Killing Me Softly…

…But not with a song. Instead it’s Empathy! The last few weeks I’ve pulled away from most activities online especially Facebook. I’ve always liked my little corner of the world, I like being the little duck in the big pond, away from the hustle and bustle of it all. I’ve always enjoyed raising awareness and helping others the best that I can a midst my own pain and hardships. I have a hard time feeling what other’s feel and it really doesn’t matter where or who it comes from. The emotion is still there. The worse of it is when people argue, or lash out at one another for what ever the reason might be at the time. Anyone, Or all the big and little one ups. I am not speaking of any specific person or group. It still plays heavy on me. I want to be friends with everyone. This does not mean I want to talk in private messages or share secrets. I do not. I want to be a part of a support network and get along with everyone. You won’t find me a part of tight circles or tight groups, I’m not into that. I prefer open sharing, caring, support and providing helpful information that can assist someone or everyone.  Private messages are on point. Rarely do I share personal information in private or get friendly with someone. Not because I don’t care but because I do. Everyone should be happy for what each other is doing positively.  If you knew me at all you would know that the community and life I come from has a specific standard of respect and decency, a moral compass, a morality that if people spoke to each other the way they do on Facebook they would be told to leave immediately if in person and if online booted right out the cyber doorway. Yes, really! And I am not speaking of religion in any way even though my spirituality runs deep. Some people think I know things or gossip about other people I know nothing of, I really don’t, nor do I care to know. Why would I want to cry over anyone’s drama? Empathy! I can say this much in all the time I’ve been on Facebook which has been a few years I haven’t exchanged more than a few dozen separate IM’s. Nope! There’s not many out there that can say that I have. I’ve spoken to, actually spoken to about a dozen people to the point of a conversation and a few more single answers to a question posed. I don’t even know why I’m defending this I suppose assumptions can hurt a bit too. I am truly not use to such chaos. Not being use to it does not make me better than anyone. I am not! But it does make me different from many. I really do look forward to meeting more people offline, being apart of local events, activities, and advocating for patients. I have been meditating on much lately. There is so much to life and attempting to live it. So much just breaks my heart. I’ve always had the ability to empathize above sympathy, most can only sympathize. Having too much empathy hurts. There’s no way to shut it off and it really does kill me softly. I will be focusing on the most important which may not be important at all to someone else. I know my path has been written I just have to decide which way down it to go.

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