Taking a break

The last week has been heavy. After 5 days my daughter came home from UCD Medical Center last evening. I have posted a bit, but we haven’t posted any specifics. We’ve been told she may have a rare form of cancer. She’s 26 years old. When she came out from her biopsies we were handed a piece of paper with the expected diagnosis written down based on the cells appearance. I won’t say it because I cannot, plus we don’t know for certain yet. There is still hope. An instant mama’s cry echoed from my vocal chords and I nearly hit the floor. If it hadn’t been for my cousin and husband I would have. My daughters recovery nurse came over and hugged me tightly and whispered “be strong”. I do have to be strong for my girl. We were suppose to have the preliminary results of the biopsies yesterday, but we didn’t get them. We will have them next week. My faith in God is all that is holding me together. My husband is keeping it inside and I am falling apart all because of my own illnesses and secondary depression as a result of CRPS. Now it’s so much worse. On the way to see our daughter a couple of days ago, I couldn’t stop crying, my sun glasses were on, my eyes which are already an almond slanted shape were so tiny they looked closed. I asked him if he could get to my doctor from where we were as we had just passed the street. He went around and took me. They seen me immediately without an appointment. Due to the flare up in my legs and the refusal to use my wheelchair to go back and forth, I had my Cymbalta increased. All I need is to be better for my family. All I need is to get me better, so I can be better for them. My son goes to Shriner’s next month, my EMG is on the 2nd, my husbands ongoing heart, diabetes, tear in his shoulder and now something I can’t face. Life is a learning experience. All of it is. With all that I face, I learn. That’s why I’ve been blessed to help others.

I’ve walked so many shoes, but this one…   nope nope nope.

I’ve taken time of from POPF, they immediately told me to take care of my family. I’m taking time off from my Group and related activities.

I’ll be around. Perhaps posting or sharing as a diversion.  In the meantime, I’ll be using my time to read and catch up on other issues.

There’s still hope and I’m praying. If you don’t pray or believe in the same, I respect that, maybe you can hope for us instead… ~T

 

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