This has been an overwhelming week. Tears, emotional pain, fear, worry and uncertainty.

These have been hard years in health and hardship. No one knows what its all entailed. A few people have known pieces and parts. Some of it is overflow from a decade ago, some is new or ongoing, and others are sudden crisis situations. Some I saw coming, attempted to prevent or minimize damage to but couldn’t do a darn thing about and additionally, those on the spot occurrences lacking any clue in sight.

Its become drastic. I prayed, and prayed, remained in prayer, held down a breakdown even though it’s been a struggle to stabilize it all. Now, drastic measures are necessary.

I’m not able to elaborate.

I’ve kept myself from rage just barely a time or two. When my anger rose, I prayed. When the tears rained, I prayed, when I was woken out of sleep in panic attacks I prayed and when panic randomly took my breath away throughout the day, I prayed.

I heard Father God clearly. I heard my Lord precisely. I know what to do now. It’s too late for any other choice or remedy.

That time has come and gone without resolve.

I’ve made pre arrangements to start a new life and leave all of this one behind.

I can’t take this one with me- there’s too much pain in it.

I began taking my power back 2 years ago. I know that the perception of others was that this occurred earlier. It didn’t. I can’t stay waiting for others to change and do better for themselves, accountable and responsible. I’ve stayed through thick and thin, for better or for worse, sickness and in health and I have loved, honored and cherished, deeply.

Next year will be 40 years.

He’s sick, I’m sick, and I’m barely able carry the whole load that is always too close to burying me.

Make better a priority.

God was so clear! He’s been trying to tell me but I submitted and complied to my husband’s wishes and ways and not my Father’s.

I must abide in God’s will and only God’s will. It’s for my good and his Glory.

There’s so much to be done now. Hopefully, I don’t crash. I know I carry the spiritual strength of the Lord inside me all the time. I’d have not beaten all that I have already had it not been so.

My husband can come too, but I’m not staying. I cannot!

I’ve secured a new place to live and the vision of a beautiful life is ahead of me. Whatever is left of it- for both of us.

Thank you, Jesus!

Gracias mijo.

Maybe 2026 gonna be my year!