My family spent the evening together. It was a last minute, unplanned, lets go out for a bit. Mama’s idea! We had no plans other than to grandson sit if our daughter had any. Ozra didn’t have any evening plans, and Erika a.k.a Erykah had an event to work at 10:00 p.m. I haven’t been out for New Years Eve or New Years Day for many years beyond our children’s home and most years I just slept midnight away. I didn’t want to leave our 10 year old grandson behind and while I might like to party, I don’t. I chose a spot where De’Mantai Xayvier could enjoy the night with us. And that’s what we did. Erik (Massah), Kharisma Anna Magdalena (Maggie), Erykah (Rikki) (and Dan), Ozra (Kurtis) and Austin.
Nana and Grandson
Hard to keep up on our names? I know. Kharisma was named after me. Odd right? When I was growing up everyone told me I had a lot of charisma and I was always being told how charismatic I was. I named her for that. And gave her the K. I’ve always liked the unique side of people, places and things, so a C wouldn’t work. I was still a teenager when she was born. I was 18 when I conceived her and she was born when I was 19. Initially our second daughter was to be named Destynee, but I named her after her daddy instead. Erik –> Erika. Our son was to be Atreyu (Son of All) but I named him after his Dad and great great grandfather. Erik Kurtis –> Kurtis Ozra (Ozie). I gave the name Atreyu to another, later. De’Mantai is known as ‘Tai. And then me, I’m called Twink by my family and close friends, but my toddler childhood nickname that I’m still called often and publicly is Ooie. Pronounced 00 ee. oo-ee baby! Then there’s Twinks, Twinkles, and a few others.
So we gathered together for a bit and was home fairly early by 10:00 p.m. Earlier in the day we went home so I could grab that Cymbalta. Being off it was too much! At first I wanted to call it quits since I hadn’t taken it at all in 2 days because I had forgotten to bring it. I’m like, I got this! Well I didn’t. That crap is the devil. At first I only took the 30 mg, but it didn’t stop the feeling of jumping in and out of myself. It’s a hard experience. So about an hour later I took the other 30 and within 2 hours I was feeling better. So today I continued on the 60 and tomorrow I’ll go back to the 30 and hope for the best. I think about 10 days or so to be off it again. My cold is getting better, still have it, but not like it was. Phew! My shoulder is off and on again. Much better than just on.
Going back home this evening after an extended stay at our kids this week. Stayed a little longer because I wanted to minimize becoming sicker for longer when I have things to get ready for. Plus the toilet is torn apart in our bathroom, pulled the entire toilet from the ground and still needed more parts to try to fix the issue. Have those parts now so the man can work on it when we get home. Other repairs and replacements should only take a couple of months. Yay! Once that’s done, I’ll explain and share how other seemingly “impossible’s” are possible.
And with that, you might understand more clearly the last 3 years.
You’ll either be surprised, disturbed or dumbfounded.
In any event,
You might finally get it in it’s entirety. No matter how much I’ve told, left open to interpretation or slipped up on, I’ve never laid it all out for what it’s been.
In this New Year, I will.
Happy 2017
#StrongerThanPain
Turning pain into her greatest asset was like turning water into wine by the bitter and sweet essence of nature. She waited. Wanting to become numb and no longer feel, but she also knew she would have to feel to understand. She knew that without walking shoes of others that she could never really embrace what they’ve gone through or was heading for. She would have to go there, too.
RSD Advisory- Where Chronic Pain & Depression Collide 