end up being only a dollars worth if not used right.

I’m a critical thinker. http://www.criticalthinking.org/pages/defining-critical-thinking/766 documented and like my grandson ‘Tai who’s been in GATE http://westmore.wusd.k12.ca.us/gateeducation and has received honor roll recognition since he began school (He’s 10), I was also part of the MGM (Mentally Gifted Minds) program growing up.

critical-thinking-3-728

What does all this mean?

I suppose it means

“It’s never too late to be who you might have been”

 

 

Catastrophizing

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Rational Expectations

Catastrophizing is an irrational thought a lot of us have in believing that something is far worse than it actually is. Catastrophizing can generally take two forms. The first of these is making a catastrophe out of a situation.

What is Catastrophizing?

Catastrophizing has two parts:

Part 1: Predicting a negative outcome.

Part 2: Jumping to the conclusion that if the negative outcome did in fact happen, it would be a catastrophe.

Three Psychological Mechanisms related to Catastrophizing

Psychology research on chronic pain and catastrophizing has uncovered three types of mechanisms related to catastrophizing

– Rumination – (overthinking. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy technique for overcoming rumination)
– Magnification
– Helplessness

Overcoming Catastrophizing

– Mindful awareness

You have to catch yourself having cognitive distortions to be able to do anything about them,

– Consider Other Possible Outcomes
Consider positive predictions, neutral predictions, and mildly negative predictions, not just very negative predictions.

– Make a Distinction Between Significantly Unpleasant and Catastrophe
Key to overcoming catastrophizing is making a distinction between something being significantly unpleasant and it being a catastrophe. Failing an important exam would be extremely distressing but it does not doom the individual to a life of failure.

– Increase your perception of your ability to cope.
If you believe you can cope with negative events, anxiety will be much less of a problem for you.

Types of Catastrophizing

The common types of catastrophes people tend to imagine include:

– Imagining yourself losing control of yourself. For example, an individual with panic disorder predicts that if they go to the mall on a weekend afternoon, they will have a panic attack. They predict that having a panic attack would be a catastrophe, rather than it just being significantly unpleasant.

– Imagining yourself spiraling into a deep depression.

– Imagining yourself never finding love, and imagining that if this happens you will be plagued by intense feelings of loneliness 24/7 from now until you die.

– Equating some type of mild to moderate social rejection with being totally shunned by all desirable people.

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-catastrophizing/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/what-is-catastrophizing-cognitive-distortions


Commentary-

Excellent. And if imagination fails to exist? I bet that’s covered in the ICD 10, too.

Wait though, predict?

Hold up!

Ain’t nobody done yet.

Catastrophizing.

Recap

Catastrophizing has two parts:

Part 1: Predicting a negative outcome.

Part 2: Jumping to the conclusion that if the negative outcome did in fact happen, it would be a catastrophe.

Very few people go from jumping to a negative conclusion or outcome to being mindful enough to realize “its” just going to be a catastrophe.

Seriously?

Can I help a little more?

Show me somebody that’s like, “if that really gonna happen” I’m finna have me a catastrophe. Really?

Is that a Cognitive Distortion? And yes I’ve understood for decades that cognitive just means “thinking”. Knowing, perception, judgement, reasoning and cognitive behavior is just…  the behavior of thinking in the first place.

Rational or Critical thinking?

Catastrophizing?

Just asking.

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