Our Thoughts

Our thoughts. They don’t choose us. We choose them.

Living with chronic illnesses and the secondary depression and anxiety disorders that came along with, I’ve often been caught up in my thoughts, emotions.

Today is a day that if I’m not mindful and aware that I could end up caught in one of those emotional traps.

Physical pain is debilitating. The inability to stand from a seated position without severity is overwhelming. I need my legs and feet to lift my back and I need my back to get to my feet.

Negative thoughts try to take advantage of my well-being.

I’m not trying hard enough, I’m not doing enough, I’m a failure. Guilt.

As I said, “try”. They are trying to, but I cannot allow them to. I’m in control.

It’s not true. I’m neither of those. The devil is a lie.

I couldn’t make our dinner yesterday, my husband did it for us.

Today is worse than yesterday. I don’t want him to go to work each day and then come home and feed us. It’s the one thing I do regularly. We don’t do take out, perhaps twice a year at best,, nearly everything here has to be prepared, cooked and served. That keeps me busy.

Did I mention my best friend? The Crockpot?

I got our food into the crockpot earlier. My main goal achieved. If I’m not able to serve it this evening, at least it’ll be ready for my husband to plate.

Team work! Attitude of gratitude.

When a negative thought sneaks in, I immediately replace it with a good one. This doesn’t do anything to relieve the physical, yet it does help to not fall into a major depressive episode and steer clear of suicidal ideation. So far, so good.

It’s a way for me to get by.

Stronger Than Pain


Forward in Faith

After Church on Sunday,, I managed to get a little sunshine. I didn’t spend long on the patio, and only minutes doing water PT. It was too difficult lowering and raising myself. Once in, I was able to lay back on my elbows some but wasn’t able to get up on my elbows from my belly. Bummer! That began another flare. My neck couldn’t take it, and my left arm and shoulder blade rippled with intense pain.

As I was drying off, I reflected on life, as it is. It is what it is no matter how much we rather it not to be. I’ve become as content as I can be with that.

1 Corinthians 2:5

That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

I just recently started using a posture correcter to help even out my shoulders and hopefully offer relief to the cervical stenosis and other issues there. I swear I can feel my Levoscoliosis actually curve and pull.

My CRPS is weak yet strong. That only makes sense if one considers the toll it takes to endure. Those who have it, know.


Forward in faith.

Sunday Mornings

My Church has been streaming live on Facebook for months now due to the California Shelter in Place orders. When the restrictions lifted they remained online yet returned to in person worship with major precautions in place, briefly.

Our Governor reinstated these restrictions.

Online only again since last month

Due to physical health reasons, I had not attended in person since 2018.

For many, online isn’t the same. It removes being among each other, greeting one another, singing together, comfort and worshipping the word of God in each other’s presence.

For me, its a blessing. I missed not being able to listen to the word, be with the people I’d come to know and adore over many years. Prior to 2017 (My CRPS remission year), I had only gone on Easter Sunday, or for Christmas.

It really lifted my mental health that year and does so once more.

I can be with them this way.

My son Ozra was baptized at 14th Avenue Baptist Church on his 16th birthday, Easter Sunday that year. In 2024 he’ll share his birthday with the resurrection again. It was also Easter Sunday when I went into labor with him in 1997. He’s 23 now.

This is where he formally re married his precious bride, January 2020. It was beautiful. They had legally married on July 1st 2019.

I was baptized Lutheran at Gloria Dei in Sacramento where I attended as a child and a few times into my adulthood. My mom attended their parochial school in her youth.

14th Ave is where my heart is.

My husband and I had our renewal of vows ceremony here for our 25th wedding anniversary 8 years ago.

If you’ve been disconnected from your own Church due to Covid19, you’re welcome to ours.

If you don’t have a Church of your own, you’re also welcome.

For those disabled and ill, you’re welcome most of all.

Pastor Steve does a mid-week word of encouragement via their FB page. I share this and the Sunday live each week just incase you might be interested.

My Sunday Mornings are dedicated to being here. I answer no messages, view pages, or scroll elsewhere during this time.

14th Avenue Baptist is located in Sacramento, California.


Facebook presence is located at:


I hope to see you there!