Reflections Of…

Twinkle VanFleet Medtronic ID CardThe last week has been a bit overwhelming and my previous post somewhat confrontational. That is not the image I want left etched in the minds of my readers, followers or the communities in which I’m involved. I do not belong to a single community, but several. Contrary to what has suddenly become popular belief I am not hateful, bitter or spiteful. I have never in my lifetime been out to hurt anyone, I have only ever helped others. Before the injury which led to my CRPS I took care of children that weren’t my own, one had no blood relation to me or my children, other’s were by blood and did not include my own. I breast-fed a child that wasn’t mine because her own mother couldn’t and the baby couldn’t take any type of formula. I saved that baby’s life. I had happened to just give birth to my second daughter 2 weeks before and so was able to be a surrogate for her.

I cared for 2 dying people. I literally closed one of their eyes upon passing. I was not even old enough to really be put in the position to, but I was and I did.

I’ve lived a life of service.

Before I entered the CRPS Community, I was a controversial writer, reporter, small time. Published in various areas of writing, soft erotica, dance, poetry, I owned a small publishing business for a time on top of a 60 hour work week working for someone else and I was still busy doing for other’s.

I’m not here to sugar coat anything. And especially not from the last few days.

I’ve had attempts to add me to friends lists with names such Nancy Drew (Hardy Boy’s Nancy Drew Mysteries, remember those days?) I had a Mary Mack on my list that I didn’t realize was there (Mary Mack Mack Mack all dressed in black black black with silver buttons buttons buttons all down her back back back, remember the old kids clapping game?) and several other fictitious play names have tried to add me My support group has an influx of people attempting to join. I’ve had pages go up about me, one taken down, I’ve been called awful names, I’ve been told I’m going to be sued, I’ve been apologized to, and told if the person knew my name they would address me by it. I didn’t understand this all day yesterday because the person was messaging me to my name. Then I realized she must think I’m using a nick name. So many of them do. It was assumed I was also.

I’ve been kicked out of what I will call a group to give it anonymity., I will not mention the name and if asked I will not tell you. I honestly do not know if it’s common knowledge or not. All those involved were removed from what I understand. It did seem a little odd for me as I had not posted there at all. I cannot let it hurt me, anymore. I admit that it did! Very much so! I have no animosity toward the administration for their decision.

While many are very upset with me, I do not have any regrets in regards to letting everyone know that the information I posted in the comment section of the previous post was truthful and accurate.

My only regret if it’s even a regret at all is that when push came to shove I shoved back with a vengeance.

Would I do what I did again? I’m not sorry to say, yes! Yes I would!  I don’t need popular to survive, I only need to survive. I am not just a CRPS survivor,  no….

I am simply a survivor!

My life has shown me that from the very beginning in all it’s let me see and feel for myself.

I wish you all pain eased days and nights,

Proof of my name is included.

~Twinkle VanFleet

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