When I say, I don’t want to talk about it, what I really mean is I don’t want to dwell on it or revive visceral emotions. I refrain from extra sadness on my heart.

Its become a habit of sort to halt certain conversations as they begin.

I get in a lalala mode in my head immediately and I don’t do well to proceed answering certain questions especially in regard to family matters.

I’m not speaking of internet relations although I suppose it applies.

I become overly anxious.

It’s a trauma response. Instead of going through the motions of explaining or engaging, I simply leave it or allow it to trail off.

I’m decent, polite. I just don’t let myself feel pressured or flustered.

Some people aren’t asking how we are, or how something is going because they actually care…

its because they’re fishing for the scoop.

Generally, I’m an open book. Not all things are someone elses business, though.

These last several years have been an extention of healing from the other hardships years prior.

It takes a great deal of effort to both stand my ground and be cordial and kind in the midst of intractable pain and managing my own well being.

Stress is an enemy.

I care for me, for me, so that I can care for my husband, my loved ones and then anyone else I might assist.

It’s taken a lot of time with God to get me here.

Inner peace is valuable. I have to avoid becoming overwhelmed and overestimated.

I still struggle with bits of stimming and meltdowns. Tears have lightened.

Gracias Dios.

Pouring myself into bible verse, chapters, and gospel has been beautiful.

Church, Spanish Lessons, Music Movement Therapy are all personal gains and distractions each week.

Speaking of Church, I have great news to share soon. Amazing news!

It’s been nearly 2 years since I’ve blogged an entry here. A lot to write about if I get an inclination to do so.  🙂

Feliz viernes!