I woke up at 3:00 a.m. out of my sleep with a panic attack. Its 4:30 a.m. now.

I’ve been trying to steady my emotions while snapping to it to do as much as I can physically since a major home disaster occurred 2 daya ago. An act of God, some may call it.

I was already in a flare a couple of weeks back when I halted use of Kratom tea for a week.

That flare caused a more than moderate spinal flare and I barely had 2 days of resuming tea when this serious issue struck.

Because I had to do all I could to clear debri my back, legs and feet are so bad now.

I’m not a victim by any means, but seriously, a break from tragedy and chaos is greatly needed. Its one thing after another and its always been.

No wonder I never heal.

Yesterday, I tried to keep active with shares and a bit of engagement in between hussling myself to get things cleared, boxed, and trash seperated. My husband can’t get time off work.

I’m the only one doing any of this and its not something that can wait. At all.

I have no clue what we’re going to do.

I doubt I’ll be able to budge much today. I’m hoping to rest or get a nap. I’ve rarely napped in nearly a decade. Many rests, no sleep with it. It pains my body worse and I remain exhausted day after day.

I’ve gotten back on a CPAP but it doesn’t provide better or refreshing sleep for me that’s often raved about. It does occasionally raise my blood oxygen which is a plus because I’m consistently low 90s, high 80s.

I have my back brace on now and relying on it.

I’ll need to eleviate my legs throughout the day, I dread being bed ridden. I already have lidocaine on.

What are you trying to tell me this time God, I’m listening.