Springtime always makes me happy. Like many of us the winter months are exceptionally painful. I’ve often felt as though I was always starting over. I’ve changed that mindset to “I’m continuing on” instead.
This last year has been fairly rough. I’m still on a quest to find alternative natural pain and symptom relievers to help manage me. It’s been over 3 years now without any pain management other than myself and 2 years since I’ve gone to a primary, my pulmonologist, sleep specialist or anyone else.
I suppose in a way I’m pretending to live in a world where western health care services don’t exist. A world where if I want to live, survive, it has to be by my own self will.
I’m over believing care should be anything else for me. I tried that again last year and a new pain specialist was denied by my insurance adjuster. My attorney, without notifying me denied to appeal for me. That’s where I am. If I thought otherwise depression would take over. I haven’t had any suicidal events since January of 2017.
Spring is when I ready myself for outside home PT. That little pool is my sanctuary. The place where I work tirelessly to improve motion and regain physical strength to help myself though the winters. It offers enough weightless activity that I can move beneath the water where outside of it is difficult.
I’ve continued to stretch indoors as able.
I have extra incentive to work hard on myself again this summer. Our son announced his engagement to Samantha Castillo. He and Sam will be marrying in January and my husband will be walking her mom and I down the aisle together. Ozra is getting married where he was baptised and where my husband and I renewed our vows for our 25th wedding anniversary. 14th Avenue Baptist Church.
6 months ago tomorrow my husband had his 4th heart attack. Earlier that day we laid my nephew to rest. 6 month ago today I turned 50. The celebration was in his survival. I’ve been with him since I was 17. I can’t even, …
Anxiety and fear overwhelmed me for months. He’s stable now and I thank God for that.
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