Late Night Reflections

Health, healthcare, and the family unit has remained my focus. Change is constant and adapting is necessary. I’ve made some changes to a few of my accounts as my group is getting out of hand with requests, my inbox is out of control, and I can’t keep up with the repairs. I’ve left several groups and will be leaving others. I’m trying to figure out how to do this without offending anyone. I didn’t join these groups. I belonged to over 40 on Facebook. I’ve only joined 4 or 5 since joining in 2009. 20 of the groups, I’ve never even been in. I just learned how to figure that out, who added me, and when. I had no idea. Shows how little I actually know about navigating the Facebook. What brought this all to my attention was being notified asking how I could be in so many and why I haven’t been blocked from Facebook for joining all of them. Um, huh? Most likely because I didn’t join them. This wasn’t the first time I received a message of this sort, the first time was last year. I removed myself from several groups then. Since then, I’ve been re added, and made apart of even more. It is not that I don’t want to be in these groups or support the people who created them. I don’t have time to offer support, participate. It makes it look to some like I’m just there to, I don’t know, be nosy? I don’t like these assumptions especially when I didn’t join and I’m not able to make it into most of them in the first place. I know not everyone thinks this and some have just been friendly invites of mutual interest. I rarely send out friend requests, and will accept a few. The groups I have joined are unrelated to CRPS.

I’m exhausted by people insinuating that if someone isn’t with them then the other person is against them. People don’t have to like what you like, support it, participate or advocate to remain mutual with you. Sometimes it has nothing to do with not supporting something, sometimes it’s simply because people lack ability to take part. You don’t have to prefer what I favor, but I can respect you for thinking differently or believing in something else. I can respect you for not jumping on my advocacy efforts because you have no interest in it, or are without time or energy to take part.

It changes when there is no mutual regard.

Most people feel that respect is earned. I don’t ascribe to that idea. I respect right away. When I meet you, I respect you. From there it can only be lost.

As I write this, I’m slowly moving back into my bedroom. Just came back last night. I’ve been staying elsewhere in the home for quite some time. I imagine it will take me months. The other area has to be cleared away as well. Some items moved to the bedroom and others to different areas.

My mom, dad and sister niece will be here in 3 weeks. Can’t wait to see them. Haven’t seen mom in years. She just had a pacemaker implanted last month. She’s doing well considering the emergency placement from doctor appointment directly to the hospital for surgery. They are driving from Georgia and taking is slow. It’s important for her to see her granddaughter Kharisma since we don’t know the future of our daughter’s hepatic epithelioid hemangioendothelioma diagnosis. Excited for the time we will have together.

My husband was supposed to have surgery yesterday, yet was postponed. We were told it would be this upcoming week, but no word yet on rescheduling.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for the 29th. That appointment was scheduled 10 days after the surgery my man would have had on the 19th. The ultrasound is for a possible procedure pending results. Not sure as of yet if I will be able to keep that appointment. Doing what I can to get these symptoms.

Our grandson was promoted to the 4th grade. He’s growing up too fast. Our daughter Rikki is doing well.

And finally, our son left home about 2 weeks ago. Exploring life and working on his goals for the future. I know he can be whatever he sets his mind to. He already is!

Daughter, son, daughter, and grandson. (Rikki, Ozra, Kharisma and De'Mantai)

Daughter, son, daughter, and grandson. (Rikki, Ozra, Kharisma and De’Mantai)

“A tiny change today brings a dramatically different tomorrow.”
~ Richard Bach, One

 

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How Can Mindfulness Help With Chronic Pain? | Stephanie Weaver

Does mindfulness practice help reduce pain, or help us cope with pain better?

Both. Mindfulness can help reduce pain because it removes the worry about it, which is the other layer. Emotional and mental tension can add to physical pain. I have seen chronic pain go away via mindfulness. With systemic pain that does have a cause, mindfulness helps people cope with it better. When people rate their quality of life after mindfulness training, their scores on happiness, life satisfaction, and often activity level go up, even though the objective pain hasn’t changed. One student said, “I used to be my pain. Now I’m much more.”

Can you explain the phrase “suffering is optional”? I find it one of the most challenging sayings in Buddhism, because it implies I want to be in pain.

I don’t like that phrase because it’s confusing. I prefer to think of it like this equation from Shinzen Young: suffering = pain X worry

We typically equate pain with suffering. Pain and suffering are two different things. Nobody likes pain. But just because something is unpleasant doesn’t mean we have to suffer or react against it. Think of a time when you had pain, but no suffering was involved, like getting a tattoo or giving birth.

If we put what is happening to us in a different perspective, we’re suddenly able to tolerate it. In the beginning it’s a little bit of a mind game. But when mindfulness students look at it, and start to investigate their own experience, it starts to change.

You talk about separating our experience of pain into three components: the physical sensation, the emotions we feel about it, and the meaning the pain has for us.

When you break it into parts, it helps make it more manageable. We work with where the suffering is the strongest.

Let’s start with the physical sensation of pain. How does mindfulness deal with that?

We start to see that the physical pain is separate from the emotions we feel about it. We describe the sensation. We label it. That awareness is what is helpful.

And the emotions surrounding it?

We don’t often look at how we feel about the pain. What emotion is connected to the pain? Are you feeling sad, angry, or another emotion about it?

And finally the meaning of pain? I especially related to this because I do this myself. I feel fear about what a migraine might mean for me in the future.

Much of the suffering is often in the story we tell ourselves about it. Are you running loops about the story in your head, and is that making it worse? We might be stuck in the past, for example: that surgery or accident messed me up. Or we obsess about the future: because I have this condition, I will never be able to do X. Mindfulness brings you into the present moment. Instead of ruminating or rehearsing, be present and see how you actually feel.

Where can someone look to find out more about using mindfulness practice to deal with chronic pain?

It’s very difficult to start a mindfulness practice without a teacher, so finding a local class that teaches MBSR is the best approach. I like Living Well with Chronic Pain and Disease by Vidyamala Birch. There is an eight-week program called Breathworks that may help. Or try a recorded guided meditation.

How has mindfulness practice changed you?

I’m an M.D. by background, but I teach mindfulness full time now. I think that says a lot. As a physician, I became impressed with how mindfulness training is able to relieve suffering on all levels. As a physician my job was to “fix” people. As a mindfulness instructor, I give them tools to heal themselves. That’s really different.

Christiane Wolf, M.D., Ph.D., is a physician turned mindfulness meditation teacher. She is coauthor of the book, The Clinician’s Guide to Teaching Mindfulness.

Read the full article-

via How Can Mindfulness Help With Chronic Pain? | Stephanie Weaver.

Microglia Activation Causes Depression, Anxiety in Chronic Pain

June 11, 2015

Brain inflammation from chronic pain increases microglia activation, which inhibits the release of dopamine and may lead to depression and anxiety, according to a study published in The Journal of Neuroscience.

Although more than half of chronic pain patients experience depression, anxiety, or substance abuse, scientists were unable to determine what caused this association until now. In this study, the researchers sought to test if chronic pain disrupted the transmission of dopamine.

The researchers demonstrated that the activation of microglia in mice with chronic pain inhibited the release of dopamine. These results shed light on why opioids, which stimulate a dopamine response, can be ineffective for chronic pain patients.

The researchers instead tested a drug that inhibited the activation of microglia. This, they found, restored normal dopamine release and reward-motivated behavior in the mice.

“For over 20 years, scientists have been trying to unlock the mechanisms at work that connect opioid use, pain relief, depression and addiction,” said Catherine Cahill, PhD, of the University of California, Irvine. “Our findings represent a paradigm shift which has broad implications that are not restricted to the problem of pain and may translate to other disorders.”­

In future studies, the researchers hope to explore if mood disorders are caused by similar brain alterations, regardless of the presence of chronic pain.

Read more-

via Microglia Activation Causes Depression, Anxiety in Chronic Pain.

Read the full article at:

The Journal of Neuroscience

Microglia Disrupt Mesolimbic Reward Circuitry in Chronic Pain

My Dearest Daddy and Anne Madeline | Poetry

Dedicated to 2 birthdays on 6/6. My Dad and my maternal Grandma.

My  Dearest Daddy

By Twinkle VanFleet

06/06 – 09/07/91

Twinkle_Annie_Dad

ON SEPTEMBER SEVENTH 1991,
I CLOSED YOUR EYES-
ALL I CAN SAY IS I LOVE YOU,
I CAN’T SAY GOODBYES.

I WISH YOU WOULDN’T HAVE LEFT US,
I PRAYED YOU WOULDN’T GO AWAY-
I WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR PAIN IN A MINUTE,
IF YOU COULD HAVE JUST BEEN OKAY.

JESUS CALLED ON YOU FOR A REASON,
ONE WE CAN’T YET UNDERSTAND-
HE TOOK YOUR PAIN AWAY FOREVER-
HE PUT YOU IN GODS HANDS.

NOW YOU CAN WALK DADDY
AND RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN-
YOUR BODY CAN’T HURT ANYMORE-
YOU’RE STILL 100% A MAN.

NO ONE CAN SAY ANY DIFFERENT,
SOME WERE ALSO WRONG,
BUT THEY ARE THE ONES TO BE JUDGED-
WHEN THAT DAY COMES ALONG.

I’M PROUD OF YOU DADDY,
YOU ALWAYS DID YOUR BEST,
OUR MEMORIES ARE FOREVER-
NOW WE LAY YOU DOWN TO REST.

SO DADDY WALK WITH MAMA,
YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE-
SHE’S LOVING YOU TO PIECES,
FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

EVERYTHING YOU TAUGHT ME,
I’LL KEEP DOING IT RIGHT,
LET ME ALWAYS BE THE TWINKLE-
IN MY DADDY’S EYES.

LETS CLOSE OUR OWN EYES AND MAKE A WISH,
FOR YOUR ETERNAL LIFE I CLOSE WITH THIS-

IMMORTALITY IS A TOTALITY OF TIME,
WITH NO BEGINNING OR END…
HEAVENS LIFE IS NEVER ENDING,
SO DADDY, ‘TIL WE MEET AGAIN.

©1991-2015 Twinkle Wood-VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry Creations/All rights reserved.

Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

Written for, then publicly read and published at Sacramento Memorial Lawn the day of my dads service.
My mom is happily remarried. My mom and dad shared 25 years together before his passing.

______________________________________________________________

Anne Madeline
by Twinkle VanFleet

06/06 – 10/23/87

SHE WAS SPECIAL AND WE ALL KNEW-
SHE GAVE SO MUCH LOVE, SHE’S A CHOSEN FEW.

NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN, SHE’LL BE WITH US FOREVER-
WE MUST MAKE HER HAPPY, KEEP OUR FAMILY TOGETHER.

BROTHERS AND SISTERS, NOW YOU ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER,
NEVER DRIFT APART- YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL MOTHER.

SOMEONE IN HEAVEN NEEDED HER- MORE THAN US,
SO JESUS TOOK HER- WE MUST NOT FUSS.

JESUS TOOK YOU ON HIS RAINBOW TO HIS HEAVENLY HOME-
NOW YOU’RE AN ANGEL, BUT YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

ONE OF THESE DAYS- I CAN’T SAY WHEN-

I PROMISE YOU, GRANDMA-
WE’LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN.
©1987-2015 Twinkle Wood-VanFleet/Golden Rainbow Poetry/All rights reserved.

Copyright Laws and Regulations of the United States http://www.copyright.gov/title17/

Written for, and then publicly read at Sacramento Memorial Lawn. My Grandma was known as Anne Madeline, my sister’s name. When grandma passed away we learned her birth name was Anna Magdalena which is my daughter Kharisma’s, middle names. Since then we’ve learned there is another derivative as well.

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